We've all seen the sketchy e-mails, ads, and articles with promises of a 12-inch dick quick along with hours of unending, mind-expanding sex that'll make them beg for more. And while it doesn't take a genius to realize that these modern snake oil salesmen are just trying cash in on male insecurity, desperation still leads a ton of men to take the bait.
Even worst is that a lot of these methods and products can be extremely detrimental to your health and could leave you worse off than you originally were.
Having worked in a sex shop for many years when I was younger, it quickly became clear how prevalent and destructive male insecurity can get. And it doesn't help that society keeps adding fuel to the fire.
But for the first time ever in the history of the internet, here's a no bull-shit guide to premature ejaculation, erectile dysfunction and penis enlargement! Now if you're looking for lies & unrealistic promises, please refer to any other source really. Otherwise, you're in for a treat since these methods have all been proven to work.
So let's get to it!
- 1 Treating Erectile Dysfunction ( ED )
- 1.1 It Might Just Be Psychological
- 1.2 The Psychological ED Fix
- 1.3 It Might be Physiological
- 1.4 The Physiological ED Fix
- 2 Treating Premature Ejaculation ( PE )
- 3 Tackling Penis Size
- 4 Closing notes
Treating Erectile Dysfunction ( ED )
Erectile Dysfunction can stem from many physiological and psychological issues.
As with most sexual problems, it can easily make you feel like less of a man, yet it is a completely natural and normal thing most men will experience in their lifetime.
Luckily whether it's caused by age, anxiety, depression, or is the result of prostate surgery, there are still plenty of solutions out there to get you erect again.
It Might Just Be Psychological
Chances are that, if you're a young healthy guy, ED might just be "in your head".
Now, what goes on with your brain can have dramatic effects on your physical condition, so it is still a very serious situation and should be treated as such. But the good news is that you're still able to naturally get erections, just not at the moment.
The truth is that there's an incredible amount of pressure put on a man's ability to achieve erections. If you don't get there, the person on the receiving end might think that they're unattractive, or even worst, question your sexuality and masculinity altogether.
It doesn't help that pop culture has painted men as simple sexual beings that should just get hard at the hint of a tit or butt cheek. But we're just like women, and our emotional state has a lot to do with our arousal. So it's perfectly normal to not be into it if we feel pressured or rushed. No matter if the pressure comes from yourself or a second party.
The Psychological ED Fix
The way to fix this kind of Erectile Dysfunction is really dependent on your current situation. But in most cases, it'll take some time.
Of course, the world doesn't stop turning when ED occurs, and you might want to get back into the game ASAP.
Thankfully all the methods found in the physiological section below will get you back and erect in no time, while you work on the psychological aspect of it. Just don't rely on and become dependent on these methods since you are perfectly capable of achieving natural erections on your own. Just see it like taking antidepressants while you work through the issues causing the depression.
Talk to your significant other
If you're feeling anxious, depressed or pressured, there is a lot to gain in opening up and explaining the situation to your SO. Keeping any kind of psychological issues to yourself can easily make things worse for you and others around you in the long run. Sometimes, just the act of opening up could relieve a ton of pressure you might put on yourself and fix the problem altogether!
Of course, if it is your partner putting the pressure on you and not showing any form of understanding when erectile dysfunction occurs, it could be the root of the problem as well. Sometimes it just takes one day where you're not into it and can't get it up for it to snowball into something chronic. Just being afraid of it happening again is enough to cause long term ED. So it sure doesn't help when your partner is pressuring you on top of it.
Laying off the pornography
This is a simple one. If you're abusing pornography, you could very well need so much stimulation to get you started that normal sexual interactions just aren't enough for you anymore. You could also have conditioned yourself into only feeling arousal while sitting in front of a device.
So for the sake of your relationships and yourself, it might be best you take a good break off the porn. And if you ever decide to come back to it, try to keep it to a strict minimum.
Work on your Anxiety and/or Depression
If you didn't know, depression and antidepressants can affect your libido in a bad way, and if it isn't in check, it could be at the root of your erectile dysfunction. If it's the case, it's always good to seek help and try to fix these issues first and foremost.
Before spending money on therapy, you should also consider some typical reasons why you might be depressed.
For optimal mental health, it's important for most human beings to socialize and interact with friends in person. Vitamin D is very important as well, so spend some time in the sun and/or take some supplements. Exercise, eating a proper diet, and sleep hygiene are other great natural ways of fighting depression.
You could also be depressed because you're simply stuck in a shitty situation, so working towards getting out of it should be your priority.
When it comes to anxiety, a lot of the methods mentioned above will help tremendously, but putting some focus on meditation and exercise is a great start.
