I recently attended a Kama Sutra-focused tantric retreat in Goa, India. Having already practiced yoga and meditation for most of my life, sensing the energetic layers of life was already familiar to me. This familiarity provided a strong foundation to jump from into a deepening world of experience.
The other attendees of this retreat had varying degrees of experience with tantra, and most had never attended a Kama Sutra workshop before. Many were eager to learn the subtleties of seduction and to enjoy sensual delights with a partner.
There are many misconceptions about tantra and the Kama Sutra. This article is not an in-depth discussion of either, but rather an introduction to both and how they can add richness to your life, especially your sex life.
What is Kama Sutra?
Outside of India, tantra and the Kama Sutras became blended into a singular idea, nearly synonymous, sold as a type of kink to the adventurous. Even in India, these ideas get conflated, as those interested in one are often interested in the other.
Kama refers to desire, pleasure, love, and enjoyment of life. Sutra means sewing, or to stitch together. Therefore, this book is about learning to sew together a life of joy, love, and pleasure. Yes, there are images depicting many sex positions, but there is also guidance on creating a romantic atmosphere, interacting with different kinds of women, and flirting.
The English translations that exist of the Kama Sutra all seem to distort the text in some key ways. Born of a Victorian mindset, the Burton version is the most pirated book in the English language.
This version alters the contributions of women in the text, stripping them of their independence. Only a few English translations exist, and none appear to be completely faithful to the original work.
The original Sanskrit text has existed since the second or third century CE. In all that time, there is plenty of room for creative interpretations of its guidance.
What is Tantra?
Tantra is not simply about sex. It’s about spiritual enlightenment, which spans many areas of life, and that happens to include sex. Sex is one part of this complex and expansive framework, as it should be. It would be weird if it wasn’t. Meditation, yoga, chanting, body purification — all of these are a part of the process of awakening into the present moment and your own divine power, which resides in all of us.
Tantra roughly translates to weaving. Spacetime is often described as being a sort of fabric. If spacetime is the fabric, tantra is the technique of weaving it. However, it goes beyond these dimensions and includes the unseen and often unfelt dimensions of reality. If you’re into astral travel, Reiki, or any sort of energy work, this is what I’m talking about. Tantra involves working with these things.
When I refer to tantric touch, I am talking about using not only your physical body, but your ability to work with energy beyond your physical body as well. With the right technique, your touch can be felt deeply into someone’s body, sometimes even without physically touching at all.
Tantra, the Vortex, and Flow States
There are many crossovers between flow states, tantra, and, if you’re a fan of Abraham Hicks, the vortex. This is the embodied state that puts you in touch with the universe — the fabric of reality. From that place, you can learn to pull things towards you, repel them away from you, and intuitively flow towards your wishes and desires.
Much can be learned through solitary study, but things really blossom when you’re able to practice with others. Guidance from those who are more experienced than you is priceless. Sometimes you don’t know what you’re aiming for until you see it embodied in someone else. Witnessing those who have experience can help you to find your own connection to divine energy.
There are many ways to get this energy flowing. Dance is a particularly powerful one if you’re willing to be present with your body, and brave enough to move it how it wants to be moved, not how you think it ought to move. Every day, there was dancing. We danced to tantric music with electrifying drums, steadily growing energy, and explosions of power.
How to go with the flow
Flowing with tantric energy and remaining connected to your sense of joy and pleasure can heighten your enjoyment of life, connection, and sexuality. Activating chakras with your partner and connecting with these energy centres intentionally together can profoundly transform your relationship and create a sense of safety from which to build.
Explosive energy is something you have to work towards and recover from. All of these stages are part of the flow. Honour them. Revel in them. Practice this through dance, through self-touch, and then, if you’ve found a willing partner, with another. Start slow and respond to the energy. Explore until you find a pleasurable reaction, then play with it. If the energy is no longer building, switch it up. If that drops the energy, meet it where it has landed.
Peaks and valleys come and go. Follow the flows and respect the changes as they happen. You may have had grand plans of exactly how you wanted your date to go, but if circumstances have changed, holding onto the plan could ruin the experience. Let it go. Be happy for the daydream you had while planning, and welcome the new reality.
How to learn to use tantric touch
Start by practicing on yourself. Run your fingers over your body and experiment with different spots and pressures, and directions. Stroke your fingers down your arms, lightly touch your collar bone, the small of your back, your neck; anywhere that feels good. Tune in to how you touch yourself. Then, start focusing on moving energy beyond your physical body. Visualise creating balls of energy in the palms of your hands, or beams from your fingertips. Consciously push that energy to deepen your touch.
With a partner, practice receiving touch. Close your eyes and focus on the sensations your partner is giving you. Experiment with each other’s ability to use energy with touch. Try to focus your attention on the energy field around your body and notice when there is a change. Without looking, see if you can identify where the hands of your partner are hovering.
Once you have deepened your awareness of energetic sensation, you will notice that tantric touch reaches you differently than surface-level touch. This can activate the flow of energy in your body in an unforgettable way. Tantric touch speaks to a soul connection rather than simply mechanical objectification.
Bringing tantric touch and the kama sutras into the bedroom
To bring the Kama Sutra and tantric teachings into your sex life, start practicing meditation and touch with your partner. Experiment together using a blindfold, and try to sense what the other is
doing. Use something like a feather or a flower to lightly touch your lover’s skin. Massage each other very slowly and with intention. Use edible paints or foods to see the trace of your touch. Lick it off slowly, mindfully. Massage each other’s scalps, slowly, and imagine that energy is flowing from your hands, swirling around their third eye chakra.
To bring in pleasure, it is encouraged to take a slow pace. Savour every moment; every sensation. Observe and respond to the energy of whoever you are connected to. Close your eyes. Feel how someone touches you. Put intention into how you are touching others. Consent is king.
Some practical advice from the Kama Sutras, though not entirely one size fits all, draws attention to important details that should be curated carefully for each experience. Good hygiene is emphasised, as is scent and taste. Care in choosing clean and luxurious clothing is important, as is the choice of location. Being outdoors is ideal. Create a sensual playground and explore it together.
Weaving and sewing love and pleasure into a beautiful garment
There are many ways to enjoy sexuality. The Kama Sutra seems to be particularly focused on exploring a loving and sensual experience, rather than a lusty or dirty vibe. It’s all part of the human experience, but the focus here is on treating sex as sacred. Treating yourself and your beloved as divine. This means creating a space your lover will enjoy, that you feel comfortable in as well. From there, the energy will flow, and who knows what will come up!
Love and trust yourself. Love and trust those with whom you interact. Follow your bliss wherever it leads you and don’t be afraid to let go. Slow down and savour every sensation. Take time to curate your environment.
With these guiding principles, you can begin to design the fabric of your own life in a way that is beautiful to you and those you love. Enjoy the many colours, textures, weights, and folds of your masterful life fashion. Cut and sew to your heart’s content and live a life of pleasure.