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When you bang out articles about banging it out, you're just bound to land in Fuck Machine territory.
That's why I was pretty surprised to find that there was almost no good information out there on the subject. Which is a real damn shame since the market is just plagued with expensive worthless duds.
The world deserves the truth dammit! And more importantly: All the robo-pounding in the world.
Therefore, in this article, I've compiled all of my favorite compact and budget models, a DIY hack, as well as full-size and feature-packed sex machines. So whether you have 150$ or 4000$ there's bound to be something for your drawer, closet or sex dungeon!
You'll probably want to check out our Vac-U-Lock Attachments & Toys guide as well since most sex machines come equipped with Vac-U-Lock Adapters by default.
With that being said, here’s our top 11 list of the best sex machines, not necessarily from worst to best, because everyone’s needs and budgets are different.
- 1 Compact & Cheap Sex Machines
- 2 Mid-Range Sex Machines
- 3 High-End Sex Machines
Compact & Cheap Sex Machines
Fun Factory's Stronic Line
Fun Factory has done it again. But it really shouldn't be a surprise coming from a company that has been known for its countless innovations.
But before anything, know that these are far from having the strength of full-size, mains-powered fuck machines. It's also not the point of the Stronic toys. But if you're just looking for a mean drilling, don't despair since we will get to those soon enough.
Now, this little marvel of German engineering is not exactly a vibrator either, it is a... pulsator.
Harnessing the technology of the shake weights, this toy will effectively thrust for you. So instead of looking awkwardly sexual like it's fitness cousin, this device shamelessly wears it on its sleeve!
It has a nice range of functions going from nice & slow pulsations to very rapid almost vibration-like motions. All you need to do is be well lubricated, let go of the handle and let it go to town!
Of course, being so unique, these toys do have a bit of a learning curve to get past to get the most out of them.
You see, while most of us would normally squeeze onto their toys during play, you should do the complete opposite with the Stronics. Relaxing and letting your toy roam freely really is key here. It also helps if you keep a hand out (or prop something up) under the handle so the toy doesn't just shoot out and take out poor Mittens.
And even if the model you choose isn't curved, it'll still work great on the G-spot none-the-less.
Just apply a bit of leverage by pressing down on the handle if you're laying on your back and it'll start hitting your g-spot instead of simply thrusting inside of you. Giving you exactly the type of tapping the G-spot is known to love.
Of course, if you want more of a curve, there's always the Stronic G! This model will have less of a tendency of gliding in and out of you like their more straightforward models. But instead, it will zero in on your G-Spot without having to apply any pressure on the handle.
They're also all rechargeable, almost completely silent, made of pure soft silicone and fully submersible underwater. So if you love baths & Jacuzzis, well, you're welcome.
One thing to note is that the more textured the model you choose the less it'll glide back and forth during play. So keep that in mind while shopping!
Of course, they offer a more subtle and nuanced experience than what these machines have to offer. So if you want a toy to just jackhammer you like there's no tomorrow, these might not do it for you. But the next entries will!
Original Velvet Thrusters
First of all, let's get the obvious out of the way: the original Velvet Thrusters are truly ugly little bastards.
They come in only one horrible pastel color and the design is amateur at best. I mean, it's a brand new toy, yet it looks like it's straight out of the 80s.
But once you've come to terms with that, the Velvet Thrusters are the closest thing to a handheld fuck machine you will ever find.
They're rechargeable, made of silicone, and sport a pretty decent 140 strokes per minute with 3 inches of thrust length. You can also adjust the speed of the strokes with 10 gradual increments and the shaft is flexible enough for extended and comfortable use.
As of now, they offer only 4 different shapes and, again, one horrible color.
With enough lube, the thrusts should be strong enough for anal sex as well.
But it isn't impossible to stall them when clenching, so don't expect the power you'd normally get from a full-size fuck machine.
Another caveat is that, compared to the Stronics, the Thrusters are pretty noisy. But that's a pretty small price to pay to get that sort of thrusting action in such a small package.
It's also worth noting that they're also not entirely hands-free.
You will need to either hold on to your toy or prop it against something if you want to give your hands a break. Of course, a good fix to this issue would be to get the Liberator Wing or Bonbon to hold your toy in place for you.
And in a world of expensive and bulky fucking machines, the Velvet Thrusters are like a breath of fresh air.
Velvet Thruster Mini
You know, I just love it when companies listen to user feedback. And with their newer release, it seems like Velvet Co. is definitely one of the good guys.