CBD ( where legal ), GABA, and Lemon Balm are also some of the many supplements that can help you chill out.
It Might be Physiological
Now if you're getting older, had prostate surgery or if any of the psychological fixes mentioned earlier didn't do it for you, you might need to take a more mechanical approach to erectile dysfunction.
But as long as you still have a penis, this is far from being a death sentence and there's plenty to be done in order to get you back to pound town in no time.
The Physiological ED Fix
These methods will work for almost anyone, no matter what their disposition is.
Of course, the milder forms ( like kegels ) might not be enough for everyone, depending on the severity of the issue. But we still suggest you try these methods in the order mentioned.
Less is more, and depending on a quick fix is often more detrimental in the long run even if it means you'll be back in the game sooner than later.
Do your Kegels
This is a well-kept secret, but everyone should do their Kegels, erectile dysfunction or not, since it's a great way to prevent ED as you age.
Kegels are meant to strengthen your pelvic floor. Think of it like it's a natural cock ring muscle buried inside your body. So whether you're young, old, went through with prostatectomy, do your Kegels! It might be all you need to get you back in the game.
Get your Testosterone in Check
If you're under 40 and you've lost your morning wood, it might be the result of low T. So it is very important that you go seek medical help and get evaluated.
While there are many natural ways of boosting testosterone, ( Resistance training, quality sleep, supplementation, etc. ) when at a critical level, nothing beats a good old testosterone injection.
Get Familiar with Pumps and Cock Rings
Sometimes the issue is a lot more serious than just a weakened pelvic floor.
Enter this completely mechanical way of achieving erections: The cock ring and Pump duo!
You might know dick pumps for their claims of making the penis bigger, and while these claims are completely overblown, these devices work wonders at achieving artificial erections that'll last as long as you want them to. Heck, they're even prescribed by doctors in some cases. Even though they might describe these tools with fancy medical terms like Vacuum Erection Devices (VED) and flexible tension rings, they're essentially the same damned thing.
An added bonus for those who had a prostatectomy is that regular use will counteract the shrinkage of the penis that might occur following the operation.
All you have to do is put a good cock ring around the tube of the penis pump. Insert your penis and pump away until you achieve a full erection. Then slide the cock ring off the pump and onto the base of the penis ( or all the way behind the testicles ) and it should keep your erection that way until you remove the ring.
To avoid any issues, make sure not to over pump and don't keep the cock ring on longer than 30 minutes at a time.
For this purpose, any basic pump will do but it never hurts to invest in something a little better like the water-powered Bathmate pumps.
Especially since, when used in conjunction with warm water, they're much less uncomfortable than your standard pump. It also helps that they're much more durable than most other models, so you won't have to consistently reinvest in parts or new models as they break down.
If all else fail, There's a pill for that.
But if you need some serious help, Viagra & Cialis are definitely the way to go.
Now, I know a lot of men are too embarrassed to bring it up to their physicians. If it's the case for you, you might want to look into Forhims. They basically sell the exact same thing you would get prescribed by your doctors but off the web. It's entirely legal and you'll get a free online consultation with a physician with your order.
Isn't the age of the internet a beautiful time to live in?
Treating Premature Ejaculation ( PE )
Premature Ejaculation is another issue men are faced with which adds to the overall pressure that is put on us during sex. After all, If a woman comes quick, everyone's happy, but if a man does, it's a completely different story, especially in a more "traditional" sexual dynamic.
Before we deal with PE itself, I think it's important to understand that vaginas and butts can only take so much friction.
According to a study by the Journal of Sexual Medicine, sex therapists pointed out that adequate sessions should last about 3 to 7 minutes. On the other hand, the optimal length would be around 7-13 minutes. Anything shorter ( 1 - 2 minutes ) would be underwhelming to most and anything longer ( 13 minutes + ) would start becoming uncomfortable to almost anyone on the receiving end.
What we can learn from this is that, once more, we've been lied to. Almost no one would want you to last for hours on end and just like with most things in life, less is more.
With the satisfaction zone being anywhere between 3 to 13 minutes, chances are you aren't even suffering from Premature Ejaculation at all.
In any case, your philosophy should just be that both of your needs should be met.
Even if it means that you have to focus a bit more on foreplay or go for a second round for them to get there.
The Premature Ejaculation Fix
PE is still a problem to a considerable amount of men. Some might even argue that it is the most common sexual disorder amongst men.
Of course, there's an argument to be made that PE is more of a human feature than a disorder since ejaculating fast was the safest way to ensure procreation when we were vulnerable to predators and the harsh realities our ancestors had to face. But like many evolutionary traits that we've acquired in our tumultuous past, in modern society, this has become more of a hindrance.
