Wine and cheese. Wine and painting. Wine and chocolate. Sure, wine is delicious but why must wine get all the fun pairings? The post 2020 world is one where cannabis seems to reign supreme, so let’s pair weed with our other isolation saviors… sex toys.
So, are you a sexpert but a weed newbie? Buckle in, tune off, switch on and dig in to our Weed + Sex Toy pairings.
So what is weed?
What is weed? Wait, are you a cop? Oh, just new? Okay, phew.
Weed is a fun name used to refer to cannabis, a plant that causes various usually pleasurable effects on our bodies when consumed in some form. Whether it be from smoking a joint, vaping with a slick gadget, or eating one too many cannabis cookies, weed’s reputation as a popular intoxicant has been cemented.
Pssst. You know how the typical “stoned” effects include feeling giggly, having the munchies, or being more relaxed? Weed seems to also turn people on. Research isn’t clear on why just yet, but since the sexually liberated hippies of the 60s, pot’s reputation for making people horny is renowned. It can help people feel increased levels of intimacy, more in-tune with sensations, or less anxiety around trying more kinky forms of play!
Wine gets all the glory and luxury. Let’s change that!
But first… let’s quickly cover some weed basics!
Weed 101: The Class You Wished You Had
Due to decades of cannabis prohibition, common stoner mythology had to fill in the gaps in our scientific knowledge, and we ended up passing on some “general rules” as “Richard Dawkins Approved Facts”. A good example of this is the prevalent idea that indicas are calming, and sativas will clear your head. That’s not necessarily true! Many new cannabis users will find themselves buying a reputable indica for a cozy night at home, then be stuck in a panic prison for thirty excruciating minutes as they try to remember how to order pizza. Regardless, the cannabis industry is still divided between “indicas”, “sativas”, and “hybrids”, so the myth continues to live! It can still be helpful to comb out what kind of effects you’re seeking by directing yourself to one of three categories.
Popular strains: Granddaddy Purple, Northern Lights, and Ice-cream Cake As a whole, popular opinion dictates that indicas are the “nighttime strains”. That’s not entirely true, but can be helpful as a guide to help predict what effects certain strains will have on us. Indicas are seen as relaxing and soothing on the body, sometimes so soothing people report these strains curing their insomnia. Indica strains might be better suited for intimate late nights with a lover (or two), where you can immediately doze off after.
Popular strains: Sour Diesel, Maui Wowie, and Jack Herer
Sativas are strains that are usually noted for being suitable for daytime, but careful! With their cerebral highs and boosts of energy, you could be strapping yourself into a wild ride with lots of excitement (or anxiety).
Most people recommend sativas for increasing creativity, energy, or mood. These strains can be the catalyst for people to have a fun giggly night together, just before tossing their inhibitions (and underwear) to the wind.
Popular strains: OG Kush, GSC (Girl Scout Cookies), and Pineapple Express
These are popular strains for a reason. Hybrids blend together the relaxing body highs of the indicas with the zingy bursts of cerebral high from the sativas for a truly customized session.
In my opinion, hybrids are perfect strains for a date! A good hybrid won’t be so stimulating that you’ll feel even more date-related nerves than usual, but not totally zombify you either.
THC vs CBD vs Terpenes
People have been bamboozled. Cannabis users have been swayed to care only about THC and CBD percentages, when terpenes are equally as important to the entire experience.
THC is the component in cannabis that provides the exciting, thrilling effect on the mind. It can determine how potent a strain is, but not necessarily how well you’ll tolerate it. CBD is the other famous chemical that provides more medicinal benefits, as it can reduce inflammation and anxiety on a prescription level.
So what makes one strain different from the other, if they both have the same level of THC and CBD? Terpenes!
Terpenes are the little molecules that provide flavor and definition to your experience of that strain, and they’re not just found in cannabis. Terpenes are everywhere, from fruit (myrcene) to citrus (limonene) or pepper (caryophyllene). While terpenes are still in their early stages of being researched, they’re already a promising area of exploration.
Imagine it almost like aromatherapy built into weed. You might select a strain for it’s savory sweet scent, or because you want to reap the anti-inflammatory benefits of caryophyllene.
