To see the prices of the toys, click the links after their description. They are not included in the articles since they are subject to change.
Whether you're a lesbian, a heterosexual man or just someone who prefers simple and beautiful designs, chances are you're not looking for a realistic dildo.
So if you're turned off by folds and veins galore, you've landed in the right place folks!
Because in this article, we will cover the best semi-realistic, unrealistic and abstract dildos available today.
And almost all of these one-way tickets to Smashville are Harness Compatible, so fans of pegging, strap-on lesbos, and trans men rejoice!
They're also almost all safe to use for anal play. So as long as there is a base, you should be good to go.
Otherwise, If you are not looking for an unrealistic dildo, refer to our realistic dildos list where you're bound to find what you're looking for!
And if you're looking for truly large toys, you're better off reading our large sex toys list.
That being said, here’s our top 15 list of the best unrealistic dildos, not necessarily from worst to best, because everyone’s needs and budgets are different.
- 1 Cheap Dildos
- 2 Mid-Range Dildos
- 3 High-End Dildos
Luxe collection Dildos by Blush Novelties
This is as cheap as an unrealistic dildo gets.
The Luxe line of toys by blush novelties are all made of silky smooth brushed silicone. And while it might add a bit of drag to your toy, it is nothing that a bit of extra lube won't fix.
Still, If you prefer glossy silicone over brushed you'll probably be happier with most of the toys further down on the list.
They come in a variety of sizes and all their non-vibrating models are strap-on compatible. If you prefer larger/longer toys, this is where they lack in options.
But don't fret size queens( and kings ), because the Maia line of silicone dildos (U.K.) come in bigger, more filling sizes and are very similar in quality and price.
Our only real concern is that some of the models look like straight-up Tantus replicas.
It's also worth noting that these toys are not the most flexible or squishy silicone toys on this list.
But if rigid toys are uncomfortable for you, or if you'd like a suction cup, we highly suggest you keep on reading!
Avant by Blush Novelties
If you invest a little more, blush novelties also hold the beautiful Avant line.
These unique designs are all hand poured layer after layer with premium body-safe silicone.
They're more flexible, squishy and, to top it all off, come with strong suction cups.
In this collection, you will find anything from almost non-phallic to semi-realistic designs
And while it changes nothing about the toys themselves, we love the cultural references used in the toy names.You can buy the classic black, white and red "Sin city" dildo. Or maybe you prefer the funky & forever sexy "Purple Rain". We truly believe that Prince would be honored to be immortalized as a stylish purple dildo.
We're also big fans of their G-Spot and P-Spot champion; the "Pride" dildo!
The Avant line has toys starting at 5.25 inches to 6.5 inches in insertable length, and 1.25 to 1.75 inches in width.
So while most would be satisfied with this, people who enjoy larger toys might feel a bit left out.
If you're looking for bigger toys, you might feel a little underwhelmed. But otherwise, this is a solid little collection that shouldn't be ignored.
Icicles by Pipedream
The Icicles line is the most affordable and biggest collection of glass toys we've seen so far.
On top of being little works of art, Glass toys are frictionless, easy to sanitize and compatible with all lubes.
Also don't worry, being made of Borosilicate ( often known as Pyrex ), these glass toys are pretty damned hard to break. If it wasn't the case, they sure wouldn't be that popular!
Just keep in mind that glass toys have less give than other materials, so go a size down if you don't want any surprises.
Glass toys can also hold temperature pretty well, so they are perfect for temperature play.
Just don't put it in the freezer unless you want to end up with a frozen pole and tongue situation down there. We generally suggest simply running hot or cold water on the toy before play.
For those looking for strap-on compatible glass toys, the Icicles no.5, 28, 53, 61, 62, and 63 are all good choices.
Just beware, some of the tinted models have been known to have the colors peel off while boiling and we would doubt its the most body-safe options out there. The only accounts we've heard of so far were on the red glass toys.
But a lot of the other colored models should be fine since the color is usually inside the glass.
But other than that, these beautiful, hygienic & frictionless toys are well worth trying!
Blush's Nude Impressions
Finding a good dildo with a suction cup that is both body-safe and affordable is hard work.
What's even harder is finding an unrealistic dildo that does all of the above while vibrating as well.
And the Blush's Nude Impressions are here to change that.
On top of being very affordable ( a thing we've come to expect from Blush ) for the many features they hold, they're 100% waterproof and have 10 different vibrating modes.
The strength of the vibrations aren't phenomenal but aren't weak either. So the power of these hands-free sex toys should satisfy most people.
All these toys come in abstract and unconventional shapes and even if that's not your thing, they're still one hell of a bargain.
Also, if you're having trouble charging your toy, be sure that you push the plug all the way in since it's not obvious how far the plug should go.
Following closely behind indie companies, big manufacturers seem to all have jumped on the dual-density wagon. Realnude is Blush's attempt at making their own version of this popular silicone combo.