So if you can only last under 3 minutes or simply wish to have more control and last a little longer than you already can, there are still plenty of solutions available to you.
Practice makes perfect
The big issue for a lot of men is that masturbation trains us to get to the orgasm as fast as possible. Thankfully, one of the best methods to counteract this is to practice edging.
Edging basically means getting right before the point of orgasm and stopping before ejaculation occurs. When you feel ready to go back to it, you repeat the process as much as you can/want.
It's also important not to rush towards the edge. Take it slow and don't overstimulate yourself. The goal here is to reprogram yourself and undo the habit of trying to reach orgasm as soon as possible.
You can actually approach sex this way, giving yourself a break when you're about to climax and alternating between penetration and foreplay. But the best part about edging is that once you actually let yourself orgasm, it tends to be even more intense than if you just went straight to it in the first place.
As an added bonus, this also can work both ways: If you really want to drive your partners crazy, do it to them! Bring them close to orgasm and stop and repeat until they're begging for it. Just watch out for the fireworks once you're done denying their orgasms.
If you want to make practice even more difficult, I'd suggest getting a decent masturbator.
They simulate actual penetration way better than traditional masturbation, so they're much more challenging.
There even are some dedicated devices like the Fleshlight Stamina training unit that'll really push you to your limit.
And while not entirely necessary, couple it with the Fleshlight Launch ( which essentially does all the stroking for you ) and you've got yourself a pretty solid premature ejaculation training kit.
Get your anxiety in check
Just like we discussed in the erectile dysfunction section, anxiety could have the exact opposite effect and cause you to pop before you're due.
Like before, this could be because of pressures you or your partner are putting on yourself. If it's the case, it's always a good idea to talk about it with your significant other since opening up could be the only thing needed to fix it. But if talking isn't enough, learning to meditate is always a good idea.
Another great way to reduce anxiety which is also very popular as a Premature Ejaculation aid is to practice deep breathing before and during intercourse.
This method essentially consists of breathing in through your nose for about 5 seconds and making sure you're breathing in a way that your belly ( not your chest ) expands. Hold your breath for a second or two and exhale for 5 seconds through your mouth. Pursing your lips as if you were whistling or drinking through a straw as you exhale will ensure that you're not breathing out too fast. As you breathe out, gently pull your stomach in as you relax all your other muscles. Hold for 1 or 2 seconds and repeat.
And if all else fail, getting in touch with a sex therapist to help you deal with your performance anxiety is also a pretty good idea.
Learn to do Reverse Kegels
Remember when we said that Kegels were a great way to strengthen your pelvic floor?
Well, they're also your worst enemy when it comes to premature ejaculation. Confusing right?
The reason behind this is because when we ejaculate, we naturally contract our PC muscles. So doing Kegels during sex is a great way to add stimulation and achieve more intense orgasms, which is the last thing you should do if you're already feeling overstimulated.
To make matters even worst, overtrained PC muscles could also be at the root of your problem.
There's are a lot of misguided tips on the web suggesting to kegel as hard as possible to prevent ejaculation when you're reaching the point of no return, which might have lead you to completely worsen your situation. But they weren't entirely far from the truth. What you really need to do is the exact opposite: a Reverse Kegel.
And while a balanced training regimen for male sexual health should include both practices, if you're suffering from premature ejaculation, I'd focus mostly on the Reverse Kegel.
Get a cock ring
This is more of a band-aid than a complete fix, but with the right cock ring, you should be able to maintain your erection even after ejaculation.
So if you're looking for a quick solution while you figure out your situation, this is a pretty good way to go. Just don't rely on them completely and never wear them for more than 30 minutes at a time to avoid any problems.
Medication for premature ejaculation
In the realm of the band-aid solutions, Sertraline ( the active ingredient in Zoloft ) is also known to help with premature ejaculation.
Of course, you will need a doctor that is willing to cooperate or go through some sketchier avenues to get your meds. Which is definitely not recommended since you never know what you'll end up with.
So if you want to save yourself the embarrassment or refusal from a closed minded practitioner, I'd suggest you check out Forhims. It's legal, done entirely online and comes with a free online consultation with a doctor.
It might be caused by untreated health issues
If you suffer from premature ejaculation, it might also be the symptom of some pretty serious health issues like uncontrolled diabetes or worsening cardiovascular disease. So please make sure you consult with a doctor.
Just say it's in the family if you're too embarrassed to mention the erectile dysfunction.
Your health is serious business so, please, don't let these issues drag!
