Ejaculating dildos are a great & surprisingly popular concept.
Society would have you think that body fluids are just plain yucky but some folks just love the stuff to a point they’d even simulate it! And that’s without counting all the other practical uses for these niche dildos.
In short, squirting dildos are underrated.
Sadly, most ( if not nearly all ) squirting dildos aren’t made of body-safe materials.
So if you care about the health of your bits you pretty much have to give up on your dreams of artificial cream pies and cum shots… until now!
It seems that once more the kink gods have answered our prayers because, in the past few years, silicone dildos that cums have slowly started to appear, making their mark on the industry.
To sweeten the deal I won’t only cover the best squirting silicone dildos, but also all sorts of fake cum lube and recipes for different situations!
That’s right, this is the one-stop-shop body-safe cum fetish/artificial insemination article you’ve all been dreaming of! And THAT is a sentence I never thought I’d ever utter.
Why use a squirting dildo?
Back when they weren’t body-safe, I was more focused on why not to use them. But as the times are changing into a more body-safe world, there are almost TOO MANY reasons to actually use them.
- The obvious: Cum fetishes!
This is for the cumshot fans, bukkake aficionados, and lovers of being internally filled to the brim with the stuff!
This is what most people think of when they think of an ejaculating dildo, and while they are partially right, boy are they missing the big picture!
- More “natural” artificial conception for lesbians, trans men, and the infertile!
Didn’t see that one cumming, did ya?
You see, the official method of good ol’ spunk and turkey basters just isn’t exactly all that romantic… or fun. So it is entirely understandable & logical that one would want to strap on a nice silicone dil, and put some love into it! So for many, a fully functional ejaculating strap-on dildo is quite the dream!
Now for trans men, it isn’t strictly a conception thing. It can also just be about gender euphoria. All boys want an explosive finish after all!
- Seamless lubrication during play!
Yep, another curveball from your buddy Jim the Dildo Dealer!
This is an underrated but not-to-be-forgotten use for squirting dildos. If your “cum alternative” is lube, you can slowly release it as you play to stay lubricated for as long as you’d wish!
So if you like a long session, need help with lubrification, or just like to keep your play as slippery as humanly possible, this is an awesome method to keep you going well into the night.
Also, make sure to see our guide on what lubes to use as well as how to clean your toys to avoid any complications.
With that being said, here’s our list of the best squirting dildos & fake cum lubes, not necessarily from worst to best, because everyone’s needs and budgets are different.
TL;DR
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Best squirting dildos that are non-realistic |
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Best ejaculating dildo / POP alternative for those looking for more sizes |
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Great small realistic squirting dildo/packer hybrid |
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Great realistic squirting dildo without the balls |
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Realistic vibrating squirting dildo for people who like rigid toys |
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Affordable squirting fantasy dildos |
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Large collection of aesthetic fantasy squirting dildos |
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Best Bad Dragon alternative when looking for an ejaculating dildo |
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Best vibrating realistic ejaculating dildo & FTM prosthetic |
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Best faux cum lube for all internal use |
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Best bulk affordable & customizable cum lube ( butt stuff and cum shots only! ) |
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Most versatile edible and safe to use cum lube |
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Best edible imitation semen ( external use only ) |
The Best Ejaculating Dildos
Pop Squirting Dildos by Tantus
The OG! When these first came out, boy was I stoked! They were the first silicone squirting dildos to ever grace the sex toy world after all.
Before the rebrand, they were called Semenette and were pioneered by Stephanie Berman, a lesbian woman looking for a body-safe alternative for strap-on assisted artificial insemination.
Being catered to women who love women, all their designs were unrealistic/abstract so they wouldn’t look like bio dude dicks.
A few years later in 2018, they sadly crumbled under the huge demand for such toys and, to my dismay and that of many body-safe sex toy die-hards, disappeared from the map. But they’ve recently reappeared under the wing of legendary silicone dildo brand Tantus! Another pioneer in the body-safe sex toy world.
With their return, they now offer two non-realistic silicone ejaculating dildos: POP and POP Slim.
