Warning: the toys listed in this round-up review will make you climax so hard that it’ll feel like your soul is being (lovingly) ripped from your body. It will feel so intense that you will pull away at the last moment just before climaxing, too afraid to have your genitals blast off and shoot themselves directly into the sun.
You have been warned.
For the last decade, air pulse toys have been the new darlings of the sex toy world. Despite being specifically air pulses (emphasis on pulses), they can give the user a kind of suction-like sensation, which is why so many people have called them “blowjob simulators”.
For a trans man, the prospect of a toy providing a “blowjob experience” was supremely enticing. I mean, this decade has already decided to suck out all the serotonin from my brain so why couldn’t I fight back with some happy chemicals of my own?
However, trying to find a FTM suction toy that would fit meant running into the same problem over and over again: after being on testosterone for a few years, which toys would fit my bits?
I wasn’t the only one worried about this either. After mentioning my sizable issue to some trans friends, they lamented about the same concern regarding size. No one wanted to drop some serious cash on a promise of pleasure, then find out they were too big to ride.
There was also the issue of dysphoria: which toys would be the most gender-neutral in design, so as to not make anyone feel dysphoric?
So upon hearing of my plight, I was generously sent a few toys by Shevibe.com to test and compare.
Ratings will be on:
- Power + Function
- Sound
- Aesthetic
- Fit + Use
- Trans Specific Concerns
Let’s get started!
Contents
TL;DR
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Cheapest suction toy for medium T-dicks |
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Best Air-Pulse toy for smaller / pre-T bits |
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Most suction & power for smaller / pre-T bits |
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Most high-end Air-Pulse toy for medium to large bits |
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Best air-pulse toy overall for larger bottom growths |
Satysfyer Pro Penguin
Are you curious about air pulse toys but aren’t willing to drop a hundred dollars on a new toy without testing the waters first? Enter: Satisfyer Pro Penguin.
It’s a bread-and-butter FTM suction toy, and while it lacks the bells and whistles of the other models mentioned above, it has more than enough power to get the job done. It really means business, check out its bowtie!
Power + Function: 3/5
I’ll be absolutely honest: this toy was fun, but isn’t the most memorable in terms of the power it provides. The Satisfyer Pro Penguin is very similar to the other Satisfyer toys, and leans more towards a “buzzy” sensation whereas I prefer harder deeper pressure.
It’s a fine experience. The toy isn’t unpleasant, and definitely gets me to a satisfying climax but it’s not memorable. The higher power settings don’t feel as impressive as I’d like for them to feel, and again, still feel buzzy.
Sound: 5/5
The Penguin barely makes a peep! Even on the highest setting, it never went over 75 decibels so it’s very discreet. (Perfect for people still living at home with parents…!)
Aesthetic: 2/5
Two? Out of five?
I know, I hear the boos already. Yes, it is an incredibly cute toy! It’s shaped like a penguin with a cute magenta bow tie, and definitely looks different than all the other generic toys.
It’s just that personally, I don’t like toys shaped like animals. There, I said it! I don’t like the rabbit toys with the little bunny clitoral vibrators, or those rubber duckies disguising vibrations. So this specific aesthetic is just not for me, despite my play partner finding it quite cute herself.
Fit + Use: 3.5/5
This one fits a AA battery with no room to spare.
I’ve mentioned before that I haven’t been abundantly blessed in terms of trans dick sizes.
(I wish it weren’t so, but alas.)
My modest size still can mean most clitoral toys are out of my reach, and while the Penguin isn’t too small for me… it’s like an uncomfortable Goldilocks experience.
It fits just right, which means that even with an abundance of lubricant I worry about getting road rash on my bits. The nozzle isn’t your typical circular or oval-shaped mouth either, but instead is a kind of square shape. This sadly does nothing for me (except make me think of that game where you match the shapes). It isn’t my favorite nozzle, despite being deep enough to fit most of my anatomy.
