Whether you’re a heterosexual man, a lesbian, or just someone who prefers simple and beautiful designs, chances are you’re not looking for a realistic dildo!
So if you’re turned off by folds and veins galore, you’ve landed in the right place folks! In this article, I will cover the best semi-realistic, unrealistic, and non-phallic dildos available today.
Plus, almost all of these one-way tickets to Smashville are harness compatible, so fans of pegging, strap-on lesbos, and trans men rejoice!
They’re also almost all safe to use for anal play. So as long as there is a base, you should be good to go.
If you’re looking for more non-realistic dildos, make sure to read our list of fantasy dildos as you’ll find a host of gorgeous toys inspired by mythical creatures & pop culture. So if that’s your kind of thing, you won’t want to miss it!
Otherwise, if you’re not looking for a dildo that doesn’t look like a penis, refer to our realistic dildos list where you’ll be bound to find what you’re looking for! And if you’re looking for truly large toys, you’ll probably enjoy reading our large sex toys list as well.
Also, make sure to see our guide on what lubes to use as well as how to clean your toys to avoid any complications.
With that being said, here’s our top 18 list of the best unrealistic dildos, not necessarily from worst to best, because everyone’s needs and budgets are different.
TL;DR
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Flexible & cheap non-realistic dildos with suction cups |
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Most affordable glass non-phallic dildos |
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Best dual-density glow-in-the-dark suction cup dildos |
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Cheap clear dildo that looks like full-on candy |
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Best vibrating suction cup non-realistic dildos |
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Best dual-density & semi-realistic suction cup dildos |
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Best affordable pussy plug / wearable non-phallic dildo |
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Gorgeous & versatile butt/pussy plug dildo hybrid |
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The biggest collection of quality, unrealistic dildos |
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Adorable vibrating non-phallic dildos that’ll make you want to catch ’em all! |
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Amazing posable semi-realistic triple-density suction dildos |
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Beautiful non-realistic dildos for size queens/kings with a double-density option |
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Most gorgeous abstract indie dildos |
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Beautiful premium pussy plugs / wearable dildos |
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Crazily customizable non-realistic dildos ( with confetti-filled transparent options! ) |
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Best high-end Swarovski-encrusted glass dildos |
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Awesome stainless steel 2-in-one dildo |
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Silicone candy & food replica dildos |
Cheap Dildos
Avant by Blush Novelties
These unique designs are all hand-poured layer by layer with premium body-safe silicone. In the Avant collection, you will find anything from abstract to semi-realistic designs
These affordable body-safe dildos are flexible & squishy and they all come with strong suction cups.
While it changes nothing about the toys themselves, I absolutely love the cultural references in the toys’ names. You can get the classic black, white, and red “Sin city” dildo. Or maybe you prefer the funky & forever sexy “Purple Rain”. I truly believe that Prince would be honored to be immortalized as such a stylish purple dildo. I’m also a big fan of their G-Spot and prostate champion; the “Pride” dildo!
My only real concern is that while most would be satisfied with the size offered here, people who enjoy larger toys might feel a bit left out.
Gläs Glass Dildos
The Gläs line is one of the most affordable collections of glass toys I’ve ever seen. And unlike other cheap brands like Pipedream’s Icicles, you won’t have to worry about dubious quality, paint chipping, and easy-to-break handles!
The main advantage of glass toys is that, on top of being little works of art, they are frictionless, easy to sanitize, and compatible with all lubes.
And don’t you worry, being made of Borosilicate glass ( like Pyrex ), these toys are pretty damned hard to break. If it wasn’t the case, they definitely wouldn’t be this popular!
Glass toys can also hold temperature pretty well, so they are perfect for temperature play. Just don’t put them in the freezer unless you want to end up with a frozen pole and tongue situation down there. To avoid any complications, we generally suggest running hot or cold water on the toy before play.
Just keep in mind that glass toys have less give than other materials, so go a size down if you don’t want any surprises.
Neo Elite Glow in the Dark Dildos
These toys are affordable dual-density, glow-in-the-dark dildos for all you raver kids at heart.
These dildos are not only great budget dual-density dildos but they’re also quite unique. Plus, they’re super easy to find in the dark!
They might also be the most affordable quality dual-density non-realistic dildos you’ll find. So if you always liked the idea of dual-density toys but were bummed that they were all ultra-realistic and pricy, this is your chance!
They range from realistic shapes to completely abstract designs and everything else in between.
So it doesn’t matter how abstract you need your dildos to be.