POP is for people who prefer bigger bits at 7.5 inches of insertable length and 4.75 inches of circumference. It also has a nice pronounced head for the sake of all eager g-spots & prostates around the world!
POP Slim is their smaller model with 5.5 inches of insertable length and 3.5 inches of circumference. A real champion for beginners and people starting out with pegging.
Both models come standard with a syringe system, though they can easily be swapped with a bulb system instead.
You’ll be also glad to hear that their spare parts ( that includes optional bulbs ) are easily available through Tantus and various other online sex shops!
Strap-On-Me Squirting Dildo
Here’s a little brand that’s been slowly earning its place in my silicone heart.
You see, back in my sex shop days, strangely enough, I used to be the guy to talk to when it came to strap-ons. I say strange because I’m not a lesbian or a transgender man and I’m not into pegging either… I just really knew my stuff! And as the strap-on guy, I can tell you that Strap-On-Me is doing a lot for harness aficionados!
You might notice that these dildos have a lot in common with the POP dildos.
I believe this is because this cumming dildo came out during the disappearance of POP before their recent return.
So why include this toy on this list if it just riffs on the OG? Well, I think it’s a great in-between size for the POP & POP Slim.
While it doesn’t come in as many colors as the POP squirting dildos, it does come with a feature I always like seeing on dildos with cum tubes.
It offers multiple alignments for the tube itself, so you can better fit it into a multitude of harnesses. So if you’re looking for the best squirting strap-on dildo, this might very well be the one because It’ll fit in pretty much any harness comfortably.
Plus, since we’re all very particular when it comes to our own pleasure, just having the option of having the tube come out at an angle that is most comfortable for you is always good!
The silicone here is great as well, not too rigid or not too soft, so it should please most!
POP ‘N’ Play by Tantus
Are lovers of realistic dildos feeling left out yet?
Well, don’t fret! POP dildos, with their return to the industry, came back with the POP ‘n’ Play dildos as well!
While originally made for trans men for play, packing, and conception, there’s nothing stopping anyone from using them as just plain old silicone squirting dildos also!
To make these dildos feel as natural as possible, they’ve also opted for dual-density silicone, which makes the POP ‘n’ Play almost feel like the real thing!
For those who don’t know, dual-density dildos are made with a rigid but still flexible silicone core wrapped in an extra layer of squishy silicone, which makes your dildos feel almost like IRL bio cocks!
If you’re trans masculine, you’ll also be glad to hear that this dildo also doubles as a packer.
Pack & play prosthetics are already a rarity and so are squirting prosthetics. So this is kind of a gift from trans heaven right there! It’s also not too big as to not look like you’re fully erect at all times. A big plus in my book, especially if you live/work near a school zone!
There is a small caveat though, especially for size queens & kings.
This dildo only offers 4.25 inches of insertable length and 4 inches of circumference. Now, this shouldn’t be much of an issue for most but if you like your peters to err on the side of huge, this might be a bit underwhelming for you.
The reason they went for the smaller size is so trans men can fit them in their pants as packers when not in use. But I get you, I would’ve still liked them to make a non-packing larger version of this dildo as well as it would probably be quite popular!
Strap-On-Me Realistic Squirting Dildo
I get it, you want a realistic squirting dildo, but you are not so crazy about ball sacks… And almost all the realistic options on this list are very ball-forward.
“How could a man cum without his balls?” Some would say. I say go back to your anatomy class: The liquid part of Semen is actually generated in the prostate!
If balls are a bit of a turn-off to you, you’ll love Strap-On-Me’s new realistic squirting dildos!
It’s the same deal as the Strap-On-Me pop alternative above but this time around you get 2 realistic dildos with 2 semi-realistic colors ( is anyone really this black? ).
I’d really love to see a skin tone selection more akin to what POP offers. But beggars aren’t choosers and squirting dildos made out of body-safe silicone are so rare we’ll have to do with what we have for now.
Careful: The sizing here is totally off and smaller than you think.
They offer two sizes Large and X-Large. Which is strange because these are definitely not that.
The Large is more of a regular with 6.5 inches of insertable length and 1.4 inches in width.
