Needless to say but we’ll say it anyway: TRIGGER WARNING! In this article, we’ll be discussing sex, masturbation, and post & pre-op anatomy. Of course, we’re not monsters and we only bite when asked to!
BUT if you do find yourself in a bad place today, maybe bookmark this article for later. Either way, we love you and wish you the sexiest and most gender euphoric of times!
Unless you spend a ton of time on message boards and discord servers, it’s staggering how little information there is out there regarding trans women’s sexuality & bodies. Yet it is such an important part of gender identity!
Most women end up having to figure things out for themselves, leaving them almost entirely clueless as to where to turn. A real shame since dealing with dysphoria or your changing body ( or making the most of what mother nature gave you! ) during those moments can be quite challenging.
The lack of definitive information can somehow be understandable since every single transition varies wildly from a person to another. So it is hard to speak for everyone considering that some folks have yet to go through with SRS or HRT and that’s if they choose to go in that direction at all.
Still, there are some toys & tools that can be extremely beneficial to any trans woman, SRS, HRT or not!
So whether you’re looking for sex toys that’ll make pre-op dysphoria that much easier to deal with, or toys for your brand spanking new genitalia, you’re absolutely in the right place!
We won’t stop at the kinky stuff either. We’ll talk about gaffing/tucking, waist training, and big feminine shoes for the tall girls in the room.
Plus, if your lady bits aren’t quite ready yet ( or ever ) for them, you always got your booty, girl! Just make sure your toys have a base in the form of a suction cup, balls, or other so you don’t lose them in the process. And if they don’t, just don’t ever let go of that handle! Nobody needs more hospital visits in their lives.
Of course, when it comes to suction/air-pulse toys, you might struggle to make it work with your anatomy without SRS. But the makers of the Womanizer did make a toy that works the same way for penises. A toy that might feel more gender euphoric than any other traditional stroker for some!
External Post or Pre-Op Sex Toys
Powerful rumbly external toys are extremely popular amongst trans women for a reason. Of course, cis women love them just as well. But the selling point here is that you can benefit from them no matter where your anatomy is at!
Post-Op, you can simply use these toys as intended, and you’ll be glad to find that it won’t matter if you did lose a bit of sensitivity or not in the process as these are often prescribed as toys for anorgasmia in cis women as well. Alternatively, if you find the power a bit too overwhelming to be used directly on your clitoris using it around your clit can be just as effective!
Pre/Non-Op girls don’t have to adjust much either to have a great gender-affirming sesh. Just start at your perineum and work your way up to the tip of your anatomy to find your favorite spot and never let it go! Also, being able to use these over clothing/panties is a godsend for avoiding dysphoria during masturbation.
You’ll also find that the low-frequency rumbly vibrations offered by these bad boys can penetrate deep into your body, stimulating even the most sensitive internal structures of your body as well. Stimulating your “G”-spot from the outside might sound crazy, but it is entirely possible!
“Hitachi” Magic Wands
Most trans women swear by their “Hitachi” Magic Wands!
This is because strong low-frequency vibrations can travel through clothes and flesh, allowing you to feel them deep inside of you, no penetration required!
The “Hitachi” Magic Wand now comes in 3 distinct models:
The Magic Wand Original is the cheapest model of the 3. Being over 30 years old, it also only features 2 very strong levels of vibration and a short 6 ft long cable, but both issues can be easily fixed with a cheap dimmer extension cord. An upgrade that might be mandatory for the more sensitive bits out there or for someone who just prefers a more gradual climb!
The Magic Wand Rechargeable, for twice the price, is cordless and features 4 incremental vibration strengths along with 4 different rhythmical pulsations. It’s the perfect option for someone who can afford it and can’t stand the sight of cables. It can also be used while plugged in like the Original if you ever run out of battery and comes with a soft & easy to sanitize silicone head as well!
The Magic Wand Plus is a nice middle ground between both models, it has all the upgraded features of the rechargeable but is corded like the original.
Otherwise, all models are just as powerful and compatible with multiple attachments that can turn your wand into almost any type of toy available on the market today.
