Best unrealistic dildos
Last updated:

Whether you’re a heterosexual man, a lesbian, or just someone who prefers simple and beautiful designs, chances are you’re not looking for a realistic dildo!

So if you’re turned off by folds and veins galore, you’ve landed in the right place folks! In this article, I will cover the best semi-realistic, unrealistic, and non-phallic dildos available today. 

Plus, almost all of these one-way tickets to Smashville are harness compatible, so fans of pegging, strap-on lesbos, and trans men rejoice!

They’re also almost all safe to use for anal play. So as long as there is a base, you should be good to go.

If you’re looking for more non-realistic dildos, make sure to read our list of fantasy dildos as you’ll find a host of gorgeous toys inspired by mythical creatures & pop culture. So if that’s your kind of thing, you won’t want to miss it! 

Otherwise, if you’re not looking for a dildo that doesn’t look like a penis, refer to our realistic dildos list where you’ll be bound to find what you’re looking for! And if you’re looking for truly large toys, you’ll probably enjoy reading our large sex toys list as well. 


Also, make sure to see our guide on what lubes to use as well as how to clean your toys to avoid any complications.


With that being said, here’s our top 16 list of the best unrealistic dildos, not necessarily from worst to best, because everyone’s needs and budgets are different.

TL;DR

 

Flexible & cheap non-realistic dildos with suction cups

Blush’s Avant

 

Most affordable glass non-phallic dildos

Glas Glass Dildos

best silicone abstract suction cup dildos Blush's neo elite glow in the dark review

 

Best dual-density glow-in-the-dark suction cup dildos

Neo Elite Glow in the Dark dildos

 

Cheap clear dildo that looks like full-on candy

Neo Elite Hanky Panky

Blush Nude Impressions Best Suction cup vibrating dildos

 

Best vibrating suction cup non-realistic dildos

Blush’s Impressions

 

Best dual-density & semi-realistic suction cup dildos

Blush’s Avant Ergo

best pussy plug / wearable dildo / non-phallic dildo Squarepegtoys G squeeze review

 

Best affordable pussy plug / wearable non-phallic dildo 

G squeeze Vaginal Plug

Dildos that don't look like dildos: Hole Punch Fluke Review

 

Gorgeous & versatile butt/pussy plug dildo hybrid

Hole Punch’s Fluke

 

Biggest collection of quality unrealistic dildos

Tantus Collection

Strap-on-me double density bendable dildo review

 

Amazing posable semi-realistic triple-density suction dildos

Strap-On-Me Bendable Dildos

Pris Toys' Basilisk & Sentinel review best large silicone dual density dildos that don't look like dildos

 

Beautiful non-realistic dildos for size queens/kings with double-density option

Pris Toys’ Basilisk & Sentinel

 

Most gorgeous abstract indie dildos

Uberrime Dildos

Uberrime Vaginal Plugs Review

 

Beautiful premium pussy plugs / wearable dildos

Uberrime Festa & Suavis

 

Best high-end Swarovski encrusted glass dildos 

Crystal Delights’ Dildos

Dildos that don't look like dildos: Le Wand Arch Review

 

Awesome stainless steel 2-in-one dildo

Le Wand’s Arch

selfdelve review

 

Silicone candy & food replica dildos

SelfDelve

Vixen creations mustang review best non-realistic dual-density dildos

 

Best dual-density semi-realistic dildos

Vixen’s Vixskin Mustang

Cheap Dildos

Avant by Blush Novelties

Blush Avant dildo review best affordable non-phallic dildo

These unique designs are all hand-poured layer by layer with premium body-safe silicone. In the Avant collection, you will find anything from abstract to semi-realistic designs

These affordable body-safe dildos are flexible & squishy and they all come with strong suction cups.

While it changes nothing about the toys themselves, I absolutely love the cultural references in the toys’ names. You can get the classic black, white, and red “Sin city” dildo. Or maybe you prefer the funky & forever sexy “Purple Rain”. I truly believe that Prince would be honored to be immortalized as such a stylish purple dildo. I’m also a big fan of their G-Spot and prostate champion; the “Pride” dildo!

