Anal play is a practice that doesn’t discriminate.
Male, female, straight, gay, giving, or receiving, many of us love taking advantage of this natural pleasure point. Surrounded by super-sensitive nerve endings, our behinds are rarely left behind when it comes to sexual fun.
Not to mention that the taboos associated with anal sex make the practice immensely more exciting and exhilarating for us.
Yet if you were to ask the average straight man to describe the scope of his anal explorations, it most likely wouldn’t be too broad. The most common anal activity between heterosexual couples is straight-up penetrative penis-in-ass sex. Perhaps a bit of anilingus (aka rimming or rim jobs) will be thrown into the mix in order to lubricate and prepare the area beforehand. But otherwise, that’s about it!
Let’s talk about your butt
But what about YOUR behind.
Yes, that’s right, I’m talking to you!
Unfortunately, for many straight men, their assholes are off-limits. But why? Unlike the female anus, the male anatomy offers an extra pleasure point, that is of course, the prostate. The prostate is a small gland located between the bladder and the penis.
The purpose of the prostate is to secrete a fluid that protects and nourishes the sperm, creating an environment that will allow the sperm to flourish once it enters the vagina. As with other organs that are part of the human reproductive system, the prostate is extremely sensitive and chock-full of nerve endings.
With proper stimulation, men may experience intense internal orgasms through prostate stimulation alone. That’s right, imagine receiving a mind-blowing orgasm without even laying a finger on your genitals!
The prostate is colloquially referred to as the male G-spot, and with good reason. First of all, the G-spot/Skene gland is essentially the female prostate, being located around the same place in both men and women. Additionally, the male prostate orgasm has often been equated to the female G-spot orgasm!
Rather than the quick and localized sensation felt from clitoral orgasms, the G-spot orgasm is more of a full-body experience. Waves of pleasure tend to surge throughout the body, oftentimes leaving the person extremely drained yet fully satisfied.
Don’t get me wrong, localized and external clitoral or penile orgasms are nothing shy of amazing, but the elusive and somewhat harder to achieve internal orgasm is definitely worth giving a shot! For some, G-spot orgasms, like the male equivalent, are easier to achieve while for others, finding the right spot or rhythm might be a bit trickier.
But hey, practice makes perfect, right?
The stigma of it all…
If you are wondering why there aren’t more straight men exploring their prostate, well, so am I.
Unfortunately, wherever there is sex, there is stigma and hetero anal play is no exception.
Perhaps the most obvious reason as to why this practice isn’t more widespread is due to the associations of the penetrator being in a role of domination and power, while the one being penetrated is linked to the more passive and submissive role.
As long as certain conditions and criteria were met, two men having anal sex was not at all seen as odd or queer behavior, nor was it frowned upon.
The practice was only deemed acceptable in the eyes of society if a man were to anally penetrate another man of lower status than himself such as a slave or prostitute. However, it was deemed unacceptable and deplorable for a man of higher status to take on the passive role of being penetrated. Even if the poor Roman citizen loved the sensation of getting topped, it would have had to be done in complete obscurity, otherwise, his reputation and status would have been permanently tarnished.
During these ancient times, societal stigma dictated a man’s social status through the way in which he would have homosexual anal sex. To the modern ear, this may sound like an absolutely absurd and outdated approach to sexuality, but unfortunately, it is still happening today.
Whether we like to admit it or not, machoism mentalities have been engrained in us since the beginning of time. Only recently, within the past few decades, has this system been put into question. As much as we try to dismantle sexual taboos such as this one, and despite all the positive advancement towards sexual liberty and equality, many of us still hold onto these archaic associations, oftentimes without even knowing it!
If you are aged anywhere from your mid-twenties and onwards, chances are you might have been raised in an environment that typically exalts the male figure as holding the dominant and assertive role. Women, on the other hand, have been placed throughout history in the more passive role.
More than a kink
Unless being a male in submission is your particular kink, these subconscious associations, undoubtedly create a mental barrier between rationality and the wonders of prostate pleasure.