In the past few years, there have been a ton of new wands that are just as good as the Magic Wands, so definitely take a look at our Magic Wand alternatives article as well!
Plus, since MWs don’t come with European plugs, it might be your only choice!
Let me let you in on a little-known secret: Turns out G-spots and P-spots are not only in the same-ish emplacement but they’re also essentially made from the same genetic material!
What this means for you is that, if you didn’t get too much P/G-spot shrinkage from hormonal therapy, you can probably use G-spot toys as well! Just keep in mind that prior stimulation helps a lot in making this region swell and become sensitive.
I also made sure to include some really rumbly toys which could easily double as clit toys/wands if you don’t feel like buying external AND internal toys!
Pre/Non-Op, they can make for some pretty gender-affirming alternatives to prostate toys. They can essentially be used the same way. Just make sure you never let go of the handle as these rarely come with stoppers. you wouldn’t want to lose your precious new fancy toys now, would you?
Post-Op, just make sure you’re pointing the curve towards the front of your body when using your G-spot toy vaginally. Depth will vary from person to person, so explore until you find a nice sensitive spot. Sometimes your spot can be slightly at the left or right as well.
Just like with any other woman, your success will really depend on your anatomy. Heck, some cis women have no skene gland at all, so don’t beat yourself up if shrinkage’s got you down. There are a million other ways to get off anyway!
So please be patient with yourself and if it’s your first G-spot toy, maybe go cheap before you’re certain it’s for you ( or do some prior hand-cranked spelunking of your own beforehand )!
Pillow Talk Sassy
The Pillow Talk Sassy is cheap, powerful, rumbly, and comes in a classic shape, making for a perfect first-time G-spot toy!
It’s got all the necessary modern features you’d expect too! It’s rechargeable, waterproof, and comes with a nice range of functions.
There’s even a cute Swarovski Crystal that acts as a button! Diamonds AND rumbles are a girl’s best friend, so this is essentially better than any standard bejeweled accessory.
What’s the big difference between such a cheap toy and a high-end vibrator like the Rave below?
Well, at low speeds they’re both as rumbly ( heck, the Pillow Talk might even be a touch rumblier ) but once you get to higher speeds, the Pillow talk will get buzzier as the Rave remains on the Rumbly end. It’s not a huge downside, but if you’re all about rumbles and using your toys in the highest settings, you might still prefer the Rave.
Of course, the Rave also comes with App-Control and a great asymmetric design which could also be deciding factors.
With its rumbles, sheer power, and innovative design, the Rave is definitely a contender for the best g-spot vibrator ever made.
I’d even argue that it is one of the most powerful handheld toys that isn’t a Wand.
It has an asymmetrical silicone body that encourages you to explore every possible angle it has to offer. This means that traditional prying motions feel awesome but twisting motions will work just as well.
Plus, its curve is not so intense that you won’t be able to use it as a traditional dildo if you feel like it!
You can also control the Rave’s vibrations through a smartphone app.
Giving your code to anyone anywhere in the world will let them control your toy from any distance. A feature that makes this G-spot toy perfect for long-distance relationships.
The only real caveat is that it is only safe to use in the shower / it isn’t submersible! So if you’re a jacuzzi kind of lady, you might prefer the Pillow talk mentioned above!
Sure, I’ve given plenty of info in equal measures to all you fine women out there. But I feel this wouldn’t be a complete article if I didn’t give a bit of attention to you post-SRS gals.
First of all, congrats on your successful surgery! I wish you all the gender euphoria in the world!
While your doctor might’ve prescribed you some bland plastic tool to get you used to the larger stuff, you have so much more options that are even more exciting, fun, and gender-affirming at your disposal.
A quick word to Pre/Non-op ladiesthat are still listening: These below toys are also pretty awesome for getting used to larger toys / dicks anally ( sometimes even better than buttplugs ). So yeah, I lied. These are for you as well!
Dilators are such a medical and cold part of the transition process, we might as well try to make it as pleasurable as possible.