And being one of our favorite affordable sex toy manufacturers, our expectations were high. And we're happy to say that, as usual, they delivered.
More Semi-Realistic than completely abstract, they come in one skin tone as well as having pink and blue options for most of their models.
So how does their Dual Density Silicone compare to the competition? Well, like most blends, they're squishier than Tantus's O2, and the firm inner core is one of the bendiest around.
But most importantly, suction cups come included with every model.
A feature that rarely makes an appearance in Dual-density toys, with only a few Vixskin toys having passable suction cups.
We'd even go as far as saying that they're the best suction cups you can find on Dual Density silicone toys. An impressive feat coming from such a budget option.
I mean, what more can you ask for?
Even if you were planning on spending buckets of cash on the best dildo you can find, it's hard to let the Realnudes pass. And at that price, you might just as well get both.
By now, you guys should know that we just love independent toymakers and Funkit is no exception.
This one-man operation makes gorgeous artful pieces as well as dirt cheap, quality dildos.
A rare thing coming from such a small company.
The aptly named Nofrilldos are exactly what the name suggests. They're cheap as hell, small and simple with a nice glossy finish.
You can get them in many colors and in three different minimalist shapes.
If you're ready to spend a bit more, their signature toys almost all come in gorgeous transparent silicone, with opaque and colorful patterns on the inside.
Just like the Nofrilldos, the glossy finish barely has any drag and should slip right in without a hitch.
The transparency coupled with the slippery finish really bridges the gap between glass and silicone in a beautiful way.
So if you always loved the idea of glass toys, but you disliked the rigidness of it, Funkit toys are a great alternative.
Split peaches is another favorite indie company of ours.
And now that you're aware of it, it'll probably become your one-stop shop for Minimalistic, cute or whimsical designs.
They have simple and colorful designs as well as quirky ones like their ever-popular unicorn horns.
And they're one of the rare companies to offer sizes for the more petite as well as for hardened size queens.
So it doesn't matter if you prefer your cute unicorn horns tiny or huge!
If you'd fancy something a little more rugged they've also got the popular "Rivetor" and "Screw you" dildos. They are beautiful metallic looking silicone toys that look more like torture devices than pleasure objects.
Every single toy comes in many sizes, from beginner to very large and they also offer a ton of beautiful color choices as well.
They aim to fill a gap ( wink, wink ) in an untapped market and this is what makes them so interesting, unique, and, most of all, worthy of this list!
Just note that while it's always better to shop directly on their site, SheVibe sometimes carry some cool discontinued colors as well.
The Tantus Line of toys has the largest selection of high-quality silicone toys.
And while most of their toys are made of glossy frictionless silicone, they still have a few matte models as well.
We would also like to give a special mention to their Flurry, Cush, and Duchess.
Their beautiful designs along with Tantus's dual-density squishy O2 silicone make these toys some the best in their collection.
Their non-realistic dual-density silicone O2 toys are also a nice option in a world where dual-density toys seem only reserved for realistic toys.
Fun Factory Dildos
Fun Factory is an established German company with tons of innovative designs.
But their quest to push the envelope hasn't stopped them from using their expertise to make some good old traditional dildos either.
Most of their Minimalistic dildos are on the firmer side and come with a matte finish.
It's something that can make the toys a little draggy, but with a bit of extra water lube, you shouldn't feel the difference.
They offer a variety of standard silicone dildos with comprehensive sizes starting from their small Amor to their larger Boss.
And each one of these toys come with a pretty unique flat base that doubles as a suction cup.
Like a lot of silicone suction cups, they can be hit and miss, but it is still a welcome addition.
And if you're feeling a little more adventurous, their Bouncer dildo comes with Ben-Wa-like balls that move inside the shaft as you move it, for some extra sensation.
Fun Factory also makes a nice range of rechargeable Vibrating dildos that are completely waterproof.
Their cheaper models are perfect for most people, but if you'd rather have stronger, rumblier toys, you should take a look at their G5 dildos.
And if you want to have a taste of Fun Factory's innovative style, you should definitely check out their Stronic Line as well.
Of course, if you'd prefer squishier and smoother toys, you might feel a little left out.
But for anyone else, their collection is well worth checking out.
BS Atelier Dildos
When it comes to great indie companies, BS Atelier ( or BS is Nice ) is another dildo maker that shouldn't be skipped.
Their toys are all hand-made in Spain by a feminist and queer-friendly team.
So there's no guilt associated with supporting this small business, something that we can't say about some of the larger companies.
Every hand-poured dildos are unique, redefining the meaning of "Art Lover" one toy at a time.
So if you ever wanted to have sex with a Pollock painting, this is as close as you'll get!
Their toys come in a limited amount of shapes with their Alex being the smallest and Max the biggest.
And for people who are looking for a more intense curve, their G-Spot dildos come in 3 different sizes as well.