The X-Large is more of a larger regular or smaller large with 7 inches of insertable length and 1.6 inches in diameter.
Yeah they’re slightly longer than regular dudes, but that absolutely does not make these Ls and XLs.
Big shot by Evolved
The 6-inch long & 1.6-inch wide Big Shot is probably the most feature-packed silicone squirting dildo around… BUT it’s a bit of a mixed bag as well.
Evolved’s squirter vibrates, ejaculates electrically ( no external pumps/syringe required ), and is fully waterproof.
The 10 vibration modes are surprisingly good and rumbly, which wasn’t expected at all!
The electric cum pump though is maybe not for everyone as it isn’t as powerful as some would like. It’s also quite noisy in action ( as most electrical pumps are ). So the result is a bit of a noisy and underwhelming squirt. Think dehydrated and tired vocal dude and not professional & stoic pornographic loads.
Still, if you want something a bit more natural ( if not slightly below average ) this squirting action might still do it for you! Plus, for those looking for a squirting strap-on dildo, no tube means an easy fit in any harness!
While most can live with somewhat loud and underpowered squirts, there’s a caveat that definitely isn’t for everybody here:
This toy is REALLY rigid. As in “is this even silicone” kind of rigid. So if glass & stainless steel toys just scare your orifices to death, this might not be the dildo for you.
Either way, use plenty of lube, and it should make your experience much easier to handle!
Creature Cocks Squirting Dildos
I first became aware of Creature Cocks when I was working on my Bad Dragon alternatives article.
Years later, I still consider this brand a great starting point in the world of fantasy dildos as they are super affordable compared to the rest of the competition and are constantly coming up with new products to keep up with the trends.
While not as refined & numerous as the next squirting fantasy dildos below, Creature Cocks makes some of the most affordable fantasy ejaculating toys you can find!
It’s worth noting that their models are mass-produced and their sculpts are mostly white-label. But while I would normally see this as a red flag coming from a premium indie company, this really just results in a rare affordable option in this niche!
If you know me, you know I love the idea of having kinks being accessible to all in a body-safe form. So more power to them!
Creature Cocks are currently selling two affordable silicone squirting dildos: The Resurrector Phoenix & Centaur Explosion
These are brand new additions to their roaster so I’m pretty sure they’ll release much more after seeing the success of these bad boys with band names.
The sculpts were also pretty well chosen as they both satisfy people looking for regular sizes as well as size kings and queens looking for girth & length, which is a great move on their part considering their currently slim selection.
What I mean by this is that before the knots, these are not super long or thick. That’s 1.6 ( Resurrector ) and 1.2 ( Centaur ) inches in diameter and 5 ( Resurrector ) and 4.5 ( Centaur ) inches in length.
But once you are past the knots you get a few extra inches and quite a bit more girth. That’s 2.6 ( Resurrector ) and 2.1 ( Centaur ) inches in diameter and 7.5 ( Resurrector ) and 7.6 ( Centaur ) inches in total length!
It’s also worth noting they didn’t mess up the tube placements and having it at the side of the base makes these entirely harness-compatible!
Uncover Creations
If you’re looking for a Bad Dragon alternative that has the same level of choice, customization, & extras as the popular brand, Uncover Creations is probably your best bet!
So if you felt a bit underwhelmed by the limited ( but affordable ) choices of Creature Cocks, you will definitely find something to cheer you up here.
You’re probably wondering why you aren’t looking at Bad Dragon right now.
As I’ve mentioned in our ever-popular Bad Dragon alternatives article. BD has had a fair share of controversies in the past and I fully understand and support folks looking for good alternatives. So here we are!
Here you can find almost any fantasy variation you could hope for, tentacles, slinks, dragon dicks, you name it, they got it!
While not all their toys are compatible with their cum tubes ( the 6 toys in the photo are )!
Plus, since all 7 of their squirting tube-compatible toys have nearly unlimited color choices, 3 sizes to pick from ( their x-small are not big enough to be compatible ), and 3 firmnesses each, those 6 options can easily feel like a pretty huge roaster.