Like with most old-school glow-in-the-dark toys, just let them soak in the light first for the best results when the lights are finally off.
Neo Elite Hanky Panky
Once upon a time, there was a dildo called the Luzarte Jollet, it was adorable, innovative, & shaped to fit the female anatomy better than a bio dick! Clear silicone dildos were a rare thing and ones that looked and felt like this even rarer…. and then POOF, it was gone forever.
Those were the good old days, but they left my heart ( and many orifices ) with a gap that was pretty hard to fill.
Now I’m not saying that this brand-new homage to the Luzarte Jollet is as good as that premium groundbreaking toy. The shape and silicone just aren’t the same…
BUT this dildo looks almost just as cute and edible as the classic for a fraction of the price! And it glows in the dark too!
It’s not too thick at 1.6 inch diameter and still offers a good 7 inches of insertable lenght for those who like to explore their deeper A-Spot. Plus, this one comes with an integrated suction cup, which wasn’t a thing on the OG.
I miss you Jollet, I miss you Luzarte, but for now, this cutie will do!
Mid-Range Dildos
Blush’s Impressions
Great abstract vibrating suction cup dildos are like the unicorns of the dildo world…
…And that’s exactly how I would describe Blush’s Nude Impressions! Plus, with 5 very different models to pick from, there’s really something for everyone in this collection. From small and slim to long and thick!
They’re also rechargeable, 100% waterproof, and come with 10 different vibrating modes
With Blush being the king of affordable & powerful rumbly vibes, the Nude Impressions vibrate like there’s no tomorrow!
Even if it seems too good to be true considering the price, these guys vibrate like high-end toys at least twice their price. And with most vibrating suction cup dildos being buzzy disappointments, this is definitely a godsend.
Avant Ergo by Blush
Following closely behind indie companies, big manufacturers all seem to have jumped on the dual-density bandwagon.
The Avant Ergo dildos ( previously called the Realnude ) are Blush’s attempt at making their own version of this popular silicone combo. And being one of our favorite affordable brands, our expectations were quite high.
Well, we’re happy to say that, as usual, they’ve delivered!
More on the Semi-Realistic side than completely abstract, they’ll appeal more to people who aren’t looking for veins and folds galore than for people who are trying to completely avoid any resemblance to a dick.
So how do their dual-density dildos compare to the competition?
Well, like most blends, they’re squishier than Tantus’s O2, and the firm core is one of the bendiest around.
Most importantly, decent suction cups come included with every model.
A feature that rarely makes an appearance in dual-density toys. We’d even go as far as saying that they’re the best suction cups you can find on any dual-density dildo. An impressive feat coming from such a budget option.
G squeeze Vaginal Plug by SquarePegToys
What if you’re a woman or AFAB and you really don’t want a dildo that reminds you of a dick? Hell, what if you want dildos that don’t look like dildos at all? Maybe you just really want a toy to squeeze on and fill you up while you go about your business, whatever that is?
Well, the G Squeeze Vaginal Plug might be the answer to all your problems as this is the best dildo for women looking not to look at a dick while getting off!
Shorter than most dildos, this pussy plug / wearable dildo was tailor-made for the female anatomy. Which is the kind of thing you didn’t know you wanted. Let me explain:
First and foremost, if you don’t know this already, tons of women/AFAB folks enjoy simply squeezing on a toy during clitoral stimulation and the silicone found on this toy is squishy as fuck! But the benefits don’t end there, my kinky friend.
Vaginal plugs can also be worn in public ( with a tight enough brief to avoid any accidents while squatting and jumping ) without having to deal with the common issue of most panty vibes being too noisy for certain situations. They’re so discreet no one will have to know about your naughty little secret! Hell, it could make most house tasks and errands that much more enjoyable!
Such toys are also great for sitting on, and rocking back and forth. They’re perfect for enhancing anal sex when worn vaginally, as well. Plus, nothing stops you from simply using it as a traditional dildo either!
What makes the G squeeze even more revolutionary than its rare competition is its unique shape.
It’s clear a lot of thought and user feedback went into the making of this toy as the G squeeze was clearly tailor-made for the vulva & vagina:
- It’s just the perfect length to fit most vaginas measuring pretty close to the average depth of the female anatomy when aroused ( 4.5 to 4.75 inches ).
- The ingenious T-Bar base sits comfortably between the labia and, depending on your anatomy, will rub against the underside of your clitoris in certain situations.