My only real concern is that while most would be satisfied with the size offered here, people who enjoy larger toys might feel a bit left out.

Conclusion
The Avant line is Affordable, stylish, and most importantly, every model comes with a pretty good suction cup attached.

Though if you’re looking for bigger toys, you might feel a little underwhelmed. Otherwise, this is a solid little collection of suction cup dildos that shouldn’t be ignored.

Material
8
Features
7.5
Sensation
8
Pros
Beautiful hand-poured designs
Squishy & bendable
Strong suction cups
Easy to clean
Sanitizable
Cons
Material still has a bit of drag
but it's definitely less noticeable than the Luxe collection
7.7

 

Gläs Glass Dildos

Glas glass dildo review best glass dildo

The Gläs line is one of the most affordable collections of glass toys I’ve ever seen. And unlike other cheap brands like Pipedream’s Icicles, you won’t have to worry about dubious quality, paint chipping, and easy-to-break handles!

The main advantage of glass toys is that, on top of being little works of art, they are frictionless, easy to sanitize, and compatible with all lubes.

And don’t you worry, being made of Borosilicate glass ( like Pyrex ), these toys are pretty damned hard to break. If it wasn’t the case, they definitely wouldn’t be this popular!

Glass toys can also hold temperature pretty well, so they are perfect for temperature play. Just don’t put them in the freezer unless you want to end up with a frozen pole and tongue situation down there. To avoid any complications, we generally suggest running hot or cold water on the toy before play.

Just keep in mind that glass toys have less give than other materials, so go a size down if you don’t want any surprises.

Conclusion
The only real downside to these toys is that no glass dildo ever came with a suction cup. Also, if you’re not into rigid toys, these are obviously not for you.

But other than that, these beautiful, affordable, hygienic & frictionless toys are well worth trying!

Material
8
Features
7
Sensation
8
Pros
Affordable glass toys
Basically frictionless
Compatible with silicone lube
Easy to clean
Sanitizable
Cons
Not for people who dislike rigid toys
Can be broken if dropped hard enough
7.5

 

Neo Elite Glow in the Dark Dildos

best silicone abstract suction cup dildos Blush's neo elite glow in the dark review

These toys are affordable dual-density, glow-in-the-dark dildos for all you raver kids at heart.

These dildos are not only great budget dual-density dildos but they’re also quite unique. Plus, they’re super easy to find in the dark!

They might also be the most affordable quality dual-density non-realistic dildos you’ll find. So if you always liked the idea of dual-density toys but were bummed that they were all ultra-realistic and pricy, this is your chance! 

They range from realistic shapes to completely abstract designs and everything else in between.

So it doesn’t matter how abstract you need your dildos to be.

Like with most old-school glow-in-the-dark toys, just let them soak in the light first for the best results when the lights are finally off.

Conclusion
It’s already awesome that these are affordable dual-density suction cup non phallic dildos but when you add the fact that they also glow in the dark, you’d be crazy not to buy them!
Material
8.5
Features
9
Sensation
8.5
Pros
Dual-Density ( Squishy yet stiff )
Affordable
Glow in the dark
Nice variety of choices and colors
Good suction cups
Easy to clean
Sanitizable
Cons
Not all that unrealistic
8.7

 

Neo Elite Hanky Panky

 

Once upon a time, there was a dildo called the Luzarte Jollet, it was adorable, innovative, & shaped to fit the female anatomy better than a bio dick! Clear silicone dildos were a rare thing and ones that looked and felt like this even rarer…. and then POOF, it was gone forever.

Those were the good old days, but they left my heart ( and many orifices ) with a gap that was pretty hard to fill.

Now I’m not saying that this brand-new homage to the Luzarte Jollet is as good as that premium groundbreaking toy. The shape and silicone just aren’t the same…

BUT this dildo looks almost just as cute and edible as the classic for a fraction of the price! And it glows in the dark too!

