There’s something so satisfying about a good solid vibrating dildo.
Much like a magic wand, it’s a staple in most anyone’s toy chest. You can use it as a dildo when the batteries are dead, as a vibrator when you’re not feeling penetration, or as both when you’re feeling opulent!
With so many options out there, and most being made out of unsafe materials, it can be overwhelming to try and find one that’s a good bang for your buck (pun intended).
This is why I’ve tried out a wide selection of vibrating dildos to help narrow down your selection to what suits you perfectly. (Warning: you still might have trouble picking between one or two… so treat yourself, and get both!)
Satisfyer has had a whirlwind of success in the last decade. Their affordable air-pulse toys have been staples in nightstands due to their power, but how do their vibrating dildos compare?
I love the squishy silicone shaft, and find it to be kind of like a unicorn in this way! Rarely do I ever find vibrating dildos with such a squishy shaft and head, and it was quite a surprise. We have a looped handle, so you know I’m into that, and it’s a combination of shiny plastic with silicone wrapping around the base.
Obviously, with a name like “Yummy Sunshine”, the color does not disappoint. It’s rare to find toys that aren’t in the typical shades of black/pink/purple (or the latest aqua trend), and I love that it sets it apart!
Besides being waterproof (which is becoming more of an industry-standard), the main pull of this toy is that it’s meant to be angled perfectly for hitting the G-spot. There are ridges and texture galore on the shaft of the toy, and for some, that’s going to be a plus! Sadly for me, it’s just a bit too textured for my personal taste so I’m not demoting points for that.
A big plus? Like most of Satisfyer’s toys, it can connect and be controlled via Bluetooth and a smartphone app! For people who are in long-distance relationships, this can be a hugely beneficial feature, especially since the app is one of the best on the app store right now.
Of course, the loop handle is awesome, but it’s also clearly a rip-off of the classic Fun Factory Vibes ( more on this later! ).
I really wanted to adore this toy, considering how much I’ve loved their toys in the past but sadly the vibrations were kind of lackluster for me. They’re not bad, but compared to the others on the list they’re slightly forgettable.
If you’re someone who doesn’t need jackhammer-level power to get off and want an affordable toy that allows for you and your sweetheart (or a sexy stranger) to play around, this is probably the ideal toy. Heck, if you’re considering it but aren’t too sure, I’d still strongly suggest picking it up as a sexy treat for yourself!
Almost everyone I know has bought a Colours dildo as their first toy! The toy is kind of the typical vibrating dildo and does its job very well, and while some people might turn their nose up at the smaller to average size, I think this would be a perfect toy for someone who’s just starting to figure out what they like. (Or for anal, always for anal.)
Similar to the Neo Elite Encore, this toy is made of super squishy silicone. At first, it can feel sticky to the touch but becomes very slick with a little bit of lubricant (my favorite type of silicone!).
This is a very straightforward toy with no bells and whistles. There’s one motor near the head of the shaft that straddles the line between buzzy and rumbly, and it does a great job!
The toy is very flexible as well, another reason why I find it a perfect first toy (or for anal).
It’s a very nice vibrator! Unfortunately, compared to the others on this list, it comes off as a bit unremarkable. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, but for someone like myself who’s been using toys for more than a decade, I’m just not the target audience.
The vibrations are average to moderate in strength, and the veins on the toy were an enjoyable added texture. For myself, I can see using this with a partner who’s not into oversized toys but otherwise, the dildo is pretty average across all categories. It’s absolutely one I’d recommend for a newcomer, but if you’ve already developed a taste for motorized dick… I’d maybe skip this one.
Some people just don’t like dicks. That’s okay! We’re here for all flavors and interests, but sometimes it can be hard to find a strong vibrating dildo that isn’t trying to replicate every vein perfectly. What’s a person to do? Uh, do the Impressions Amsterdam! It’s only one of the many different shapes and sizes offered from their line of ultra-strong and very affordable vibrating dildos.
The Impressions Amsterdam, previously known as the N1, has a soft and velvety silicone exterior similar to the Big Boss or Yummy Sunshine. It feels luxurious and soft while the core is quite firm.