When it comes to standard dilators, you’ll want to skip the shitty plastic models as they aren’t as comfortable or hygienic as the alternatives out there.
Silicone is king here as you can easily fully sanitize it with a quick boil, plus it has a bit more give than a plain piece of plastic.
Intimate Rose is one of the more popular choices out there, but I’ve recently fallen in love with the She-Ology dilator sets. They’re more tapered at the tip for easier insertion and their large bases work better for strap-ons and anal training (for the girls looking to work on other entryways)!
A quick word on silicone: it can have a bit more drag than plastic, so make sure you use plenty of water-based lube!
For some almost completely frictionless dilators, you’ll want to go with glass!
It has all the benefits of hygienic silicone, but you’ll also be able to use any lube of your choice ( looking at you, long-lasting silicone lube ) and the material is so frictionless you’ll barely struggle to work your way up another size!
This is a pretty underrated choice so you don’t have a ton of options here. But Crystal Delights makes the great Pacik Dilators collection, which should be all you need for all your frictionless dilation needs!
If you want to get out of this all too medical field of dilators as early as possible, you’ll want to look into small & gradual dildos.
Not only are they less dysphoria-inducing to play with, but their shapes are often more appealing and pleasure-inducing. Plus, if you’re into men with dicks, more realistic shapes are important to get used to as well!
As if this wasn’t enough all of these will fit beautifully into a harness of your choice, so if your SO is a strap-on wielding baddie… Well, you’re welcome, my friend!
Here are some of the best small dils around for all you gals eager to move on from medical to sensual:
The Tantus Silkdildos ( seen above ) are a great starting point as they come in 3 very gradual, untextured, and forgiving sizes. The shiny frictionless silicone finish is also very beginner-friendly.
The Fuze Star is perfect if the jump between the Silk small & medium is a bit too intense to you. With the Silk small being at 0.8 inches in diameter and the medium 1.1 inches, the Fuze’s Star meets you right in the middle at 0.9 inches. Plus it has a pretty good suction cup for some hand’s free fun!
The Tantus Leisure (1.25 inches) like the Fuze Star is another perfect bridge, but this time between the Silk Medium (1.1 inches) & Large (1.5 inches). The leisure is a touch pricier than the other options as it comes with a removable vibrator. If you like that feature, I suggest you upgrade to a better vibe like the Tango as soon as you can!
The Tantus Compactis a great alternative to the above toys if you’re looking for something a little more realistic! I still suggest starting with the Small Tantus Silk and maybe the Fuze Star as well before moving on to this one though.
The Tantus Sport is essentially a Tantus Silk with a nice G-spot bulb a the end! With a 1.1 inch shaft and being 1.25 inches at its widest point, it would be good if you had some experience with the Silk medium at the least. Even better if you’re used to the Leisure!
Vixen’s Vixskin Spur & Raquelshould be your first foray into the wonderful world of dual-density silicone toys! These toys feel almost like the real stuff and are just a joy to squeeze on! If you’re fancy, jump to the Spur as soon as you’re done with the Silk Small or Fuze Star and once you’re ready, move on to the Raquel and you can thank me later!
WHERE TO BUY
There are a lot of toys represented here so click through the links in this entry for the best places to buy!
Essential Tools For Trans Women
Toys are fun and all, but gender euphoria doesn’t only happen in the bedroom, it’s really an all-day thing!
So the following section is all about helping you to feminize your form, without hormones, surgery, or none of that stuff! Even if you’re a ball of estrogen and post-SRS, I’m sure you’ll still find some of the options below still useful to you.
We will also be discussing shoes as this can easily become a problem if you’re a tall mama. Big & tall clothing stores are pretty easy to find, but a lot of women hit a wall when it’s time to fit into that glass slipper. But never worry my beautiful friend, I’m here to help!
This one is specifically for the Pre-Op & Non-Op girls who are looking to show off their form in tighter clothing or bikinis and so on.
It’s also pretty useful if you don’t want to worry about the wind when wearing a dress or a skirt!