Sinnovator 
Now that you’ve seen the beautiful toys of Uncover Creations, let’s give the grittier, more realistic Sinnovator a look!
Sinnovator allows you to make your own marbled ( or not! ) color mixes, offers optional suction cups, Vac-U-Lock holes, and most importantly, most of their toys can be outfitted with cum tubes!
Most of their toys also come in multiple sizes from manageable to scary. Additionally, they offer multiple silicone densities, and the color choices are nearly endless. So don’t feel limited by their stock setups! Though some of their signature toy-specific colorways are pretty awesome as well.
All in all, this is probably the largest roaster of fantasy ejaculating dildos you can find!
The only downside ( for non-europeans ) is that Sinnovator ships from the UK so you might have to deal with customs if you’re in America. Still, their prices are cheap enough to make up for it!
Joystick by Transthetics 
What if you want a super realistic silicone dildo that vibrates and ejaculates but you don’t want it to be as noisy or rigid as the Big Shot?
That’s where the Joystick comes in! Another sex toy innovation coming straight from the queer world!
Kind of interesting how lesbians and trans men are at the forefront of most body-safe ejaculating dildo innovations. Still, that doesn’t mean cis straight folks can’t reap the benefits and indulge as well. Everyone’s happy!
While the Joystick can easily work on its own while playing solo, it is a great “strapless” dildo for partnered play as well.
You will need to buy Transtethic’s special harness underwear ( or easily modify your own underwear ) for optimal play, but this is a great solution to make the wearer feel like this dick is actually their own!
The positioning of the wearer’s stimulation head is super unique and rubs against their sensitive bits as they play. Unlike other strapless strap-ons it provides external stimulation vs the usual internal stim, which is definitely welcome.
You know what else is welcome? That part on the wearer’s bits vibrates and it vibrates good! A Vibration that can be felt on the person on the receiving end as well.
What’s more, to ensure a perfect match with the wearer’s complexion, the Joystick comes in a nice range of natural skin tones!
The material is squishy and realistic, and the vibrations are great but what about that ejaculation action!?
It depends! For one, I love that there aren’t any external tubing or bulbs attached. The cum/cum imitation is simply inserted through the tip and you squeeze the base of the tip for the big finale.
Now, the lack of external apparatuses also means you won’t get the most explosive finish. But this truly depends on the consistency of the faux-semen ( or actual semen ) you use. If you’re using a thick cum lube, for example, it’ll tend to just flow out, but if you use a more liquid substance, it’ll truly shoot out.
Best Imitation Cum
Sliquid Silk Lube
While you can just use standard lube if you’re only in it for constant lubrification during sex, Sliquid’s Silk makes that concept even better by being creamier and whiter than your standard lube, adding an extra layer of realism in the process.
It also helps that Sliquid is one of the best brands for healthy, body-safe, and PH-balanced lube!
Silk isn’t just for cum fetishes either. It was originally made to be a “best-of-all-worlds” lube in the first place, mixing the qualities of water-based lube with the long-lasting effects of silicone lube. So it’s not even branded as a cum lube, which can be a plus if you’re afraid of folks rummaging through your drawers.
You’ll be getting a great lube out of this purchase, not just a regular cum lube … which are often irritating, smelly, and have questionable shelf lives! So if you were looking for THE Bad Dragon cum lube alternative, this might be it!
If you’re looking for a cum lube that is safe to use for artificial cream pies, this is it!
Since it was made with the standard of being healthy for the ever-capricious vaginas, you won’t have any problem with other orifices either.
You can empty entire syringes/bulbs of the stuff in you and still remain healthy to do it again the day after, how wonderful!
Just keep in mind that since there is some silicone in this mixture, you will need to clean your silicone toys thoroughly as soon as possible after use so as to not deteriorate the silicone of your toys over time ( Hint: Solid and liquid silicones don’t always agree with each other )!
All in all, If you’re looking for a cum lube made specifically for internal use, it doesn’t get much better than this! Cum appreciation aside, this is an awesome lube to start with, so you won’t be disappointed!
WHERE TO BUY
J-Lube
J-Lube is probably the most realistic and affordable faux cum you can get your hands on.