It’s not too thick at 1.6 inch diameter and still offers a good 7 inches of insertable lenght for those who like to explore their deeper A-Spot. Plus, this one comes with an integrated suction cup, which wasn’t a thing on the OG.

I miss you Jollet, I miss you Luzarte, but for now, this cutie will do!

Conclusion
I used to recommend the Luzarte Jollet every chance I got, and then it was gone forever. Sure this one is very much of a “We already have Jollet at home” kind of situation. But kind of a Jollet is still better than no Jollet.

Plus, it’s super affordable and glows in the dark! And you can’t be mad at that!

Material
8.5
Features
9
Sensation
8.5
Pros
Affordable
Adorable
Glow in the dark
Good suction cup
Easy to clean
Sanitizable
Cons
Bring Luzarte and the Jollet back please
8.7

 


Mid-Range Dildos

Blush’s Impressions

Blush Nude Impressions Review Best Suction cup vibrating unrealistic dildos

Great abstract vibrating suction cup dildos are like the unicorns of the dildo world…

…And that’s exactly how I would describe Blush’s Nude Impressions! Plus, with 5 very different models to pick from, there’s really something for everyone in this collection. From small and slim to long and thick!

They’re also rechargeable, 100% waterproof, and come with 10 different vibrating modes

With Blush being the king of affordable & powerful rumbly vibes, the Nude Impressions vibrate like there’s no tomorrow!

Even if it seems too good to be true considering the price, these guys vibrate like high-end toys at least twice their price. And with most vibrating suction cup dildos being buzzy disappointments, this is definitely a godsend.

Conclusion
These are the best vibrating suction cup dildos PERIOD. Including realistic and non-phallic dildos!

Don’t let the small price fool you, these are must-haves for anyone craving hands-free rumbles.

Material
8.5
Vibrations
9.5
Features
9
Sensation
9
Pros
Strong rumbly vibrations
Good suction cups
100% waterproof
Nice variety of shapes and sizes
A lot offered for the cheap price
Easy to clean
Sanitizable
Cons
Can't think of any
9

 

Avant Ergo by Blush

Avant Ergo review best semi-realistic dual-density suction cup dildos

Following closely behind indie companies, big manufacturers all seem to have jumped on the dual-density bandwagon.

The Avant Ergo dildos ( previously called the Realnude ) are Blush’s attempt at making their own version of this popular silicone combo. And being one of our favorite affordable brands, our expectations were quite high. 

Well, we’re happy to say that, as usual, they’ve delivered! 

More on the Semi-Realistic side than completely abstract, they’ll appeal more to people who aren’t looking for veins and folds galore than for people who are trying to completely avoid any resemblance to a dick.

So how do their dual-density dildos compare to the competition?

Well, like most blends, they’re squishier than Tantus’s O2, and the firm core is one of the bendiest around.

Most importantly, decent suction cups come included with every model.

A feature that rarely makes an appearance in dual-density toys. We’d even go as far as saying that they’re the best suction cups you can find on any dual-density dildo. An impressive feat coming from such a budget option.

Conclusion
Affordable, semi-realistic, dual-density silicone toys with powerful suction cups. I mean, what more can you ask for?

Even if you were planning on spending buckets of cash on the best dildo you can find, it’s hard to let the Ergo pass. And at that price, you might just as well get both.

Material
8.5
Features
8.5
Sensation
8.5
Pros
Dual-Density ( Squishy yet stiff )
Nice variety of choices and colors
Good suction cups
Easy to clean
Sanitizable
Cons
Not all that unrealistic
8.5

 

G squeeze Vaginal Plug by SquarePegToys

best pussy plug / wearable dildo / non-phallic dildo Squarepegtoys G squeeze review

What if you’re a woman or AFAB and you really don’t want a dildo that reminds you of a dick? Hell, what if you want dildos that don’t look like dildos at all? Maybe you just really want a toy to squeeze on and fill you up while you go about your business, whatever that is?

Well, the G Squeeze Vaginal Plug might be the answer to all your problems as this is the best dildo for women looking not to look at a dick while getting off!