Trans Specific Concerns
Cute penguin design aside, my main concern is the nozzle size. If you’re a bit on the larger side, I’d seriously consider if you will fit this toy.
If you are looking for an affordable toy to test out air pulse devices but are #blessed, I’d suggest getting the Satisfyer Curvy 1+. For just a bit more, you’ll have a toy that will likely fit you a bit better and has all the perks of being able to be controlled virtually through the app!
CONCLUSION
- A very cute affordable toy
- Has a smaller square nozzle, it might fit tight if you’ve been on testosterone for a while
- Quiet!
- A bit more buzzy than rumbly
WHERE TO BUY
Womanizer Classic
Okay, let’s just get this out of the way: I really dislike the name. I really really dislike it. I’m not the only one either! I know plenty of trans men who will not even consider touching this toy at all from the name alone, despite being oh-so-thirsty and under lockdown.
This isn’t the first time I’ve played with a Womanizer toy either. Back when I was still presenting as a woman, I got extremely curious by the extreme praise of the new air-pulse technology and bought the Pro 40 model.
It knocked my socks off, but how I winced when I had to share the company name. I hated it then and still dislike it now with the upgraded Womanizer Classic.
If you’re a trans person, and will not approach this toy for the name alone, I totally understand. It’s not a good name! I’m not a branding specialist. Heck, my name is Zack Zoetic, I have plenty of people tell me how ridiculous that sounds.
However, I feel like this name even limits the potential of this brand. What happens if they ever develop a toy marketed for penises? It could still be called a “Womanizer” but considering their vulva-specific toys are so cisnormative… I doubt they’d be so considerate with gender inclusivity. What a shame!
Moving on.
Power + Function: 4/5
This thing is powerful. It’s more of a thuddy kind of air pressure, but wonderful. It reminds me of a motorcycle or a tiny little sonic boom.
Unlike the Satisfyers which include both vibration and air-pulsation technology, the Classic only uses air-pulses to get you off. This isn’t terrible, I find them sufficient, but having the option to really take this solo love fest to another level would have been appreciated.
Sound: 5/5
It’s very quiet! If you have roommates, a quiet toy can make solo sex so much more enjoyable. I don’t want to have the entire household aware of how long I’m enjoying myself for. Also, anyone who’s brought sex toys into the shared bedroom can attest: there’s nothing quite like a sex toy screaming loudly to break up the sensual vibe. RRRRRRRGH! No thank you.
The Classic is quiet! At the lowest level, it’s only 50 decibels and at the highest level, it’s 75 decibels.
Aesthetic: 3/5
The Classic’s look doesn’t thrill me. There’s nothing wrong with it! It just doesn’t excite me. With its matte purple plastic body and matching silicone head, it leans a bit clinical or cosmetic. It reminds me of pore-sucking tools from the mid-2000s, and for some people, that’s exactly what they’re into. (I see you, you little pore-cleaning freaks, you!)
Having said that, if you had the Classic on your bedside table, very few people would immediately recognize it as a sex toy.
Fit + Use: 3/5
The nozzle opening fits between an AAA battery with a little room.
I’ve been on testosterone for almost three and a half years, and it’s changed my body. As I’ve previously mentioned, being on testosterone causes your clit to grow and become bigger so lots of clit-focused sex toys just simply don’t fit.
The Classic, sadly, doesn’t fit. Looking at the nozzle, I wasn’t totally surprised by this fact, especially since it’s not as deep as the others on the list. It comes with two nozzle sizes, but they’re not even the biggest-sized nozzles that Womanizer creates.
Having said all that, the Classic still works. I know, I was surprised too! It also packs a real punch, and somehow manages to actually be enjoyable even though I wasn’t able to actually fit my entire clit into the nozzle.
The shape of the toy will also allow for some comfortable use if you use it with a partner which was an unexpected bonus.
Trans Specific Concerns
Oof, where do I start?
The name is a problem. I mean, a capital P problem. It’s the reason why many people, cis women included, have told me they avoid trying one of these toys. The name just sounds like the fevered sex dreams of a sleazy club owner who decided to make a toy for vulvas and named it after his personal email address.
