For our review of the best clit/trans masc pumps, head on over to the dedicated pump article!
I remember the first time I saw a penis pump.
I was a kid, and my family was watching Austin Powers. There’s a whole scene where the titular character, Austin Powers, is unfrozen from cryogenesis and collects his personal items from a guard.
With each and every item, the guard says aloud what it is: one frilly shirt, one groovy record, one penis pump. Over and over, Austin vehemently denies that it’s his penis pump, to great comedic effect.
For a long time, I prescribed myself to society’s views on pumps: they’re for cis men with medical needs and should be kept private. Or pumps are seen as a cis man’s desperate attempt at increasing his size, likely after hearing about it online (maybe in a spam email).
If that’s your experience around pumps, I’m here to shake up that established though. Maybe you’re here out of curiosity, but I promise you: you’ll leave this article either educated or entertained! (Not both, though, sorry.)
Hey, hi. I clicked this article by accident but I want to be polite. What is pumping?
Right off the bat, I’m going to let our #allies know a little secret: pumping is absolutely not just a trans thing. Seriously.
Cis women can also use pumps and often have the most selection available. (Though, for the record, pumping is a really important body tool in many queer and trans spaces!)
Pumping, specifically clitoral pumping in this context, is the act of applying a kind of cylinder to your clitoris and applying suction with a pump to cause it to swell.
Now that I’ve described it so terribly, let me quickly explain more! Pumping basically causes whatever part of your body to have an increase in blood flow, which can cause those tissues to be–ahem, engorged.
As you may have guessed, certain tissues become “hard” when engorged with blood… like the penis or clitoris which in turn increases sensitivity!. (Fun fact: both are made of similar structures and erectile tissue!) If you haven’t already read the Good Book (Come As You Are) when aroused, people with vulvas also experience boners but just clitoral ones.
For AFAB people taking testosterone, it can cause the clitoris to change but basically, it becomes bigger. How much bigger depends on the genetic lottery, largely, but!
Some trans and nonbinary people swear by pumping as a tool to get those (dick) gains.
Why do people pump?
Gender affirmation and sexual enhancement are probably the two biggest reasons why people use pumps.
However, it can be more than just a dysphoria and/or sex-enriching tool!
It can also be a kink thing.
Are you into medical play? If not, pretend for a moment that you are:
Okay, we’re setting the scene: there’s a sexy doctor helping you out in the sexy private hospital (for your privates). You’re all like, “Oh no Doctor Smolders, my clit fainted”.
Of course, it happens all the time.
The doctor, who looks alarmingly like Michael Cera (but a centaur), tells you he needs to give your clit oxygen stat.
Bam, he busts out an LA Pumps signature bronze pump (with a pressure gauge) and you’re thinking, “Wow this guy really knows his stuff, this pump is just made for a really realistic medical fantasy, hot dog!”.
Best night of your life.
Ok, so maybe that’s not your fantasy but I’m sure you can come up with a way to work it into yours! The point is, pumps don’t have to be this embarrassing shameful secret we do privately. If you really enjoy the experience and sensation of pumping, introduce it to your partnered play, you have my permission.
Just a huge warning: do not try partnered pumping unless you’ve had some significant experience with it… alone! It’s so easy to accidentally hurt yourself if you’re not extremely familiar with both the pump and your body’s tolerance. (We’ll address the risks later on!)
Pumping can be a tool to help people work around body or health issues.
Some people have issues with sensitivity, others struggle to stay physically aroused due to medications or medical conditions, and some just need a little help.
For many people, pumping is not a sexual thing but more of a “preparation” for sex.
Many trans men find that being able to pump before being touched sexually feels more dysphoria-reducing.
What should I look for in a pump?
Research the absolute heck out of your pump before you buy one! At the moment, this is a product where a higher price seems to correspond with a higher quality product.
You want to make sure the cylinders are of good quality. Check to see if the lip around the hole is too big for your particular anatomy; it’s going to fit around your clitoral glans but likely between your outer labia. If you get a cylinder with too much of a lip for your particular body, it’ll just pop off.