Shorter than most dildos, this pussy plug / wearable dildo was tailor-made for the female anatomy. Which is the kind of thing you didn’t know you wanted. Let me explain:

First and foremost, if you don’t know this already, tons of women/AFAB folks enjoy simply squeezing on a toy during clitoral stimulation and the silicone found on this toy is squishy as fuck! But the benefits don’t end there, my kinky friend. 

Vaginal plugs can also be worn in public ( with a tight enough brief to avoid any accidents while squatting and jumping ) without having to deal with the common issue of most panty vibes being too noisy for certain situations. They’re so discreet no one will have to know about your naughty little secret! Hell, it could make most house tasks and errands that much more enjoyable! 

Such toys are also great for sitting on, and rocking back and forth. They’re perfect for enhancing anal sex when worn vaginally, as well. Plus, nothing stops you from simply using it as a traditional dildo either!

What makes the G squeeze even more revolutionary than its rare competition is its unique shape.

It’s clear a lot of thought and user feedback went into the making of this toy as the G squeeze was clearly tailor-made for the vulva & vagina:

  • It’s just the perfect length to fit most vaginas measuring pretty close to the average depth of the female anatomy when aroused ( 4.5 to 4.75 inches ).
  • The ingenious T-Bar base sits comfortably between the labia and, depending on your anatomy, will rub against the underside of your clitoris in certain situations.
  • The neck is just small enough to provide pleasurable sensations to the sensitive entrance of the vagina while still being comfortable.
  • The bulbous lower part of the plug offers a great filling sensation while rubbing against the G-Spot.
  • Finally, the scoop-shaped soft tip is perfect for some extra cervical/deep stimulation, without being too long and hard as to not feel like you are just being uncomfortably poked up there. 

Speaking of ingenious shape, it can be folded in half for easier insertion ( which is definitely helpful on the larger models ). 

Being reversible, depending on if you wear it forward or flip it 180 degrees, you will get completely different sensations, with one angle providing more of a focus on the g-spot while the other feels more filling.  

Squarepegtoy’s G Squeeze also comes in plenty of sizes and colors!

So whether you’re a size queen or a total beginner, you will definitely find something you like. It goes from more than reasonable to full-on fisting here, so I’d be surprised if you can’t find your size!

It also helps that each color this super squishy silicone comes in is absolutely gorgeous. The unique shiny metallic shimmer ( a signature style for SquarePegToys ) found on these makes them not only great to squeeze on but also quite pleasing to look at!

Conclusion
Tailor-made for the female anatomy, this pussy plug / wearable dildo is the perfect toy to squeeze on while masturbating, taking a walk, or reading your favorite sex positive blog ( wink wink ). 

It’s also the perfect women’s/AFAB’s dildo that doesn’t look like a dildo. So anyone looking for the one of best non-phallic dildo they can find should give this one a go!

Material
9.5
Features
9
Sensation
9
Pros
Tailor-made for the female anatomy
Actually Non-Phallic
Super squishy & perfect to squeeze on
More discreet than a panty vibe
Plenty to colors and sizes to pick from
Easy to clean
Sanitizable
Cons
I kinda wish there was a vibrating version
9.2

 

Hole Punch Fluke

Dildos that don't look like dildos: Hole Punch Fluke Review

What if you really like the idea of a pussy plug / wearable dildo that you can lock into place and squeeze on while you play, but still want something that’ll do more traditional penetrations as well?

Well, the Fluke by Hole Punch is what I’d call a Pussy/Butt Plug dildo hybrid!

It’s less targeted at strictly vaginal play, so it’s a great butt plug while still being an awesome pussy plug. But the Fluke is also dildo-like enough for in-and-out penetrations thanks to its bulbous end.

Hell, its inflated top half will laser focus on all the sensitive bits at the entrance of your vagina or anus ( including prostates and G-spots! ) as you go back and forth.

Once you’re done with the stroking, you can just push it in and, thanks to its thin neck and larger base, it’ll lock right into place, ready to be squeezed on as you focus your attention elsewhere!

