I first heard about sex magic (sometimes spelled with a k to distinguish between real magic and fairy tale, fictional magic) from my first book on witchcraft, Witchcraft A Beginner’s Guide by Teresa Moorey. I think I was 12. I remember seeing the chapter on sex magic and being powerfully excited to read it. I read those pages like a Playboy; I was intensely nervous about my parents or sisters walking in and catching me reading about sex.
It remains my favorite go-to book on all things magic and was a much better guide to sex than any other sources of sex information I had access to as a kid in the 90s. Since I first read it, I have been keen to try sex magic myself and am always fascinated when I come across it in books and online.
Here’s a little quick start guide to help you on your sexy spiritual path.
What is Sex Magic?
Sex magic is a broad term that has been interpreted in different ways across different esoteric disciplines. What is meant by ‘magic’ is the same as what is commonly referred to as manifestation. Using the same mental tools that make the placebo effect so powerful, you can guide your unconscious actions toward a desired outcome.
Making magic requires a great deal of energy, and sex is a phenomenal power source! By focusing your intentions and harnessing that power, your magic can become supercharged and much more effective.
While rituals vary widely in the details, almost as widely as the desired outcomes, the use of ritual is an important element. Rituals help us bring our minds into the right state of consciousness for magic. Sure, you might be able to get there without ritual, but it requires a lot of expertise and experience to get to that level. Rituals often start well before the actual sex and can be incorporated at every stage of the process leading up to that powerful release.
Sex magic can also encompass the ‘Dreamtime’ after orgasm. This time is powerful in its own way and you may find your mind popping up with surprising solutions to problems, or ideas and breakthroughs if used intentionally.
Where did it all start?
We don’t know. Wikipedia credits Paschal Beverly Randolph as the first Western source of sex magic, but sex magic has been practiced in one way or another from all the way back to ancient times. Paschal was the son of a slave woman and a wealthy white man. I suspect his mother was the source of his sex magic knowledge, and that her source came from Africa.
Pre-colonial Africa has a fair few examples of sex magic. Kuru warriors would jizz into the spear-pierced earth while thinking about the animal they wanted to hunt so that the pregnant earth would deliver them with food. Other African groups felt that sex was a pathway to liberation.
Eastern scriptures like the tantra, yoga, and the Kama sutras talk about sex openly and often come to mind when we think about mystical sexual experiences. The sutras describe using the body to achieve higher states of consciousness that open up superpower-like abilities. It’s possible these traditions may have influenced one another or even had a common source, but it’s hard to say what came first.
Paschal wrote about sex magic and then Russian occultist, Maria de Naglowska, translated his work into French and popularized his work in Europe. Alistair Crowley was also a major figure around this time and published many books on sex magick (he’s the one that brought in the k), becoming probably the most influential figure in sex magick. In the century since these figures were influential, countless people have written about sex magic in their own way across many disciplines.
Do I need a partner?
No! In fact, many people, myself included, recommend you master this technique with yourself first before you try to join forces with another person or multiple people. You’re working with powerful energies and real emotions. Magic is an intensely personal and meaningful pursuit and you don’t share that with just anybody. You also might not be aware of how you will affect others in pursuing sex magic with them, so caution is recommended.
Masturbation can be a powerful route to manifestation and mastering it will likely take time. Heck, many people have a hard enough time masturbating at all, let alone for magical purposes. If you have blockages to work through, work on that before attempting to affect the physical and spiritual world with your sexual power.
Once you’ve successfully manifested your desires on your own, you may want to venture out into manifesting with a partner or a group. If you do, make sure that you’re on the same page with anyone who is doing this with you. There are a lot more challenges to overcome when coordinating multiple people to achieve a singular goal while in the throws of sexual ecstasy. Don’t take this warning lightly.
So, all I have to do is orgasm?
No. Sex magic is about building energy, directing your focus, and then using that energy to support your efforts. You still have to do the work, at least some work. The universe will do a lot of the heavy lifting if you’re willing to do what you can control. That doesn’t mean you can just lay back and expect all your dreams to come true.
This is a big misconception about magic in general, not just sex magic. Spells aren’t a means to avoid doing work. If you’re not willing to show the universe that you’re serious by acting on your desires, why should the heavens and earth move to support you?
However, let’s say you want a job. You might take time to imagine the kind of job you want. How much it pays, what industry it’s in, what sort of hours you’ll work. It has to be realistic enough that you can believe it’s possible to attain. If your desires are so far out of reach that you don’t believe you could possibly reach them, magic won’t help you. But if you imagine something that seems possible, focus your intention through sex magic and then use that energy to mobilize yourself into applying for jobs or going out and meeting with people. You might be surprised at how much more effective these efforts become.
Prepare your sacred space
Magic is a spiritual practice. Like any sacred ritual, preparing your space and tools is essential. Think about what it is you want to achieve. Does your space reflect your desires? Cleaning your space is a great place to start, though creative mess can have its place as well sometimes. Trust yourself in this process. What speaks to you?
Color can have a strong impact on manifestation. If you want to bring prosperity, green, and gold can help direct your mind and spirit to that end. Yellow can signify joy and optimism, blue can help with healing.
However, this is really about symbolism and these associations can vary from culture to culture and from person to person, so use your own judgment about what associations you have with your desired outcome. Expand your associations to items and art, even clothing and textiles. Some go deep into symbology and even create their own sigils/symbols.
Sound and lighting are also very effective tools to bring you into the right frame of mind. Choose music that turns you on, or helps you access the right emotional landscape to reach your goal. Soft lighting is often helpful, as are candles, but you might also really benefit from early morning sunlight or complete darkness. There are no rules. Setting your space is about guiding your intention, so whatever helps you get into the right headspace is what you should do.
Focus your desires
The trickiest part of sex magic, I think, is staying focused on what you want to accomplish. It’s easy for the mind to wander, especially while getting closer to orgasm. Try to keep your mind on imagining exactly what you want. Make your fantasy as vivid as possible. Imagine how it feels, how it smells, how it tastes.
As you reach your climax, you should have a very clear idea of what you want. That’s the wish you are sending out into the universe, so make it count. When it comes, allow yourself to really feel your orgasm completely. Don’t stifle yourself in any way. If you’re concerned about neighbors hearing you moan, maybe turn up the volume on your music. Whatever you need to do to let yourself fully dive into the waves of orgasmic bliss.
In the time afterward, it might be helpful to plan your next steps of action. You may receive insights that will help you achieve your goal. However, if you use this time, know that it is also very potent and worth using.
Magic is what you make it
Yes, there are many books that all claim to have the perfect way to manifest through sex, but there are many options and one you choose yourself is just as likely as any other to be effective. I would wager, a self-made ritual is more potent because you have dedicated the time, thought, and attention to developing it. All that focus helps and ensures that your ritual is tailored to you and your desires.
There are different details depending on the source, but ultimately, you want to devote time leading up to orgasm in picturing and defining what it is that you want to manifest. This lead-up time varies from immediately before orgasm, to days or even weeks before your sexy, magic ritual. It is thought by many that the longer you abstain from sex and work on that build-up, the more powerful your ultimate release and manifestation will become.
Remember that you are a powerful being. Also, remember that with power comes responsibility. Abuse of power isn’t sexy, so stick to desires that don’t negatively impact others. Focus on what you want, and then rub that magic lamp!