- The neck is just small enough to provide pleasurable sensations to the sensitive entrance of the vagina while still being comfortable.
- The bulbous lower part of the plug offers a great filling sensation while rubbing against the G-Spot.
- Finally, the scoop-shaped soft tip is perfect for some extra cervical/deep stimulation, without being too long and hard as to not feel like you are just being uncomfortably poked up there.
Speaking of ingenious shape, it can be folded in half for easier insertion ( which is definitely helpful on the larger models ).
Being reversible, depending on if you wear it forward or flip it 180 degrees, you will get completely different sensations, with one angle providing more of a focus on the g-spot while the other feels more filling.
Squarepegtoy’s G Squeeze also comes in plenty of sizes and colors!
So whether you’re a size queen or a total beginner, you will definitely find something you like. It goes from more than reasonable to full-on fisting here, so I’d be surprised if you can’t find your size!
It also helps that each color this super squishy silicone comes in is absolutely gorgeous. The unique shiny metallic shimmer ( a signature style for SquarePegToys ) found on these makes them not only great to squeeze on but also quite pleasing to look at!
Hole Punch Fluke
What if you really like the idea of a pussy plug / wearable dildo that you can lock into place and squeeze on while you play, but still want something that’ll do more traditional penetrations as well?
Well, the Fluke by Hole Punch is what I’d call a Pussy/Butt Plug dildo hybrid!
It’s less targeted at strictly vaginal play, so it’s a great butt plug while still being an awesome pussy plug. But the Fluke is also dildo-like enough for in-and-out penetrations thanks to its bulbous end.
Hell, its inflated top half will laser focus on all the sensitive bits at the entrance of your vagina or anus ( including prostates and G-spots! ) as you go back and forth.
Once you’re done with the stroking, you can just push it in and, thanks to its thin neck and larger base, it’ll lock right into place, ready to be squeezed on as you focus your attention elsewhere!
So it’s super versatile and awesome, especially for those who like all kinds of internal stimulation.
What’s more, I just love the gradients on these colorful toys.
It’s a type of silicone pour I just wish we saw more on sex toys as it’s incredibly appealing to me. And while I’m a huge marbled fan… this might take the cake ( literally and figuratively )!
Tantus Line
Tantus is a classic company with one of the largest collections of high-quality silicone toys.
While most of their toys are made of glossy frictionless silicone, they still have a few matte models as well.
All their vibrating options have removable vibrators that can be replaced with their great suction cup add-on. Another strong point is that almost all their toys are harness compatible as well!
They also offer a pretty big collection of large silicone dildos. Which is a rare thing coming from such a mainstream company. But Tantus always was special like that!
I would also like to give a special mention to the Flurry, Cush, and Duchess.
Their beautiful designs along with Tantus’s dual-density squishy O2 silicone make these toys some the best in their collection!
Cute Little Fuckers
If Pokémon were designed for pleasure instead of battle, they’d look a lot like these.
Cute Little Fuckers takes whimsical design and turns it into inclusive, functional art with their trio of dildos: Trinity, Jix, and Shimmer.
All three are made of soft, body-safe silicone and come with removable bullet vibes — perfect for adding buzz to your fantasy play.
Trinity is the bold one: A gently curved, harness-compatible dildo with just the right amount of girth for those who like a fuller feel. It’s great for G-spot or prostate stimulation and stays put for strap-on play. Plus, it looks like a Diglett evolution!
Jix is the softie of the bunch — flexible, slender, and beginner-friendly. Its playful shape makes it easy to experiment with internal or external stimulation, no matter your anatomy. If it’s in your vagina, it’ll stimulate your clit or anus also! If it’s in your butt, it’ll stimulate your balls or vagina! Everyone wins!
And Shimmer? Think elegant curves and precision angles with extra stimulation! It’s a sleek, accessible design that naturally finds the G-spot or prostate while staying comfortable to hold and control. It’s also a fun external toy if you’re looking for new ways to use it!
Strap-On-Me Double Density Dildo
Strap-On-Me is one of those newer brands that is really starting to grow on me for all the work they’ve been doing for the lesbian and pegging community.
They make unbelievably sexy lingerie strap-on harnesses for femmes, great body-safe squirting dildos, and probably the greatest double-ended “strapless” dildos in the business! But despite the name, it seems like they want to be more than just a strap-on company… And I think they’re succeeding.
Their “Double Density Dildo” is a bit of a marketing mistake. Or maybe they’re just being modest as it really is a triple-density, posable dildo!