So it’s super versatile and awesome, especially for those who like all kinds of internal stimulation.

What’s more, I just love the gradients on these colorful toys.

It’s a type of silicone pour I just wish we saw more on sex toys as it’s incredibly appealing to me. And while I’m a huge marbled fan… this might take the cake ( literally and figuratively )!

Conclusion
This butt plug/pussy plug dildo hybrid is the most versatile dildo of its kind when it comes to different types of penetrative play.

Plus, these things are just gorgeous I just can’t stop staring at them! So you’ll even have something to do when you’re done playing with them.

Material
9
Features
9.5
Sensation
9
Pros
Pussy/butt plug dildo hybrid for super versatile play
borders on being non-phallic
Squishy and great to squeeze on
The gradients and colors are absolutely gorgeous
Easy to clean
Sanitizable
Cons
Gimme more sizes please!
Round bases can get uncomfortable for long term wear
9.2

 

Tantus Line

Tantus dildo review best unrealistic silicone dildos

Tantus is a classic company with one of the largest collections of high-quality silicone toys.

While most of their toys are made of glossy frictionless silicone, they still have a few matte models as well.

All their vibrating options have removable vibrators that can be replaced with their great suction cup add-on. Another strong point is that almost all their toys are harness compatible as well!

They also offer a pretty big collection of large silicone dildos. Which is a rare thing coming from such a mainstream company. But Tantus always was special like that!

I would also like to give a special mention to the Flurry, Cush, and Duchess.

Their beautiful designs along with Tantus’s dual-density squishy O2 silicone make these toys some the best in their collection!

Conclusion
Tantus holds the biggest, most diverse silicone dildo collection one can find today. There truly is something for everybody here.

Their non-realistic dual-density silicone O2 toys are also a nice option in a world where dual-density toys seem only reserved for realistic dildos.

Material
9
Features
8.5
Sensation
8.5
Pros
One of the biggest collection available
A variety of models are bullet vibe and suction cup compatible
Frictionless & Matte models avaiblable
The O2 collection is made of dual-density silicone
Nice variety of colors
Easy to clean
Sanitizable
Cons
Can't think of any
8.7

 

Strap-On-Me Double Density DildoStrap-on-me double density bendable dildo review 

Strap-On-Me is one of those newer brands that is really starting to grow on me for all the work they’ve been doing for the lesbian and pegging community.

They make unbelievably sexy lingerie strap-on harnesses for femmes, great body-safe squirting dildos, and probably the greatest double-ended “strapless” dildos in the business! But despite the name, it seems like they want to be more than just a strap-on company… And I think they’re succeeding.

Their “Double Density Dildo” is a bit of a marketing mistake. Or maybe they’re just being modest as it really is a triple-density, posable dildo!

In this semi-realistic dildo, you have your usual dual-density cores, plus an extra posable one at the center. So unless my math teachers lied to me my whole life, I believe that’s 3 densities!

What’s more, when it comes to bendable dildos, this might be the best one at holding its shape during play. So once you find the perfect bend for your g-spot or prostate ( or lack of bend, if you like it that way! ) it’ll most likely stay like that until you’re done!

Do you know what’s better than a great dildo? A great dildo that offers 4 different sizes and 5 different colors!

You got realistic colors, abstract colors, and sizes for almost anyone’s needs. You need a small anal dildo? done! You’re a size queen/king just aching for a dildo that does it all? Done, done!

In a world of amazing dildos sadly only targetting one aesthetic, size, or shape preference, this is truly refreshing.

Now, I know this is a bit childish but just I love the heart-shaped suction cups, alright?

I’m just cute like that. Plus, they work great! So there’s that.

Conclusion
Want a dildo that does everything & you don’t mind a bit of semi-realism?

It’s an affordable triple-density dildo, has a posable core, a good heart-shaped suction cup, and comes in many sizes and colors… I mean can you ask for anything more you greedy bastards?!

Use our Strap-On-Me Coupon code TABOOLESS10 for 10% off!