While there are no hyper-tech features like a smartphone app or remote control, the toy has exactly what you’re looking for… strong and consistent vibrations! This is perfect for the person who doesn’t want to have an “Uncanny Valley” level of realism that some other toys try to achieve while providing you with all the best vibration and stimulation around.
It’s waterproof and also features a suction cup, which actually holds the toy firmly in place no matter if it’s horizontal or vertical (or diagonal for those real freaks out there).
I’m impressed! The vibrations are very strong, and while the shape of the toy isn’t exactly to my liking, the vibrations were more than enough to be felt and thoroughly enjoyed. Take a peek at their lineup, and you’ll definitely find something that fits your ideal shape and size for a budget price.
I will admit something right off the bat: when I first wrapped my hands around the Rialto, I wasn’t impressed. I’m into dense silicone toys (the heavier the better), and the shaft of the Rialto felt slightly hollow in a way that put me off. I was prepared to be a scathingly shrewd critic until I tried it!
The body is made of silicone but seems to be a kind of sheath over the inner motorized core of the toy. To the touch, the quality of the silicone is actually quite nice! It’s both velvety while being shockingly smooth and cool to the touch.
The downside, for me, is the fact that from the head to mid-shaft the toy feels hollow. If you wrap your hands around it, the silicone sheath sticks to the hardcore. The sensation is very unpleasant and puts a bad taste in my… uh, vag.
While the Rialto doesn’t have any of the bells and whistles of the other toys on this list like smartphone apps or a controller, it does have two motors. What sets the Rialto apart from toys like the Ballistic is that the two motors don’t aim to overstimulate you with power, but add complexity to vibration patterns!
(Oh also it’s waterproof, but you probably guessed that by now.)
This is Rialto’s redeeming feature, in my eyes. The patterns were shockingly good! They’re so well engineered that I actually exclaimed, “oh wow” out loud to no one.
So you know how some toys have patterns like waves where it goes up and down in strength? The Rialto’s patterns don’t seem to ever turn off but juggle back and forth between the two motors. Personally, patterns can kind of titillate but frustrate me when they power down to nothing. I want my partners to tease me, not my toys! The Rialto keeps you in near-constant stimulation, with rumbly vibrations that surprised me after my lukewarm first impression of the toy.
Too bad the body of the toy still bugs me. It’s so close to being a fantastic vibe but the material still leaves something to be desired.
I literally gasped when I opened the box to view this bad boy. It is BIG. It’s not just an impressive 8.5 inches long, but also 1.8 inches thick. This might not seem like a lot, but when you grip it in person you start to understand that this toy means business.
I don’t know what it is but this toy is everything I didn’t know I wanted. It’s got an incredibly squishy silicone body while not being so dense that it blocks out the sensations of the vibe.
The toy’s color is also quite unique; the inner flexible core of the toy seems to be a solid purple shade, while the squishy silicone exterior is a frosted white. It makes the toy look slightly fantastical, and makes me think of some kind of purple Hulk.
The Neo Elite Encore has nearly got it all! It’s waterproof, flexible (and holds its shape), and comes with a remote for easier solo or partner play. The fact that the design also has balls means that it is also anal-safe! The only thing it doesn’t have is a smartphone app, which would actually make it a heaven-sent toy and possibly ruin partnered sex for me forever.
There’s also a suction cup, but similar to the issue with the Ballistic, I found it would often fall off the wall of my tub. (And yes, I know, I test a lot of my toys in the shower.) It doesn’t mean the suction cup is totally useless though, as it helped stabilize the toy if you ride it!
This toy is so satisfying that I wanted to lay back down and smoke a cigarette with this toy (despite being a nonsmoker).
With loads of water-based lube, the slightly sticky silicone turns into a slick dick worth fucking. The size is similar to the Big Boss, but as this type of silicone is much squishier it’s easier to insert and feels delightful inside. I was convinced that the vibrations were likely going to be meek and weak, but holy cannoli they’re powerful! While the toy is much larger than what I’d usually grab after a long day of work, I still will keep it close by when I’m feeling truly hedonistic.
If the Ballistic ( more on this one below ) feels like lightning, the Big Boss feels like thunder. I have an appreciation for the German-made toy company, and they’re well respected by toy enthusiasts all over the world! While it might have a more light-hearted name, this is a luxury toy that will outlive any other toy hands-down. (Heck, I’m pretty sure we’ll see people wielding them as weapons in the Mad Max dystopian future we seem to be edging closer towards.)