For example, their brand new velvet thruster mini is much more visually appealing than their first iteration and offers 3 more colors to pick from! So that's about half of our complaints addressed already.
But upgrades aren't only on the surface. The mini thrusters are cheaper, and they all come equipped with suction cups, finally making them completely hands-free as well.
The handle is also much smaller and comfortable to use, the motors are quieter, and it's much more splashproof than the earlier vented models.
Sadly, the mini still isn't completely waterproof, so you still have to keep it out of the bath. It won't be as fast as the originals on the fastest settings either ( 125 RPMs vs 140 ). But knowing that most users usually don't need the highest speeds on the original, I wouldn't worry about it too much.
Another small caveat is that the Mini Velvet Thruster's insertable end isn't as long or flexible as the OG models.
Thats right, a dual-density density, body-safe, hands-free, thrusting dildo. Perfection is real everyone.
Of course, the length, max speed, and flexibility aren't as good as the original. But it's easy to forget since it'll leave you over 50 dollars richer than the first iteration will.
Launch by Fleshlight
In the past, if you wanted an automatic masturbator, men really could only turn to expensive Fuck machines with Fleshlight attachments. But this method can be awkward and even painful if you end up being a bit misaligned with the machine.
And sadly, your only other option was to blow a 1000$ on the bulky and ugly 4-piece Venus 2000.
Thankfully, the Launch changed all that.
Kiiroo, having already collaborated in the past with Fleshlight to make the skin found inside the Onyx, worked in tandem with them once more to make the best compact automatic masturbator you can find.
Basically, it's meant to hold a Fleshlight and does all the motions for you.
It's compatible with any of the classic Fleshlights, so that gives you plenty of choices to pick from. They offer gender-neutral models as well as replicas of any orifices you can normally have sex with.
You can use it by itself, synchronize it with VR or 2D content or pair it with a Kiiroo vibrator to feel the motions of your partner from any distance. And at 180 strokes per minute, this toy will literally fuck the shit out of you! I mean, pardon my french, it is my mother tongue after all.
But just look at this thing go!
I can think of many ways to use this with a partner.
The Launch can be controlled by the Kiiroo Pearl 2 and Fuse Vibrators over any distance. This means your partner can play with their Kiiroo toy and you will feel your SO's motions being recreated live on the Launch.
And you don't necessarily need to use it across long distances. If you enjoy looking at each other masturbate, you could simply use your toys in the same room and share the sensations in unison.
Like a bit of BDSM? Strap the launch on Mr. and stroke the Kiiroo toy with your hands while you look at him squirm.
The possibilities are almost endless!
Interested in some interactive pornography?
Right now you have to pay for their App but you can find plenty of free compatible videos on Pornhub's interactive section as well.
And with many thanks to programmers like Qdot, you can also extend the compatibility with the other content out there greatly. Something that will make sure that the Launch will have a long and successful life.
If you're curious about all that geeky stuff, you should definitely read this great little Reddit thread.
UPDATE: Fleshlight recently released the Quickshot Launch, which is, as the name implies, a version of the launch made for their Quickshot strokers. And even though the Quickshots are much smaller, It's about as big and just a touch cheaper than the original launch.
The main advantage is that the Quickshots are much easier to maintain and clean than the full-sized fleshlights. But it does come at the cost of suction.
The universal smartphone mount found at the top of this brand new automatic stroker is also a nice addition.
Use it alone, with a partner or along with some interactive content. The options are really endless.
DIY Power Tool Mod Sex Machine
Even cheaper than the previous entries, this DIY hack is a great way to acquire a cheap and powerful fucking machine.
First, you will need a Classic style reciprocating saw.
They can easily be found under 100$(USD) in most parts of the world. And if you don't already own one or you simply don't want to bother shopping for one, you can get an adapter & saw bundle from the dealers' bellow.
Next up you will need a Vac-U-Lock adapter.
This will replace the blade with a strong and stable attachment that is compatible with any Vac-U-Lock Dildo. If you buy from Ken's twisted mind, you can remove the Vac-U-Lock bit and replace it with any other dildo adapter they hold. This way, you don't have to limit yourself to Vac-U-lock only toys.
Finally, you will need a Light Dimmer extension cord.
This is because most reciprocating saws, even though they might have adjustable speeds, are still way to fast for most human orifices. With strokes per minute being usually in the 2000s, the dimmer will make it much smoother and manageable. This simple fix will let you start slow and go as far as you're willing to go.