On The Menu:
Blue Dream + Nova Rabbit
Green Crack + Womanizer
Gelato + Gape Keeper
Sour Diesel + Doxie Die Cast
Blue Dream + We Vibe Nova 2
Excellent for: a night of ‘90s movies, pizza, and sweet solo time
This is a well rounded hybrid strain, noted for its pungent and sweet scent. It tastes extremely fruity, due to myrcene being the dominant terpene. (Fun fact: myrcene is actually the dominant terpene in mangos!)
This is a classic strain from the 1990s, and a popular choice! It provides full body relaxation, while also giving euphoric feelings, and a creative state. For me, Blue Dream is the epitome of typical ‘90s stoner buds on the couch, giggling while fiercely competing in Mario Kart 64.
For that reason, I’m pairing Blue Dream with something equally as fun and 90s: a rabbit vibe. Not just any rabbit vibe either! Gone are the cheap jelly rabbits of the past which were unsanitary, and fit poorly. Instead, let’s update the rabbit vibe with We-Vibe’s Nova.
The Nova is an absolutely phenomenal toy that scores high on every aspect. This to is made to thrill from the gorgeous sleek design, rumbly vibrations, and the bendable “rabbit” arm meant to apply pressure against the deeper areas of the clitoris.
The deep pressure from the vibration paired with the intense relaxation from the Blue Dream makes this a rad combination.
Green Crack/Green Cush + Womanizer
Excellent for: Riverdale worthy exciting hookups with your new crush Weed names have famously bad names, and Green Crack might be one of the most notorious ones. It’s such an unpopular name that many legal markets have seen it being sold under “Green Cush” to keep anti-cannabis eyebrows from rising into the stratosphere. GC is a boosted, cerebral, superpowered high. This is an ideal strain for the daytime, and will make you feel like you’re at the top of your physical peak. It exudes feelings of confidence and euphoria, often modifying your experience of time as well. This euphoric, time-warping energy pairs well with the Womanizer, a toy that also suffers from an equally bad brand name. It manages to keep up the pace with GC’s energy and euphoria, allowing for all that easy energy to be channeled towards non stop pleasure and orgasms.
Gelato + Gape Keeper 55
Excellent for: butt stuff This strain has become extremely popular lately, and there’s no doubt why. Gelato is a deliciously named strain with an equally tasty terpene profile (caryophyllene being the dominant one), and provides a lot of body relaxing effects while the mind is lifted. It smells peppery, rich, with notes of citrus, soothing yet different. This strain is more relaxing and enveloping than many, and pairs well with the Gape Keeper from Topped Toys. While the toy’s name isn’t quite as delicious as Gelato’s, this toy is a decadent pleasure and deserves slow appreciation. The Gape Keeper 55 is the smallest toy the company offers, but don’t get nervous! This toy is possibly the softest silicone I’ve ever squeezed in my life. Gelato can help you feel more relaxed to try taking a slightly larger toy ( looking for something smaller but just as squishy? check out the Egg & Ergo plugs ), while also being extremely receptive to different sensations.
Sour Diesel + Die Cast Doxy Wand
Excellent for: group sex with your social bubble
Sour Diesel is one of the most popular strains that came out of the 1990s bud boom. It’s a potent sativa with an unmistakable gasoline-like smell that will energize you in a knife-sharp way. For many people, this is the wonder strain: it helps depression, boosts libido, and soothes pain. This strain is an absolute wild ride from start to finish, leaving you strapped in and aware the entire time. Nothing, in my mind, matches the energy of the legendary Sour Diesel quite like the equally famous magic wand toys can! But not just any magic wand… the die cast Doxy wand. Where do we start with the Doxy wand? The power of this magic wand is unrivaled. It is strong, with a comfortable head that applies the perfect amount of pressure due to its die cast body. This, much like Sour Diesel, is a toy for the connoisseurs in your group. Anyone else might be blown away from the sheer meteor force of Sour Diesel and the Doxy combined.
Remember the Rules
If you decide to pair weed with sex, remember to play as safely as possible. If you know you have issues with weed, you have my full permission to read this article, be nostalgic and assess if that’s something you want to enjoy at this moment.
Ultimately, as someone with anxiety and physical pain issues, I enjoy pairing my sex life to weed. It helps me remain present in the current moment, and until my off/on meditation begins to pay off… weed is definitely a wonderful sensual lubricant.