It comes in a powder that you have to mix with water so you can adjust the viscosity to your taste. Plus, you can make literal tubs of the stuff for pennies!
J-Lube is stringy and cloudy just like the real stuff so it really adds to the realism of it all as well.
So why not skip the more expensive and tad less realistic Sliquid silk above?
Due to the sucralose content, it won’t be safe for sensitive vaginas, but still perfect for anal and cum shots!
So if you are prone to bacterial or yeast infections or just have a very sensitive flora, I’d avoid it for internal use.
If you’re more into anal or getting covered with the stuff though, there is a lot to like here! Plus, the fact that you can essentially produce it in bulk for cheap means that if you have a bukkake fetish, you’ll be able to indulge on the cheap ( if you don’t count the multiple dildos required of course )!
So while not all vaginas can take sucralose, most if not all anuses and bodies will love J-Lube! It’s stringy, cloudy, dirt cheap, and allows you to choose the exact viscosity you want for yourself. So it’s pretty hard to beat when it comes to cum lube!
WHERE TO BUY
Liquified Coconut Oil
If you’re planning on putting the stuff in your mouth as well as in your various other orifices, Extra Virgin Coconut Oil can go a very long way.
Of course, if you’re in a place where the temperature is below coconut oil’s melting point, you will have to warm it up a bit before it is usable in its liquid form. Plus, the warmth makes it feel all the more real.
You can also add a bit of water to alter viscosity to your liking.
Additionally, If you want to keep the mixture in its liquid form, mix it up with body-safe emulsifying wax and you can have it always at the ready!
While Extra Virgin Coconut Oil is safe to use in most orifices, you might not want to swallow gallons of the stuff.
Oil is pretty heavy and can negatively affect your health in large quantities! ( As a Greek, I tend to overdo olive oil and forget how caloric it is myself, so I’m speaking from experience here ). So if you’re planning on drinking the stuff like your life depends on it, you might prefer the next option better, though this one won’t be safe for internal use!
Keep in mind that if you’re a woman and extra sensitive down there, coconut oil might still irritate you. So do a small test before indulging!
I suggest starting with a small drop on the underside of your forearm and if there isn’t any redness, then try it around more sensitive areas before making the jump.
Warnings aside, this is a great option for people who wants one fake cum to do it all!
It’s a great natural cum lube ( if you’re not sensitive to it ), it’s cloudy, and not disgusting in the mouth. I’d just avoid swallowing big amounts of it if you care about your line! All in all, if you’re looking for a great bad dragon cum lube alternative that’s also edible, this is an awesome AND natural solution.
WHERE TO BUY
DIY Edible Fake Cum
Now, what if you actually want to swallow the stuff? There’s a solution, but keep in mind:
It’ll only work for swallowing and getting covered up as I wouldn’t use these recipes internally!
The base is simple, Either use potato starch or corn starch mixed in with water. ( about 4 tablespoons to 1 cup of water )
Next, you will want to heat it up on your stovetop at medium heat until it reaches a light boil. Stir well for about 30 seconds, remove it from the heat and let it cool completely before use/transferring it into bottles.
There are extra steps you can take to modify the recipe for your needs.
- If you want to make it tastier, you can add sweetener to the mix as long as it doesn’t alter the color ( like sugar or stevia ).
- If you want to make it taste more like the real thing, use salt instead of sugar. Ignore everyone online saying to add bleach, they just have a death wish.
- If you want it whiter/creamier, add yogurt! ( Greek yogurt is the thickest, and is an awesome protein supplement! )
- For extra viscosity, others like to add egg whites, though raw eggs aren’t safe to use everywhere in the world. So check how your country regulates this first!
Alternatively, another tasty method is to mix Piña Colada cocktail mixer with water.
It’s pretty realistic looking and tastes pretty nice if you’re into that type of flavor, of course. It’s also simpler than most recipes out there so it’ll leave you with more time to actually indulge! It’s just a little pricer than the starch method above.
So If you love the stuff so much that you just want to drink it, these recipes should do the trick. Just keep in mind that it’s for your skin and your mouth only!
WHERE TO BUY