Everything about this toy feels incredibly well made and luxurious.
The silicone is velvety and hard with a slight squish to it. The plastic handle feels slick and glass-like. Even the buttons are easy and fantastic to press, which is such a savior when your hand gets slick with lube! Absolutely everything about this toy feels precise and indescribably sturdy.
You’ve got your basic features like being waterproof, but this toy was thoughtfully engineered with a little extra something. You know when you’re in the middle of enjoying a toy, thrusting away with careless abandon, but your toy keeps sliding out of your hands? The Big Boss features possibly the most sensible thing ever: the base of the toy is a looped handle! This is particularly helpful for folks who have issues with dexterity or need a little extra length to really get their groove on.
The Big Boss also has some shape with a bulbous head and slightly raised veins. Even though this is one of the biggest toys on the list, it doesn’t feel unapproachable.
Personally, I find this toy is one of the most similar to the natural sensations of penetration. It’s not a thrusting toy, but because the vibrations are so rumbly, it feels closer to the deep pressure of having another person pressed against you.
The vibrations are comfortable, solid, and feel really great. Is it an electric shock to your vag? No, but sometimes you don’t want to be cattle prodded into an orgasm. Even the patterns are enjoyable and seem to have been developed with a fair amount of thought.
Before using the Big Boss, make sure you are ready. This isn’t a small toy, so please don’t skimp on the water-based lube!
I’m not sure why I wasn’t expecting much from the Ballistic vibrator. It’s probably a sense of snobbery, but I left it by the wayside to try out the other toys. (Poor Ballistic.)
But holy fuck. It is absolutely one of my favorites of the bunch, and possibly has the strongest motor on any handheld toy I’ve ever tried.
The dildo is a velvety smooth pink silicone and comes with a wireless remote control. I’m giving the Ballistic a slightly unimpressive score here for two reasons: I found the silicone to be a bit too hard for my personal preference. (Who in their right mind has ever complained about a dick being too hard?) If I could, my bits would prefer a slightly squishier silicone but I understand that the trade-off is that it would absolutely dampen the vibrations.
Also, the remote control has a tendency to either get stuck or the plastic cover over the batteries tends to fall off or not fit seamlessly (which was frustrating when my hands were wet or lube-y).. That’s easily remedied by just using the buttons directly on the toy to control it, but if the main selling point for you is the remote control be aware that it leaves something to be desired.
This toy has it all. I’m not joking. It is possibly the most multipurpose dick I have ever experienced. (Sorry to my past hookups and partners.)
With two impressively strong motors, the Ballistic has 10 speeds and patterns but trust me when I tell you the lowest speed is probably more than enough for you. If you go any higher, it feels like you’re being electrocuted… it’s that strong!
It’s waterproof and features a suction cup, but since the Ballistic is quite heavy the suction cup will not keep the toy fixed to a wall. If you’re planning on straddling the toy, it works pretty decently but whatever you do, don’t expect it to stay horizontal. I made that mistake and the sound of it crashing down in my tub scared me so hard my butt plug almost shot out of my body. You’ve been warned!
As a wordy writer and chatterbox extraordinaire, it’s rare for me to struggle to find the words to describe something. Having experienced the Ballistic… any word that I use to express my deep love of this toy will sound hyperbolic.
Do you have sensitive bits?
Can a cool breeze make you cum?
Do not pick up this toy. This toy is not for you, it might kill you (only slightly exaggerating).
I’ll paint you an erotic word picture: a partner and I were fucking, and I wanted to try something new. As a queer trans man, I prefer anal sex to vaginal sex (blame atrophy on that). So, I asked my partner if he’d like to try penetrating me anally while the Ballistic was buzzing inside me but upfront. He was skeptical but curious.
Within possibly 10-15 seconds, we both came loudly. I mean, one of those “oh OH OH NO” kind of sudden bursts of panicked ecstasy.
THIS TOY DOES NOT FUCK AROUND.
He felt the vibrations so strongly that it felt like I had become some kind of uber-realistic fucking toy (this better not awaken anything in me). If you are into extremely strong toys and want a novel tool that’s also multi-use, check this out!