Tackling Penis Size
Here comes the big one. ( wink, wink )
First of all, one thing I learned while working in a sex shop for a few years is how insecure men are about their penis size. Ironically, I've also learned what most women and men buy when looking for a dildo or a butt plug.
The good news is that the most popular sizes are usually completely average. 4 to 6 inches to be more precise.
Which makes a ton of sense considering vaginas and dicks have evolved in unison. And butt holes are... well... even pickier than something meant to push out a baby if needed.
Larger penises either just scare most people off and/or require a lot of work and attention to make it work. So a lot of folks don't even bother.
So excuse me if I'm starting to sound like a broken record, but yet again, men have been lied to! Which should be great news to a lot of guys.
So if you're anywhere between 4 to 6 inches, which represents most of us, you shouldn't worry about penis enlargement at all.
How to enlarge your penis
Of course, not everybody is blessed with an average penis. ( Which is what most people want, remember? ) And while there are plenty of particularly snug men and women looking for the below-average stuff as well (along with some size queens looking for the big stuff), one might still want to enhance their God-given dicks.
I'm also convinced a lot of average men still won't accept what was just discussed above and still will want to push the limits of their anatomy. After all, we naturally seek to physically "improve" ourselves, may it be through working out, dieting, or any other means really.
Working with what you got
There are a lot of ways you can make the best of what you've been given.
First of all, the quality of your erections makes a huge difference in penis size. This is why sometimes we're surprised by our own size on a good day.
So how do we have more good days? Well, as we discussed in the erectile dysfunction section, Kegels are a great place to start, since they give us stronger, fuller erections. And a strong erection can easily add up to half an inch to your bishop, so it shouldn't be ignored.
Kegels are also a great way to keep the quality of your erections as you age. Absolutely everyone should be doing them, no matter what their disposition is.
Another thing you should try before considering more aggressive methods of penile enhancement is to give your Johnson as much room to shine as possible.
Losing some weight will trim off pubic fat, unearthing inches you didn't even know you had. Throw in a pubic hair trim for good measure and all your manhood should come out of hiding once and for all.
While pumping will artificially give you fuller erections, and can even give you some gains in size ( mostly in girth, not so much in length ) the results are almost always temporary and you will revert right back to where you were not long after. So keeping your gains will require constant maintenance, just like working out.
While most pumps will work for this purpose, we're big fans of the Bathmate pumps, since they can be used in conjunction with warm water, to help the tissues relax and expand, which also helps with preventing injuries.
There are even a few folks online who claim that they've managed to get some permanent gains with Bathmate products after extensive and prolonged use.
If you do decide to go that route, try to avoid these 2 common rookie mistakes in order to prevent injury:
- Pain means stop. Pushing through it will almost definitely result in injury that could render your penis completely useless. So chill out, a working penis is better than a big, dead, black & blue shlong.
- Release pressure through the valve before removing your pump, this will save you a lot of exploded blood vessels.
Like all forms of exercise, just don't overdo if you want your soldier to live to fight another day.
Jelqing & Clamping
There's a whole community of men practicing manual exercises ( P.E. ) to extend and enlarge their penis with a lot of members claiming that they've had some serious permanent gains.
While I wouldn't vouch for these methods, there are so many testimonials and success stories in these communities that there must be something to it.
While there are tons of variations in P.E., it essentially boils down to two major techniques: Jelqing and Clamping.
Jelqing (nsfw) exercises can potentially give your penis extra length. On the other hand, clamping helps with gaining additional girth.
Just like pumping, it's easy to overdo it. So make sure you stop at the first sign of pain.
And It's also important to remember that most of the evidence available is anecdotal at best and a lot of these exercises require a ton of involvement and work. So you might be better off focusing on other methods unless you're really serious about penis enlargement.
Penis enlargement pills
I'll be blunt, the pills you will find plastered with claims of penis enlargement are all bullshit. Think about it, if there was a magic pill for penis size, anyone on the receiving end would get hospitalized overnight.
But remember when I mentioned that better erections result in a bigger penis?
Well, there are pills & supplements that can help with that. So refer back to the erectile dysfunction section above for more info on the good stuff!
Even though most of it is based on misconceptions and the lies society and pornography tell us, male insecurity is still a very real problem. And it's often at the source of a lot of penis health issues.
This means that most of these issues can be tackled with a bit of a change in perspective, exercises and maybe some therapy.
Of course, some of these problems might be caused by very real physical impairments, but with all of the tips and tools above, almost anyone should be well equipped to make these niggling issues a thing of the past.
With this out of the way, focusing on loving one another instead of worrying about whether your junk will co-operate ( or be enough ) should be much easier. And a world with more love and a little less worry is definitely a world I want to be part of!