Material
9
Features
9
Sensation
9
Pros
Semi-Realistic
Triple-density
Posable dildos that actually keep their shape
Comes in 4 sizes and 5 colors
Easy to clean & maintain
Sanitizable
Cons
none that I can find
9

 

Pris Toys’ Basilisk & Sentinel

Pris Toys' Basilisk & Sentinel review best large silicone dual density dildos that don't look like dildos

Pris Toys are just starting to make waves in the world of dildos that don’t look like dildos and I’ve noticed!

What’s more, they’re making some of the best affordable large non-realistic dildos yet!  

They come in gorgeous marbled colors, and while they aren’t necessarily long, the girth is the real showstopper here for size queens and kings alike!

So unless you really need a toy to bottom you out with some length to spare, they’re definitely worth a look.

They make 2 different thick dildos in both standard squishy silicone and dual-density.

The Shapes are pretty non-phallic so they’re perfect for those who just aren’t into dicks. And though they don’t have any significant G/P-spot curves, they’re so thick they’ll hit them anyway.

The Dual-density options are very similar to Vixskin ( except for the realistic look of course! ), which is definitely impressive for the price.

Of course, Vixskin is still king here, but for thick dual-density dildos that don’t look like penises, that’s pretty much you’re only option at this price point and quality!

pris toys nova review

If 2.5 inches in diameter is too much for you but you still like it thick, they also make the 2-inch Nova!

It’s pretty much part of that family as it matches them in looks and comes in beautiful dual-density and marbled silicone as well. It’s just a touch more forgiving!

Conclusion
If you’re a size queen/king who just isn’t into realistic toys, this is an awesome affordable option. Especially if you’re looking at the dual-density options.

So as long as you don’t need particularly long toys to get off, these are definitely a steal for the quality & size!

Material
9
Features
8
Sensation
8
Pros
Cheapest non-realistic large silicone dildos
comes in both single and dual-density silicone
Easy to clean & maintain
Sanitizable
Cons
All girth & no length
Limited selection but they're only starting
8.4

 


High-End Dildos

Uberrime Dildos

Uberrime Dildo review best abstract silicone dildos

That’s right, another indie company! What can I say, I’m a huge sucker for sex toy artisans.

You see, Uberimme is one of those rare independent companies that broke through the Etsy world and landed spots in some of the most popular stores of today.

Something that is quite understandable since they make some of the most beautiful marbled silicone designs we’ve ever seen.

These pieces of fuckable art come in a variety of abstract and fantasy designs.

While most of them are uniquely textured, they’re not that overwhelming since their silicone has a fair amount of squish to it.

I’m also big fans their glow-in-the-dark toys like their re-imagination of the classic Jellyfish dildo and, of course, the Dr. Manhattan.

Plus, as a part-time toy reviewer and full-time nerd, I really appreciate the comic book reference. 

Uberrime splendid review best semi realistic dual density dildo

Uberrime also makes a great dual-density dildo named the Splendid.

While not entirely unrealistic in shape, the interesting colors it comes in sure balances it out.

Splendid’s silicone has a consistency that lies between the harder O2 by Tantus and the softer Vixskin by Vixen creations, so it’s a great middle-ground for people who are torn between the two.

Conclusion
If you love marbled silicone toys as much as we do, you’re probably already repeatedly smashing the buy button by now.

But for those who are still reading this, these toys are perfect for people who love beautiful dildos with just the right amount of squish and texture.

We suggest browsing at both SheVibe and Peepshow Toys since their selection of premade toys are entirely different.  Of course, if you’d rather have a custom made dildo by Uberrime, you should head to their Etsy Store instead.

Material
9
Features
8.5
Sensation
9
Pros
Beautiful hand-poured marbled designs
Splendid models are Dual-Density
Nice variety of textures
Easy to clean
Sanitizable
Cons
Can't think of any
8.9

 

Uberrime Festa & Suavis

Uberrime Vaginal Plugs Review

Oh well, lookee here, Uberrime again already! Did I mention how much I love them?

So you liked the previous pussy plugs but are looking for something a little more luxurious? Enter the Vaginal Plugs from Uberrime!