And if you're the proud owner of a Magic Wand, chances are that you already have your own sex dimmer on hand!
Depending on the quality of your saw, this whole kit can easily be put together with a 100 to 150 dollars (USD).
So what's the catch?
Well, while you will get all the RPMs you could ask for, most reciprocating saws only have 3/4 inch to 1 1/4 inches in stroke length, which is way less than most of the best sex machines on sale today.
Also, this hack is almost impossible to use alone. So it is really only worth it if you're going to use it with the aid of a partner.
It's probably possible to attach it to a bedpost, clamp the button down and control the saw with the dimmer only. But it's quite the hassle and investing a bit more in a sex machine would definitely be a better choice.
Lastly, reciprocating saws are definitely noisier than actual fuck machines.
Plus, feeling like the Terminator when holding this fuck machine really has no price.
But if you want to ride solo or if you're looking for better stroke length, I suggest you keep on reading.
Mid-Range Sex Machines
KTM Sex Machines ( U.S. )
Ken's Twisted Mind's sex machines are handmade in the United-States. They hold a wide variety of quality sex machines, so whatever your budget and needs may be, there's a machine for you.
They're affordable, durable, powerful and to show their dedication to quality handiwork, they all come with a lifetime warranty.
KTM ships Worldwide with North American, European or Australian electrical inputs.
So your fuck machine will work almost anywhere. Naturally, expect some extra shipping fees the further you get from the United States.
All their sex machines come with adjustable stroke length and you can also expect 6 to 7 inches of maximum stroke depth depending on the model.
The length can be adjusted manually without the aid of tools. And thanks to their "Infinite" mechanism, there are no preset positions. So if you have picky bits, you can precisely customize your experience as needed.
The cheaper models can rock a good 200 strokes per minutes and their best sex machine can go as fast as 268 RPMs without breaking a robo-sweat. And depending on the model, you can expect about 20 to 60 Inch-Pound of torque. So let's just say that these things won't stall on you!
Every model also comes with a wired remote control to adjust the speed of the strokes without the aid of a partner.
KTM doesn't stop at making powerful fuck machines either, they also make a multitude of accessories and attachments.
They have rigid or flexible extension arms, suction cups to prevent your sex machine from sliding around, storage bags and an arm to hold your Magic Wand in place during penetration.
Just keep in mind that while the motors are almost silent, if you crank the speed way up, the slides and mechanical parts can get pretty noisy. So if the walls are thin, crank the music up and ride on!
The Sneaky Pete is one of their most popular models. It is cheap, versatile and powerful.
You can also hit all sorts of positions with it and the 3-piece design is also great for rapid assembly and storage.
This also means that it's a perfect sex machine to travel with. But if you enjoy larger toys, the Sneaky Pete Pro might be a better option. It's a tad bit slower but it has almost twice the torque of the original.
The Hide-A-Cock is one of their best budget models, it's perfect for using while laying down in the bed.
So if you're a lazy masturbater, you will enjoy this little guy a lot. Its small footprint also means it's easier to hide than most models and easy to travel with as well. Just keep in mind that any other positions are going to be pretty difficult to achieve.
The Thunder Balls, just like the Hide-A-Cock, is a perfect bed companion.
It has a better range of motion which allows for more positions than just laying down in bed. You can even angle it completely straight up. Again, if you enjoy larger toys, the Thunder Balls Pro would probably be a better choice.
The Nymphoconda is their most expensive and best sex machine.
It can be adjusted to almost any angle you throw at it and can reach up to 40 inches in height ( or 52 inches with the extension arm ).
The Nymphoconda also delivers tons of torque and a maximum of 268 strokes per minute. So needless to say that It'll handle almost anything you can throw at it.
So most of their machines are well worth the investment, especially if you live in the United States.
F-Machine by Cloud 9 Novelties ( Europe )
If you live in the U.K. and want to avoid the shipping and handling from KTM, a better option would be to go with F-Machine.
Just aesthetically, you can already see that they look more sleek and stylish than the rugged industrial-looking sex machines offered by Ken. But you won't get as many options since they only make 2 different models as of now.
The Gigolo is their budget option.
It's best suited for regular users and it won't be able to accommodate very large toys.
It feels modern, enhanced by a blue LED light that shines through its transparent casing on the body. This sex machine can also swivel and glide up and down on its base to hit all sorts of positions and angles.
You can expect up to 240 strokes per minute and 1 to 4 inches of stroke length. And the speeds can be switched via a wired controller or the included wireless remote control.
