It’s that time of year again, when we stock up on hot chocolate and watch endless Christmas movies from beneath big blankets.
The classics like Home Alone, The Grinch and The Muppets’ Christmas Carol are great, but it’s always nice to get some fresh titles in the mix. This year, I came across one I hadn’t seen before: Hot Frosty.
It sounds like a drink that would fuck you up. Or a weird sex move. But the reality is somehow weirder than either of those things. Hot Frosty was released last year, but is bound to become a cult classic. A snowman made to look like a nude bodybuilder comes to life with the help of a magic scarf. His sexy body garners plenty of attention when he comes to life, streaking across town.
This film is surprisingly self-aware and absolutely ridiculous in the best way.
Let’s dive into why Hot Frosty should be at the top of your watch list.
Hallmark hilarity
We’re all familiar with Hallmark holiday movies. They’re predictable, cheesy and heartwarming. Usually set in small towns, these films often feature a return to small-town values with love-conquers-all plots.
The filmmakers are well-versed in the genre and play with its tropes — they even feature a fair number of Canadian actors and filmed it mostly in Ontario, for maximum Hallmark authenticity. The simple romance storyline is simplified even further because he’s only just come to life. This seems to endow him with zero resistance to expressing a particularly wholesome kind of love.
Despite the name and sexual undertones, Hot Frosty is surprisingly family-friendly. It objectifies the male body, but in fairly mild ways. If you’ve got little ones, there isn’t too much to worry about them seeing, though a more thorough parental review can be found here.
Only eyes for you
The major relationship fantasy in this story really plays off the desire to have someone love you, and ONLY you. This snowman, later known as Jack (a nod to Jack Frost), comes to life seemingly only to make Kathy, the female lead, happy. Right from the beginning, he loves her and says so as if he’s been imprinted on her like a baby duck. He has never loved anyone besides her, and certainly never had any opportunity to date anyone else. He has no relationship history, no experience, and no baggage.
Though the whole town has the hots for Jack, he seems to be charmingly unaware of this and strikingly pure of heart. His love for Kathy is similarly wholesome. She gave him life, and he is eternally grateful (mildly Oedipal in nature). He encourages Kathy to love herself and revels in performing acts of service for her.
Who doesn’t want at least a taste of this type of devotion? So many of us yearn for complete, unwavering love and attention. While this uneven dynamic is unstable and difficult to maintain in real life, for the length of a movie (or fantasy role play), it can go a long way to making one feel special and loved.
And kinky, too
Hot Frosty inspires more than lifelong, devotional love. It inspires some great kinks, too. He streaks through the town, breaking the law and scandalizing the neighbourhood. He plays the handyman for thirsty middle-aged women, and does his best to stay inside all day waiting for Kathy to come home. Criminal-cop role play, exhibitionism and domestic servant play can all fit into these scenes.
Sensation play is even hinted at here and there. Throughout the film, Jack is described as being cold to the touch. At normal temperatures, he melts away — just like ice. To have him thrust into you would be shockingly cold. You could curl up cozy by the fire and feel his icy touch, gently dripping on your skin with a refreshingly cool wetness… And just imagine sucking on that popcycle!
If you’re into big and little play, this film offers a whole new scenario to freshen up your play time. Jack is newly alive and, in a sense, practically a baby (but without the need for diapers). Kathy teaches him social etiquette, and he’s a very fast learner. He has a childlike innocence that can be lots of fun to play with while maintaining adult status.
Neurodivergent-coded
Neurodivergence has been enjoying improved representation over the years, and Jack is very AuDHD-coded. He thinks concretely, doesn’t understand social cues and has really high empathy. Whenever anyone is upset, he immediately feels it and reacts in a big, socially awkward way. This is something that’s really common among those with AuDHD. So is eating ice, which he also does.
His behaviour is often interpreted as very strange by others, and it is, though it may be very logical. He has a strong sense of right and wrong, and even volunteers to go to jail when the sheriff declares his actions to be unlawful. He doesn’t see himself as an exception to the rules, another common AuDHD trait.
One part of this story arc that I particularly enjoy is that when Kathy’s wish for him to lie low conflicts with a promise he’s made, he stands his ground. He is going to fulfil the promise he made, whether she likes it or not. He is different, but he isn’t ashamed of himself because of it. He has his own principles, and he won’t let anyone, not even the woman he loves, get in the way of his integrity.
Straight story with a queer aesthetic
There is a beautiful moment when Jack first transforms, for only about a minute, or even less, where he is covered in blue body paint and frosty glitter. It is full-on drag, and you can’t tell me it’s not. His hair is swooped back like a cross between Peter Pan in Hook and Ursula the sea witch. On Jack, it gives big Himbo-Twink energy.
In this look, he is completely naked and, well, frosty — wearing a single, red knitted scarf, which conveniently dangles just across his “nether regions”. This part of the movie feels like it was already a burlesque or drag routine before the movie existed. I really hope so.
Though this scene is fleeting, it’s not the only queerness in this film. Jack exudes gender-neutral vibes despite a strongly masculine body. He even has a Pretty Woman montage where he’s Julia Roberts, complete with a snapping jewellery box moment. He also has an adorable scene with Officer Shatz, who gives Jack some dating advice. In this scene, Shatz shows Jack the “kiss face”, and they lean in pretty close, with more than a little shy boy chemistry. Another scene with the sheriff involves a heated interrogation with several gay Freudian slips.
Plenty of referential humour
The police duo tracking this cool stranger’s criminal behaviour are straight from Brooklyn Nine-Nine. Craig Robinson and Joe Lo Truglio play off each other beautifully, providing their own special brand of comedy. Several Netflix movies are also referenced in the script and background throughout the film, serving as fun Easter eggs for viewers to find.
Kathy is played by Lacey Chabert, who played Gretchen in Mean Girls. There is a moment when Mean Girls star, Lindsay Lohan, is on the TV (in another Hallmark-style Netflix film) and Kathy says, “Huh, that looks just like a girl I went to high school with”.
For the Mean Girls die-hards, this is such a satisfying moment that opens a Pandora’s box of questions. Has Gretchen had a mental break and imagined this new boyfriend? Is an anthropomorphic, sexy snowman the only way she can have her perfect, plastic boyfriend?
Unconditional love
This depiction of Frosty the Snowman is oddly Jesus-like. Jack shows unconditional love and affection to everyone he meets. He genuinely cares for everyone and excludes no one from knowing him. He carries no illusions about who people should be and instead fully accepts each person as they are and connects with everyone uniquely.
This is a deeply attractive quality.
Often in the movies, we see a lot of conditions placed on love. I will love you only if you do, or do not do, x. Yet the truest form of love is unconditional. This doesn’t mean that you won’t have or uphold boundaries, but rather that your love will remain constant regardless of the other person’s actions.
Jack doesn’t place conditions on his love, but he does stand up for himself when it is necessary for him to do so. He loves everyone, including himself, and doesn’t require anyone to earn it. He is a model of true love and the spirit of Christmas.
Let Hot Frosty warm your heart this Christmas, and many more to come
Hot Frosty gets better every time you watch it. The Hallmark vibes just get funnier, and the warmth of Jack’s character tugs at your heartstrings a little more each time. It’s wholesome and raunchy all at once. The most innocent sexy movie of the season.
Whether you want to spice up your holiday movie list, or mine it for kink play inspiration, Hot Frosty is worth a watch, or several.
It has all the makings of a new cult classic to be watched for years to come.