On top of being the new holy grail for non-phallic and versatile dildos like the above vaginal plugs ( go back to the G-Squeeze entry for all the benefits ), these toys are just absolutely gorgeous instead of being strictly functional.

Both toys come in 3 comprehensive Sizes that should accommodate the most reserved to the most demanding of orifices! But there are some differences:

Uberrime Festa Review

The Festa comes with a T-Bar base that is just perfect for all-day wear, so it’s bound to be a favorite for sitting on and walking around.

If you’re lucky enough to have a short distance between your clitoris and your vaginal entrance, you might even get some extra stimulation that way in some angles!

All in all, this one is more of an all-arounder and should satisfy most!

Uberrime Festa Suavis

The Suavis puts way more emphasis on the G-spot, so as you contract, it should apply a nice amount of pressure on said G-spot! And though it comes in 3 sizes just like the Festa, it is overall a larger, more filling toy! Thanks to the tapered head, it is still a breeze to insert.

The base here is even more subtle than the Festa, so if you find anything rubbing on the outside of your vaginal entrance uncomfortable, that might be your pick as well.

This does sadly, remove the ability to be used anally as the base isn’t substantial enough to prevent it from slipping in.

Conclusion

These are not only some of the best vaginal plugs around, they’re also some of the most beautiful! And if that doesn’t make you want to pop one of the suckers right in, I don’t know what will!

Material
9
Features
8.5
Sensation
9
Pros
Beautiful hand-poured marbled designs
Tailor-made for the female anatomy
Actually Non-Phallic
Super squishy & perfect to squeeze on
More discreet than a panty vibe
Easy to clean
Sanitizable
Cons
Suavis isn't safe to use anally
8.9

 

Crystal Delights’ Glass Dildos

Crystal Delights dildo review best glass dildos with Swarovski crystal

If you like your glam with a side of artistry, you will love Crystal Delights.

Handmade in very durable borosilicate glass, almost every unique piece comes adorned with a genuine Swarovski crystal.

They make gorgeous dildos ( and butt plugs ) in all sorts of different shapes and sizes.

A lot of what has been said about the previous cheaper and mass-produced Icicles is also true about these toys. But just keep in mind that, like with any other Swarovski toys, you should avoid boiling them during sanitization since it could dislodge the crystal from its base.

Their classic models are simple and beautiful and all come adorned with a genuine Swarovski Crystal. 

If you’re feeling adventurous, their twist dildo will provide a sensation like no other.

Literally meant to screw yourself, this twisted glass dildo might seem intimidating at first. But once you get past its looks, it is actually known to feel amazing on G-Spots and prostates alike. This all thanks to its many pronounced ridges.  Just remember that this dildo is meant for twisting, and not thrusting!

best unrealistic dildos crystal delights glass twist review

Conclusion
Honestly, this is as classy as an unrealistic dildos get. So if you want every single part of you to look like a million bucks, you know what to do!

Material
9
Features
8.5
Sensation
9
Pros
Comes adorned with real Swarovski crystals
Basically frictionless
Compatible with silicone lube
Easy to clean
Sanitizable
Cons
Not for people who dislike rigid toys
Can be broken if dropped hard enough
It shouldn't be boiled for sanitization as you might lose the crystal
8.8

 

Le Wand Arch

Dildos that don't look like dildos: Le Wand Arch Review

The Arch is the most dildo-shaped stainless steel toy I’ve seen yet!

Most of them seem to be meant for intense G-spot stim or anal like what the pioneers of surgical stainless steel toys ( Njoy ) and their many copycats usually tend to make.

Large stainless steel sex toys Njoy's Eleven review

Sure, Njoy makes a very dildo-like toy but it’s absolutely gigantic! While this is great news for size kings and queens, it’s not so great for the more modest of us.

Le Wand’s Arch, on the other hand, is between 1 inch to 1.45 inches in diameter, which is like most “regular” bio dicks! Though it is still worth keeping in mind that these won’t squish like a human or a silicone dildo, so it is still slightly more filling than it looks.