The aesthetics of the packaging are… well, they’re very feminine. It’s gorgeous, but it could definitely cause some dysphoria for people, as it’s very women-centric. There are photos of a woman’s face, and she’s wearing purple to match the toy’s packaging.
Honestly, it looks more like branding for women’s yoga clothes than toy packaging.
CONCLUSION
This toy is for you if:
- The company name or cis woman-focused packaging doesn’t bother you.
- Your clit or bottom growth is on the smaller side.
- You want a quiet toy.
WHERE TO BUY
We-Vibe’s Melt
I have been looking forward to trying the We-Vibe Melt for ages.
I’m someone who doesn’t climax without specific industrial-strength attention on my dickclit, and many satisfied customers were raving about the Melt’s ability to turn penetration into a non-stop climax dispensing experience.
I wanted that for myself, damnit! I needed the boost of happy hormones and wanted it from the Melt’s adorable package.
Sadly, my dreams were dashed just from it not quite matching my anatomy.
Power + Function: 5/5
This is a powerful little toy. It’s thuddy, and reaches levels of intensity that surprised me.
Unlike the Satisfyer Pret-a-Porter or the Curvy 1+, this toy is only air pulse stimulation. If you’re going to be dropping money on the Melt, I would recommend being certain that air pulses are something that can get you off.
The Melt also connects to a smartphone app, and can connect to another smartphone anywhere in the world! I absolutely adore smartphone-powered sex toys; even if I’m not playing with another partner, the apps offer so much customization to my experience. You can even have the toy vibrate to the music of your choice! (Can you Rick Roll your pussy? Just asking for a friend.)
Sound: 5/5
It’s a quiet toy, quieter than most of the other toys on the list between 50-80 decibels. Your roommates won’t be able to hear it, and it won’t be distracting during a hot hookup.
Aesthetic: 3/5
Look, I know… it’s pink. So many sex toys marketed towards vulvas are freakin’ pink and this one doesn’t break that mold. Personally, pink is a favorite color of mine but as a trans man, having another “pink is for vulvas” toy is a bit of a downer.
Now, for the sculpt and shape… I’m a big We-Vibe fan, so I adore the soft squishy silicone covering. I love the kind of odd, approachable, and organic shape it is. However, not everyone agrees. When I showed this toy to a play partner, she wasn’t impressed and wrinkled her nose at it.
“Ew,” she typed back, “It looks like a slug. Why would anyone want that near their genitals?”
I emphasized that the shape was supposed to make it more friendly to use with a partner, especially if the person using the Melt was being penetrated face-to-face. The shape fits between two bodies comfortably, but she was so squicked out by how slug-like it looked that she wanted nothing to do with it.
That is… until she tried it.
Fit + Use: 1/5
The nozzle opening fits an AAA battery… snugly.
Do you have hipsters where you live? Specifically, those artsy hipsters who insist on wearing beanies that stay effortlessly on their head without covering their ears and kind rest on the crown of their head?
Well, that’s how the Melt fit me… and by “fit”, I mean not at all.
We-Vibe is a company I truly adore, so I don’t want to needlessly beat up on them… but nothing was working for me with regards to this toy. The nozzle is shallow and the opening is small and slanted, which still perplexes me. Just when I thought I was getting this toy to work well for me, suddenly I’d slip out of place and completely lose sexual momentum.
Can one be discouraged by a sex toy?
I got so frustrated that I asked my playmate to try it out on herself to see if I was just failing at masturbation. As I mentioned earlier, she wasn’t a fan of the shape of the toy and was skeptical that the nozzle would be big enough fit her clit at all. I was watching as she was trying to match her body up to best fit the toy, and could audibly hear when it was suddenly working.
She tried it solo and was breathless. She tried it while partnered, and was breathless.
“It took a while to figure out,” she replied afterward, still slightly panting, “It’s unique! I’ve never had such strong orgasms from a toy that isn’t a magic wand, and even then… it’s completely different.”