Unlike all the KTM fucking machines, you will also need a tool to adjust the stroke length and you have to rely on the preset positions given.
It's also a bit of a bitch to assemble and pull apart, so it might not be the best option to travel with or stash in a pinch.
The Pro III is for people who enjoy the finer things in life.
At about 26 inch-pound in torque, it'll be able to accommodate larger toys if the need arises and it is a definite upgrade over the Gigolo.
Their best sex machine sports a maximum of 280 strokes per minute and 1 to 6 inches of stroke length.
Unlike the Gigolo, you don't need any tools to adjust the length of the stroke. You will also be able to adjust the speed much more precisely thanks to its wired dial.
And whether it's for traveling or simply putting it away when the family comes over, the Pro II very easy to disassemble and put back together.
Like most self-respecting fuck machines, both models come outfitted with a Vac-U-Lock attachment.
There's not a lot of accessories available for the F-Machines but you do get the essentials. They offer a dildo doubler for double penetration and a pretty good universal dildo holder as well.
A nice win over KTM is that you can switch the Voltage on your electrical input to match with the country you're in.
So all you need is to get a lead that works in the country you're in and you're all set.
Like most sex machines, they're relatively silent at slow speeds and get significantly louder on the maximum settings.
Just make sure to get your own silicone dildos, since the included toy isn't the safest toy around.
So if you live in Europe or you simply prefer the modern design found on these machines over what KTM does, you should definitely consider them.
Hismith Sex Machine ( China )
I usually never push Chinese made, amazon toys. But you can consider this sex machine one of the rare exceptions.
They ship almost anywhere and if you live in some parts of Europe, Asia or Australia, it might also be the only decent fuck machine you can get without spending an arm and a leg on shipping.
As you might've noticed, this device looks and works a lot like the Sneaky Pete and Pro II. Just like these two machines, the position and stroke length can easily be adjusted without the need for tools. You can also expect about 240 strokes per minute and 2 to 6 inches in stroke length.
The Hismith also delivers enough torque to work with most large toys. But you might need to prop the sex machine against a wall or something heavy if you don't want it to rock under the weight of some of the bulkier toys.
Unlike the Sneaky Pete and Pro II, the Hismith can also be used completely upright and remain stable without any issues.
It also comes shipped with a carry bag with a thick foam insert to keep your sex machine safe while you travel about.
As of now, there are two options to choose from. And both models will come shipped with the power supply of the country it was ordered from.
The "New Designed Edition" is the standard model, it comes with the classic wired controller and a cheaper price tag.
The "Updated Edition" sports a slightly better motor that's less prone to overheating after 30 minutes of continuous use. It also comes with a wireless remote control along with the classic controller.
You'll be also glad to find that there's plenty of attachment and accessories to choose from.
They offer Vac-U-Lock, suction cup, and dildo doubler adapters, as well as rigid and flexible extension arms and toy clamps. Just avoid their Magic Wand Holder, since it isn't strong enough to support the weight of the wand.
Just keep in mind that none of the adapters are included with the machine, so be sure to add them to your cart before checking out.
The main downside is that the parts for these fuck machines are mass-produced and assembled, so your chances of getting defective units are larger than if you order from KTM or F-Machine. But if you contact their customer support, they should be able to fix those issues promptly.
And like most sex machine companies, you should also stay clear of their dildos.
High-End Sex Machines
After reading about all of those sex machines equipped only for penetration, you must think I just don't care much about vibrations. Well, the Tremor has more vibration (and rotation) than anyone could ask for.
If you're familiar with straddle style vibrators, you might be wondering why it isn't the Sybian you're looking at. To put it simply, the Tremor performs better, looks better and is easier to clean at a fraction of the price.
Before I get into the nitty-gritty, it's good to know that saddle style vibrators aren't for everyone.
If you're the type of person who, after a session with their Magic Wand, thinks they could use even more power, you will absolutely love the Tremor. If you're into rotations or even forced orgasms, you will also get a lot out of it.
Otherwise, you're better off saving your money for something else.
This saddle style sex machine rotates at 7000 RPMs and vibrates from 0 to 160 rotations per minute. And both features can be controlled independently thanks to the included wired controller.
The Tremor comes out of the box with 2 silicone attachments, one for external play and another for penetration.
Another great innovation over the Sybian is the removable silicone pad that covers the Tremor.