One end has a more traditional & smaller dildo shape, while the other is more bulbous and filling.

The larger end sort of reminds me of the ever-popular, and often-copied shape of the Mona and Ina from Lelo.

It’s bulbous enough to hug every wall of your anatomy without being too overwhelming at the same time. So it is perfect for some G-spot stimulation or to finish up once well warmed up by the other end!

The only real downside here is that the Arch is pretty heavy so it can get a little tiresome to hold over long sessions.

But on the other hand, the weight does add something that’s a little hard to explain while in use, as it presses against your insides without you having to do anything ( Pro tip: flip on your belly and it’ll just weigh down on your P/G-spot! Yum! ).

Its heft sort of expresses power in a slightly scary yet hot way. Hard to express in words but those in the know will understand!

Conclusion
  If you can handle the extra weight, the Arch is essentially two near indestructible non-realistic dildos in one! And both shapes are incredibly satisfying as they’re inspired by the best dildo shapes out there.

Plus, stainless is an awesome material for its hygienic, temperature retaining, long-lasting silicone lube compatibility, and frictionless nature! 

Material
9
Features
9
Sensation
9
Pros
Two different ends mean double the fun
Basically frictionless
Compatible with silicone lube
Nearly indestructible
Easy to clean
Sanitizable
Cons
Not for people who dislike rigid toys
Can get heavy over time
9

 

SelfDelve

selfdelve review

The Germans are most known for their engineering and being freaky as hell and Selfdelve is basically the perfect marriage of the two!

You ever looked at a particularly phallic piece of candy or produce and thought ” if this thing was more hygienic, I’d definitely tap that”?

Well, you’re in luck my friend, since SelfDelve makes the most realistic Silicone food replicas in the business! 

We all know we’re not supposed to play with our food, but now you get to do just that without the guilt or possible irritations that might come with it!

These things are so realistic and beautiful, they’re basically the Realcock 2 of the food world. And in a world of flat-tone silicone dildos, these almost look like magic! 

So if you’re looking at making your fake fruit bowl a whole lot more exciting, this is it folks!

Conclusion
  These are definitely an acquired taste, but boy if that’s your flavor, this is as good & hygienic as it gets!

So whether you just enjoy it for the quirkiness or you’ve been lusting over all those phallic foods only to be stopped by hygienic concerns, this is the company for you!

Material
9
Features
9
Sensation
9
Pros
Super realistic silicone replicas
Big variety to pick from
Slick frictionless silicone
Can be hidden in plain sight
Easy to clean
Sanitizable
Cons
None I can think of
9

 

Mustang by Vixen Creations

Vixen creations mustang review best non-realistic dual-density dildos

O how we love Vixen Creations’ Vixskin dual-density silicone toys.

They all feature a firm inner core and the squishiest outer core we’ve ever seen. So they’re comfortable to use and feel as natural as a toy can get.

The Mustang is, sadly, not entirely unrealistic.

The mold, being pretty realistic, is somehow balanced out by the bright funky colors it comes in. And from my experience, a nice unnatural color often goes a long way in making folks switch to the other side.

It also comes with pretty decent suction cups, making this one of my favorite semi-unrealistic dildo.

If you don’t mind realistic shapes when coupled with flashy colors, the posable pack and play dildos from NYTC are also great options. It also helps that they’re some of the best g-spotting and prostate dildos around.

best unrealistic dildo

UPDATE: Since I first wrote this entry, Vixen Creations has released even more colorful versions of their classic toys. So if you don’t mind the realistic shapes, there are even more models to pick from!

Conclusion
My only complaint is that there aren’t enough abstract VixSkin dildos.

Unrealistic dual-density toys are so rare to find and I know a lot of folks who would be very happy to have more options available to them in that department.

Material
9.5
Features
8.5
Sensation
9.5
Pros
Dual-Density ( Squishy yet stiff )
Gorgeous marbled colors
Some models come with suction cups
Easy to clean
Sanitizable
Cons
Not all entirely abstract
We just want more
9.3