As a kid, have you ever sucked the air out of a plastic bottle and gotten your lips stuck in it? If so, it’s freaky right?! Now imagine this but with your t-dick. STUFF OF NIGHTMARES, I KNOW! This is why you will always want to have a pressure-release valve for your pumps. It’s a little button or pin that, when pressed, releases all the force so the suction disappears. It’s vital, especially for those new to the ways of the pump.
Before we start
Do you have a good pump?
Here at Tabooless, we’ve got an entire article devoted to testing out a whole range of pumps from affordable and good to avoidable and cheap. If you’re in a rush, there are a few I’d recommend!
If affordability is your concern, check out NYTC’s line of pumps. They have three “tiers” of pumps (though no tier skips out on quality), and even have a pump that’s entirely electric.
If you’re able to spend more, the fantastic folks at LA Pumps make a really top-tier product. I appreciate how sturdy their cylinder is, as well as the pressure gauge on the top of the pump. It’s like pumpin’ gas but for your dick.
Yee haw! (Wait, shit that’s a cowboy. Uh, vroom vroom!)
Do you have good lube?
Lube! You can’t avoid it. I mean, More lube! Is essentially the safer sex evangelist cry. What did you expect? That I’d write an article completely avoiding the best sex tool ever?
Lube is vital for this kind of operation, folks. A good lube can help the cylinder fit better, offering a more powerful experience.
My personal recommendation is for a water-based lube, though some people might find something like a vulva-safe oil-based lube is the go-to.
Make sure the lube is also safe to be on your vulva. Phallophile Reviews has an incredible article on pH levels of lubricants. Do yourself a favor and check it out if you want to learn more.
Now that you have the lube of your liking, use it! Sure your cylinder might fit great without lube, but lube largely prevents bruising.
Let me say that again: bruising. BRUISING. On your junk!
Be careful! Bruising on your junk!
If you’re an older millennial like me, you might remember being horrified at an early viral challenge: the Kylie challenge. Teens everywhere were using small glasses on their lips, creating suction that would plump them to outrageous levels.
It became newsworthy, however, after dozens of people started reporting painful and hospital-worthy “side effects” of the suction cup lip enhancement. People experienced bruising that lasted for days or weeks! The bruises went from the mild to the extreme, and experts reported tissue and nerve damage in some of the worst cases.
So you can see what I’m getting at, right? You want to be extremely careful about pumping.
Listen to your body. If something is hurting you, stop! It’s better for you to take a few days to build up a tolerance to normal sensations than for you to push your t-dick or clitoris.
This is also one of the reasons why I stressed the importance of a pressure-release valve.
If you suddenly experience pain, it’s vital for you to be able to just press the “STOP!” button and remove the cylinder quickly without more tugging.
Ok, I’ve got lube and a pump… now what?
You’re ready!
- First thing, lube up your anatomy. You want it to be slip’n’slide-y to prevent bruising, or else you’re going to have a baaaad time, buddy.
- Next, apply the cylinder to your body. You might need to adjust a bit, but it’s easier to adjust now before you get all your blood pumping in the wrong places.
- Now just pump away!
Every single body is different, so take a few moments to feel out while you fill out. Is it pinching you? Are you enjoying it? Are you loathing it?
A huge rule for me is to go in short bursts; don’t pump for hours the first time!
Do reps of a minute or two, and work your way up. Eventually, you might be able to leave it on for 5-10 minutes while you get yourself ready or cook dinner, but don’t be a hero!
What to do when you pump too much?
Oops! You fucked around and found out, it’s ok. It happens to all of us!
I’m not a medical professional, so if you truly are experiencing some bruising or trauma that is cause for concern, seek medical attention. It’s better to be safe!
Otherwise, what I do is apply cold water. If you have a cool compress, that’s good too but make sure it isn’t frozen. (Wet genitals + freezing compress = yowza ouch ouch.) Your bruise will heal on its own, but be careful. Don’t jump back on the suction train until you’re completely healed up!
In Conclusion
So there it is folks, everything you need to know about how trans & clitoral pumping works while not making a mess of it! Just remember to take it slow, listen to your body for any signs of pain, and you should have a long pumping life ahead of you!
I’m curious: For everyone out there, is pumping a feature of your self-care routine, or are you squicked out at the thought of a possible pumping accident?