Since submission in sex is often associated with females, men will often shy away from putting themselves in this vulnerable position (just like the Romans!).
Prostate stimulation doesn’t have to be an act of submission either. You should just think of it as another form of masturbation.
Plus, there is such a thing as being a powerbottom, which implies that you can enjoy penetration without being submissive at all. Both men and women can be tops, it’s completely independent of what goes inside of them!
Plus, prostate stimulation comes with a host of sexual and health benefits!
The fact that some of us in today’s modern world share these ancient ideologies just goes to show that we definitely have some work to do.
So… is it gay?
No, actually it’s not. Nor will it turn you gay. Experiencing pleasure form a different and novel area of your body has nothing to do with sexuality.
Homosexual associations arise from the fact that penetrative anal sex is a common practice amongst gay males. Yet this argument holds no grounds. Just because a specific group practices anal sex does not mean that the practice is exclusively owned by the gay male community. Plus, you’d be surprised by the numbers of gay men who aren’t all that into receiving anal in the first place!
In order to completely abolish these stigmas and associations, it is important to make conscious efforts at changing the way we view and perceive sexual practices. The more we hold onto these absurd and outdated ways of thinking, the more men will miss out on the potential bliss that these orgasms can produce.!
Lelo, a popular luxury Swedish sex toy company concluded that 71% of their participants (targeting hetero men specifically) would be willing to give prostate play a shot! These numbers are outstandingly high given the generalized stigma that surrounds the practice.
From personal experience, after having asked many straight guys about their willingness to try prostate stimulation, the majority of males deny that the thought has ever even crossed their minds, let alone would they be willing to try it.
Although the numbers from this Swedish study seem promising, the accuracy of these results may be skewed by outside factors. Perhaps the anonymity of the census and the sexually forward and open mindset of the Swedes act as peripheral factors in favor of the equation. Needless to say, even though these numbers are on the higher side of the spectrum, the bottom line is that all heterosexual men should feel comfortable and open about exploring their own bodies, not only 71% of them.
Assuming the numbers from this Swedish survey were 100% accurate, that would still mean that there are still 29% of men are firm on their aversion to experimentation and are thus missing out on mind-blowing, intense prostate orgasms!
But hey, anal play is still not for everyone
If anal penetration is really just not your thing, yet you are open to the experience of prostate stimulation, luckily for you there are actual ways to achieve prostate orgasms without penetration!
If you are curious yet squeamish about putting something into your behind, perineum massages may be the answer. The perineum is the name given to the area of skin that lies between your anus and scrotum. It is an external part of your body, yet its distance to the prostate is mere inches away. That means that with proper pressure and with the right massage techniques, you may be on your way to stimulating your prostate externally!
Even if the full capacity of the prostate orgasm is not achieved, many men have admitted that the intensity of their orgasms drastically increases during perineal massages.
It may take time to determine the right amount of pressure needed and the particular spot that tickles your fancy, but with a little bit of practice, you should be on your way to better orgasms in no time.
If you’re feeling a bit more adventurous, there are some very small yet effective toys ( Aneros being the leader in that field ) that are also available to help you achieve this goal.
Plus, if you really don’t want to put anything inside of you, pressing a massage wand against your perineum can be quite exhilarating as well as they are usually powerful enough for the vibrations to reach your prostate!
Abolish the stigma
All this to say that whether we choose to abide by these stereotypes or not, these ideologies, unfortunately, have always existed and continue to exist all around us.
For many, chivalric tendencies still seem to dictate the “proper” way of how a man and a woman should have sex. It is our job as a modern society to break free from these constraints that sexually repress us.
Whether this practice is to your liking or not, the most important thing to take away from all this is that no stigmas should take away from the potential pleasure you could be experiencing. In order for this practice to be more widespread and acceptable, we as a modern society, need to do our part in dismantling the false association with prostate play.
Next time someone interjects with, “but that’s gay!” make sure to question them, and please enlighten those around you on the power of the prostate!