In this semi-realistic dildo, you have your usual dual-density cores, plus an extra posable one at the center. So unless my math teachers lied to me my whole life, I believe that’s 3 densities!
What’s more, when it comes to bendable dildos, this might be the best one at holding its shape during play. So once you find the perfect bend for your g-spot or prostate ( or lack of bend, if you like it that way! ) it’ll most likely stay like that until you’re done!
Do you know what’s better than a great dildo? A great dildo that offers 4 different sizes and 5 different colors!
You got realistic colors, abstract colors, and sizes for almost anyone’s needs. You need a small anal dildo? done! You’re a size queen/king just aching for a dildo that does it all? Done, done!
In a world of amazing dildos sadly only targetting one aesthetic, size, or shape preference, this is truly refreshing.
Now, I know this is a bit childish, but I just love the heart-shaped suction cups, alright?
I’m just cute like that. Plus, they work great! So there’s that.
Pris Toys’ Basilisk & Sentinel
Pris Toys are just starting to make waves in the world of dildos that don’t look like dildos and I’ve noticed!
What’s more, they’re making some of the best affordable large non-realistic dildos yet!
They come in gorgeous marbled colors, and while they aren’t necessarily long, the girth is the real showstopper here for size queens and kings alike!
So unless you really need a toy to bottom you out with some length to spare, they’re definitely worth a look.
They make 2 different thick dildos in both standard squishy silicone and dual-density.
The Shapes are pretty non-phallic so they’re perfect for those who just aren’t into dicks. And though they don’t have any significant G/P-spot curves, they’re so thick they’ll hit them anyway.
The Dual-density options are very similar to Vixskin ( except for the realistic look of course! ), which is definitely impressive for the price.
Of course, Vixskin is still king here, but for thick dual-density dildos that don’t look like penises, that’s pretty much you’re only option at this price point and quality!
If 2.5 inches in diameter is too much for you but you still like it thick, they also make the 2-inch Nova!
It’s pretty much part of that family as it matches them in looks and comes in beautiful dual-density and marbled silicone as well. It’s just a touch more forgiving!
High-End Dildos
Uberrime Dildos
That’s right, another indie company! What can I say, I’m a huge sucker for sex toy artisans.
You see, Uberimme is one of those rare independent companies that broke through the Etsy world and landed spots in some of the most popular stores of today.
Something that is quite understandable since they make some of the most beautiful marbled silicone designs we’ve ever seen.
These pieces of fuckable art come in a variety of abstract and fantasy designs.
While most of them are uniquely textured, they’re not that overwhelming since their silicone has a fair amount of squish to it.
I’m also big fans their glow-in-the-dark toys like their re-imagination of the classic Jellyfish dildo and, of course, the Dr. Manhattan.
Plus, as a part-time toy reviewer and full-time nerd, I really appreciate the comic book reference.
Uberrime also makes a great dual-density dildo named the Splendid.
While not entirely unrealistic in shape, the interesting colors it comes in sure balances it out.
Splendid’s silicone has a consistency that lies between the harder O2 by Tantus and the softer Vixskin by Vixen creations, so it’s a great middle-ground for people who are torn between the two.
Uberrime Festa & Suavis
Oh well, lookee here, Uberrime again already! Did I mention how much I love them?
So you liked the previous pussy plugs but are looking for something a little more luxurious? Enter the Vaginal Plugs from Uberrime!
On top of being the new holy grail for non-phallic and versatile dildos like the above vaginal plugs ( go back to the G-Squeeze entry for all the benefits ), these toys are just absolutely gorgeous instead of being strictly functional.
Both toys come in 3 comprehensive Sizes that should accommodate the most reserved to the most demanding of orifices! But there are some differences:
The Festa comes with a T-Bar base that is just perfect for all-day wear, so it’s bound to be a favorite for sitting on and walking around.
If you’re lucky enough to have a short distance between your clitoris and your vaginal entrance, you might even get some extra stimulation that way in some angles!
All in all, this one is more of an all-arounder and should satisfy most!
The Suavis puts way more emphasis on the G-spot, so as you contract, it should apply a nice amount of pressure on said G-spot! And though it comes in 3 sizes just like the Festa, it is overall a larger, more filling toy! Thanks to the tapered head, it is still a breeze to insert.
The base here is even more subtle than the Festa, so if you find anything rubbing on the outside of your vaginal entrance uncomfortable, that might be your pick as well.