But no matter which model you go for, most of these toys are rigid and curvy enough to provide some good G-spot stimulation as well.
As mentioned above, they have beautiful Pollock-like designs, but they also carry interesting layered dildos reminiscent of the cheap Avant dildos by Blush.
These layered toys also come in a variety of different LGBTQ flag colors, so they make great gifts for your favorite queermos.
But if you're into real squishy and/or textured toys, these might not do it for you.
Luxe by Calexotics
The Luxe Touch-Sensitive dildos are probably the only high-end vibrating suction cup dildos available today.
While it seems that every other type of toy has gotten the high-end treatment, suction cup dildos have been completely left behind.
The Semi-Realistic Luxe aims to fix that and does it beautifully with a pretty unique feature to boot.
Its rechargeable, waterproof and comes with 10 different vibrating modes and innovative touch-sensitive sensors.
You see, the deeper you stroke, the stronger the vibrations get.
And instead of being just a simple gimmick, it actually makes this semi-realistic dildo even more hands-free whether it's stuck on a wall or in a strap-on.
Sadly, the luxe comes in only one rather universal size, but to soften the blow, you do get a nice range of colors to choose from.
Throw in some pretty unique features and some decent vibrations as well and you've got an unrealistic dildo that is in a league of its own.
That's right, another indie company!
What can I say, we're all suckers for sex toy artisans here at Tabooless.
And Uberimme is one of those rare independent companies that broke through the Etsy world and landed spots in some of the most popular stores of today.
Something that is quite understandable since they make some of the most beautiful marbled silicone designs we've ever seen.
These pieces of fuckable art come in a variety of abstract and fantasy designs.
And while most of them are uniquely textured, they're not that overwhelming since their silicone has a fair amount of squish to it.
We also big fans their glow-in-the-dark toys like their re-imagination of the classic Jellyfish dildo and the Dr. Manathan.
Uberrime also makes a great dual-density dildo named the Splendid.
And while not entirely unrealistic in shape, the interesting colors it comes in sure balances it out.
Splendid's silicone has a consistency that lies between the harder O2 by Tantus and the softer Vixskin by Vixen creations, so it's a great middle ground for people who are torn between the two.
But for those who are still reading this, these toys are perfect for people who love their beautiful dildos with just the right amount of squish and texture.
We suggest browsing at both SheVibe and Peepshow Toys since their selection of premade toys are entirely different. Of course, if you'd rather have a custom made dildo by Uberrime, you should head to their Etsy Store instead.
If you like your glam with a side of artistry, you will love Crystal Delights.
Handmade in very durable borosilicate glass, almost every unique piece comes adorned with a genuine Swarovski crystal.
They make gorgeous dildos ( and butt plugs ) in all sorts of different shapes and sizes.
A lot of what has been said about the previous cheaper and mass-produced Icicles is also true about these toys.
Just keep in mind that, like with any other Swarovski toys, you should avoid boiling for clean up, since it could dislodge the crystals.
Their classic models are simple and beautiful and all come with a Swarovski Crystal on the base.
Otherwise, if you're feeling adventurous, their twist dildo will provide a sensation like no other. Literally meant to screw yourself, this twisted unrealistic dildo might seem scary and be intimidating at first. But once you get past its looks, it is actually known to feel amazing on G-Spots and prostates alike, thanks to its many pronounced ridges.
Just remember that this dildo is meant for twisting, and not thrusting!
If you want something even more minimalistic than their classic dildos, they do offer a nice set of dilators. While they are mostly made for women suffering from vaginismus or trans women going through SRS, the wide range of sizes along with the tapered and smooth shafts will work well for almost anyone looking for a simple glass dildo.
So if you want every single part of you to look like a million bucks, you know what to do.
Raquel and Mustang by Vixen Creations
O how we love Vixen Creations' Vixskin dual-density silicone toys.
They all feature a firm inner core and the squishiest outer core we've ever seen.
They're comfortable to use and feel as natural as a toy can get.
If only they made more unrealistic models in that more-than-perfect material.
Still, they left us with two absolutely great options to satisfy our needs: The smaller Raquel and the thicker Mustang.
Now while Raquel looks nothing like a penis the Mustang is, sadly, not entirely unrealistic.
The mold, being pretty real-looking, is somehow balanced out by the bright funky colors it comes in. From our experience, often a nice unnatural color goes a long way in making some people who would otherwise be deterred by realistic dildos switch to the other side.
Both models also come with pretty decent suction cups, making these two some of our favorite unrealistic dildos.
If you don't mind realistic shapes when coupled with flashy colors, the posable pack and play dildos from NYTC are also great options. It also helps that they're some of the best g-spotting and prostate dildos around.
Update: Since we first wrote this entry, Vixen Creations has released even more colorful versions of their classic toys.
Unrealistic dual-density toys are so rare and I know a lot of people that would be very happy to have more options available to them in that department.