Just keep in mind that tucking, shouldn’t be a 24h ordeal. Circulation keeps your bits healthy, and you’ll want healthy bits even if you’re looking to eventually go through with SRS. So make sure you’re slipping out of these once you are back home and ready to get comfortable!
There is plenty of traditional underwear that’ll work nicely for tucking.
Lace underwear is pretty awesome as the material isn’t as stretchy as what you’ll find in basic cotton undies. If you like the feel/style of cotton panties better, go a size smaller or just double up for a pretty cheap DIY gaff.
Tons of trans women swear by boy shorts as they are great for keeping everything safe and contained. The name might be a bit dysphoria-inducing to some, but remember it’s a popular style made specifically for cis women!
If you’re looking for something a little more form-fitting, I’m a big fan of the Transform brand as they offer some pretty good & affordable gaffing underwear. But just remember to choose the right size, as tighter isn’t better here. It just means more injuries than anything else!
If you find tucking/gaffing uncomfortable, another great alternative is the “gaffers” found at Leolines’ Etsy. It’s a looser more comfortable tuck but looks great nonetheless. Just expect to spend about twice what you’d normally spend on a traditional gaff.
Cinching is probably the best thing you can do to feminize your form as it can shave off inches off your waist. Plus, after some training, you’ll get to keep some of your gains even without your cincher or corset on!
So let’s get that hourglass shape going and make all your other girlfriends jealous!
First of all, a message to all you penny-pinching ladies out there: Do not try the duct tape and shrink wrap method! This dreaded method will not only prevent you from breathing properly, directly affecting your general well-being, but it can easily make you pass out right there on the spot!
While fainting was considered pretty lady-like in the 19th century, today it’ll just ruin any party you’re at.
What’s the difference between a standard cincher/waist trainer and a corset?
Cinchers will usually allow you to trim off about 1 to 2 inches off your waist, while corsets can easily go up to 4 inches with enough effort & time! Cinchers are also much more affordable as well.
Waist trainers/Cinchers will also give you a more natural waist while corsets can end up looking pretty unreal ( think Jessica Rabbit ). But the permanent gains with corsets will be more dramatic and more natural once you take them off. It’s also worth mentioning that corsets can be both worn under AND over your clothes as they can be pretty gorgeous as well.
Before you go on and skip the cinchers only to buy the cheapest corset you can find, know that it’s usually a bad idea to cheap out on these. Using a cheap corset is actually the best way to get hurt, so I’d avoid it entirely!
Plus, a decent Amazon cincher is pretty darn cheap!
If you’re looking for a dramatically slim waist ( up to 4 inches in waist reduction, no surgery needed! ) and the option of wearing your corset under or over your clothes, you’re definitely in the right place!
Before I get to my suggestions, here are a few quick tips of the trade:
To avoid pinching and unsightly bruises, wear a subtle t-shirt/tank top under your corsets! Of course, if you’re wearing your corset on top of your clothing, there’s really no need to double up.
Also, if it hurts, quickly get out and retighten your corset so it is comfortable for you. Pain = BAD with corsets. If you want more of a cinch, just slowly work your way to it. You get to your max cinch in days, not minutes!
Lastly, the most comfortable corsets for trans women are usually underbust. Plus, they look great on top of almost any dress. It’s also not crazy to invest in a trans-specific corset either!
For affordable corsets, you should start with Orchard Corsets. They’re also super trans-aware too so they’ll know how to deal with your specific needs, no judgment included!
If you’re ready to invest a little more, Mystic city, Timeless trends, and Dark Gardenare also quite popular in the corset community, with the last option even making MTF-specific corsets!
It’s no walk in the park to find cute or feminine shoes when you’re tall like a runway model.
Petite gals are definitely lucky creatures in this case, but thankfully, all you need to know is where all these tall gorgeous women shop!
Of course, depending on your style, you can always opt for unisex shoes like Converse or Doc Martens. Sneakers and Chelsea boots are also pretty easy to cheat with as the gender differences here are usually indistinguishable. But if you need something a little more suited for a fancy dinner, or you’re just girly like that, the following options will do nicely!