This does sadly, remove the ability to be used anally as the base isn’t substantial enough to prevent it from slipping in.
Fantasy Grove
If you felt like your non-realstic toys lacked customization, Fantasy Grove would like to drop a ( glitter ) bomb on that assumption!
Fantasy grove makes a nice range of semi-realistic to abscract dildos, and if you need more options, they also an even larger collection of fantasy toys as well!
The silicone quality alone deserves a standing ovation, but where Fantasy Grove really shines is in their customization game.
We’re talking color gradients that look like sunsets, cosmic marbling, drips that make your toy look fresh out of an ice cream parlor, and even glow-in-the-dark rave vibes.
And while a lot of brands max out at two colors, Fantasy Grove lets you go wild with up to six. Six. As in, “your dildo could look like a pride flag collided with a pollock painting.”
Plus, you get to pick between a huge range of sizes and silicone densities. So you truly get to customize your toy to your exact liking
And then there’s the Near Clear collection, which is basically like a galaxy trapped in silicone.
Remember the above Neo Elite Hanky Panky? Well, it’s basically that concept, but on crack!
Imagine a see-through base with floaty glitter, confetti stars & moons, or tiny strawberries. Depending on what you pick, the effect is either cute as hell or straight-up otherworldly.
Honestly, my only complaint? There’s not enough confetti. Hearts, sprinkles, little alien heads—come on, Fantasy Grove, I know you’ve got it in you!
Crystal Delights’ Glass Dildos
If you like your glam with a side of artistry, you will love Crystal Delights.
Handmade in very durable borosilicate glass, almost every unique piece comes adorned with a genuine Swarovski crystal.
They make gorgeous dildos ( and butt plugs ) in all sorts of different shapes and sizes.
A lot of what has been said about the previous cheaper, and mass-produced Icicles is also true about these toys. But just keep in mind that, like with any other Swarovski toys, you should avoid boiling them during sanitization since it could dislodge the crystal from its base.
Their classic models are simple and beautiful, and all come adorned with a genuine Swarovski Crystal.
If you’re feeling adventurous, their twist dildo will provide a sensation like no other.
Literally meant to screw yourself, this twisted glass dildo might seem intimidating at first. But once you get past its looks, it is actually known to feel amazing on G-Spots and prostates alike. This all thanks to its many pronounced ridges. Just remember that this dildo is meant for twisting, and not thrusting!
Le Wand Arch
The Arch is the most dildo-shaped stainless steel toy I’ve seen yet!
Most of them seem to be meant for intense G-spot stim or anal like what the pioneers of surgical stainless steel toys ( Njoy ) and their many copycats usually tend to make.
Sure, Njoy makes a very dildo-like toy but it’s absolutely gigantic! While this is great news for size kings and queens, it’s not so great for the more modest of us.
Le Wand’s Arch, on the other hand, is between 1 inch to 1.45 inches in diameter, which is like most “regular” bio dicks! Though it is still worth keeping in mind that these won’t squish like a human or a silicone dildo, so it is still slightly more filling than it looks.
One end has a more traditional & smaller dildo shape, while the other is more bulbous and filling.
The larger end sort of reminds me of the ever-popular, and often-copied shape of the Mona and Ina from Lelo.
It’s bulbous enough to hug every wall of your anatomy without being too overwhelming at the same time. So it is perfect for some G-spot stimulation or to finish up once well warmed up by the other end!
The only real downside here is that the Arch is pretty heavy so it can get a little tiresome to hold over long sessions.
But on the other hand, the weight does add something that’s a little hard to explain while in use, as it presses against your insides without you having to do anything ( Pro tip: flip on your belly and it’ll just weigh down on your P/G-spot! Yum! ).
Its heft sort of expresses power in a slightly scary yet hot way. Hard to express in words but those in the know will understand!
SelfDelve
The Germans are most known for their engineering and being freaky as hell and Selfdelve is basically the perfect marriage of the two!
You ever looked at a particularly phallic piece of candy or produce and thought ” if this thing was more hygienic, I’d definitely tap that”?
Well, you’re in luck my friend, since SelfDelve makes the most realistic Silicone food replicas in the business!
We all know we’re not supposed to play with our food, but now you get to do just that without the guilt or possible irritations that might come with it!
These things are so realistic and beautiful, they’re basically the Realcock 2 of the food world. And in a world of flat-tone silicone dildos, these almost look like magic!
So if you’re looking at making your fake fruit bowl a whole lot more exciting, this is it folks!