While the Sybian sells a fluid-proof cover separately, this cover comes included with every model and is completely sanitizable. So if you plan on using this sex machine on more than one person or you just want a machine that's easy to clean up, it doesn't get much more hygienic than that.
To top it all off, just like the Sybian, they offer a generous 2-year warranty.
The only real downside is that these straddle-style fuck machines are all pretty damn loud. But at this point, it doesn't really matter since, if you straddle this powerful toy, you won't be exactly silent either.
While we're aware that the power offered by saddle-style vibrators is not for everyone, the Tremor is still a major improvement in price and features over the now outdated Sybian.
This is the best option for any modern-day power queen who's next logical step is actually strapping themselves to the engine of a fighter jet.
Are you a little bit bougie at heart?
Better than Sybian isn't enough for you?
Or are you in a long-distance relationship with the biggest power queen in town?
Well, the Cowgirl is another Sybian alternative covered in beautiful vegan leather that has more features than any other straddle-style vibrator out there.
Just like the other models, it comes with two silicone attachments that are interchangeable between all the other competitor's attachments. It also features adjustable vibrations and rotations that can be controlled via a wired controller. But this is where the similarities end.
For one, the Cowgirl is probably the only saddle that offers vibration patterns as well as regular constant vibrations.
But most importantly, it can be App controlled from any distance. So it is officially the most powerful toy made for long-distance relationships.
It is also the most comfortable and visually appealing design available so far. Covered in vegan leather with a guitar amp style jack to plug in the beautifully crafted controller, it's obvious that the Cowgirl was inspired by high-end music gear. And I don't think you have to be a musician to appreciate what they did there.
The only real downside with this powerful sex machines is that it is probably the most expensive option when it comes to straddle-style vibrators. But considering what it has to offer, it is well worth the investment for those with money to spare!
Comfortable, beautiful, feature-packed, app-controlled and extremely powerful, the Cowgirl obviously has a lot to offer.
So if you're a power queen with deep pockets, this is the droid you're looking for.
Shockspot Sex Machines
The Shockspot is simply the best sex machine available on the market today.
They outperform and have more features than any other fuck machine money can buy.
These luxury sex machines offer speeds up to 24 inches per second and about 105 pounds in torque and stroke length will depend on the model you choose. The classic and Dual Thruster models offer 8 inches max in stroke length and there's also a 12-inch capable device as well.
So not only can the Shockspots accommodate larger toys, but they can also thrust deeper than any other sex machine out there.
One of my favorite features is that you can control the stroke length directly on the controllers with no need to interface with the fuck machine itself. Meaning that you can change the stroke depth without having to get up and stop the machine in the process.
And if you weren't paying attention earlier, that's really a first for sex machines!
The frame of the Shockspot is also one of the most versatile we've seen.
It can hit pretty much any angle you can throw at it and you can also completely fold down the Shockspot for easy storage.
This means it is not only easy to travel with but, once you're done, you can also just stash it under the bed. No disassembly required.
With the Touch and Feel PC Software, you can either pick from the included presets or make your own programs. Once this is all set, all you have to do you is press the palm button to set the machine in motion once you're in position.
The Shockspot can either be controlled by you or from anywhere else in the world. This makes the Shockspot perfect for solo use as well as for long-distance relationships and cam performers.
The remote control is optional and gives you control over the depth, speed, and smoothness of the strokes. This way, you don't need a PC to operate your sex-machine.
The Fleshlight and V-Stroker combo is also a favorite for couples in long-distance relationships as well as cam performers. During use, the strokes on the masturbator are replicated on the Shockspot no matter how far your partner is.
Just like most fucking machines, they come outfitted with Vac-U-Lock adapters by default.
If you need more options, they also offer a pretty good universal dildo adapter as well as a Fleshlight holder.
Just be careful when adding and removing dildos or attachments. Moving the rod side to side can damage the internal parts of the sex machine so make sure you apply force only in the direction of the stroke.
Lastly, the Shockspot comes with a 1-Year warranty.
The only improvements I would like to see in the future is an iOS equivalent to the touch and feel app as well as support for smartphones. But from what I heard, these features might very well be on their way.
A dildo doubler could also be a nice addition, especially for the people who can't afford the Dual Thruster.
UPDATE: While the Shockspots could only be controlled remotely through their PC app in the past, they're now compatible with Chaturbate, one of the world-leading sex cam site.
A little feature that should make a lot of performers happy, allowing them to bring more value to their audience than ever before!
If you can afford it and you're looking for the best sex machine experience that money can buy, I have no idea what you are still doing on this blog.