Trans Specific Concerns
The overall look of the toy isn’t the most neutral or masculine, so some trans masc or trans men might find that too dysphoria inducing. In contrast, the packaging is strangely the best one of the bunch in that regard.
The size and angle of the nozzle is a bit odd, especially if you’ve had any kind of bottom growth. I was hoping the squishy silicone would stretch, but it failed to hit any of my good spots.
CONCLUSION
- If you have a small clitoris, this will suit you.
- If you want a toy that you can use while fucking your partner face-to-face, this will work!
- The overall look of the toy is cute but not as gender-neutral as I’d have liked.
WHERE TO BUY
Lelo Sila
You asked, and She-Vibe graciously answered your prayers: we reviewed the Sila by luxury company Lelo! I was a little skeptical about the high praise, but as usual, was open to being surprised.
And boy, did it ever surprise me! It has been an absolute treat of a toy, despite not being the best fit for my anatomy. (More on this later.)
Power + Function: 4/5
The Sila is a thuddy toy, which can be a bit rare with air-pulse toys. When it turns on, it immediately grabs my attention, despite not having as much power as I would have liked. On a scale from one to ten with ten being the top amount of power I can appreciate enjoyably, the Sila gets to a 7.5. It’s great, and I love it but it feels like I want more of it. It feels like going to a tapas restaurant, getting incredible food but knowing you could easily eat seven more plates of mini quiches.
The model fits nicely in my hand without sliding around or giving me a wrist cramp. It looks a bit like a fancy metal snail, and it’s endearing without being sickly cute. You absolutely cannot hold it from the metal parts, the shiny metal sides are unbelievably smooth and are nearly dangerous when wet. When I first tested it, I held it by the sides and it would shoot out of my palm like a rocket!
A small but major innovation to the wave of air-pulse toys is that the Sila has a bit of a lip around the nozzle. It’s a big deal! The clitorus isn’t just what we can see on the surface, there are also two “legs” that run down the sides of the vulva. Many people find that stimulating those nerve-packed areas with deeper pressure gives them a lot more pleasure than just focusing on the visible head of the clitorus.
This little lip works like magic! I didn’t even realize how much I was missing until I tried that. It provides a more rumbly precise sensation similar to my We-Vibe Tango bullet but with the innovation of an air pulse toy.
Sound: 5/5
When the toy is pressed against your body, it’s a whisper-quiet toy. It becomes a bit more obvious if it no longer is on your skin, but not terribly so. As far as decibels go, it was in the 60-70 range!
Aesthetic: 5/5
This toy looks like a fancy skincare device, in the best way possible. With its bright and juicy aqua color, paired with the unreal gold shiny accents, it’s the definition of eye candy. It’s a roguish and dashing noble, looking to whisk me away on an adventure of a lifetime (or at least a satisfying afternoon break).
I adore the color, I love that the silicone feels sturdy, and I adore that it doesn’t wobble around awkwardly on my nightstand when I’m done with it.
Fit + Use: 4.5/5
This one fits a AA battery with room to spare!
This has become one of my usual suspects. I keep it on my nightstand constantly because it is just so damn effective and reliable. It’s a real treat!
Only issue: the nozzle size isn’t deep enough for my anatomy and I’m not packing anything impressive. Seriously, I’ve gawked in admiration to many transmasculine folks who give back to the world by showing folks their “T-dicks” and I’m not in the running for the biggest. That’s totally okay, but having said that, this toy doesn’t fit all of me which can be a bit of a bummer.
If it was only a bit deeper!
The buttons were a bit tricky to adjust while in use but pale in comparison to what is offered in terms of pleasure.
Trans Specific Concerns
Like I mentioned above, the depth of the nozzle might be a concern. If you’ve been blessed by genetics and the patron saints of transition with a larger clitorus, you have my respect and also a word of caution: this might be a bit too short for you, sadly.
If you don’t mind that, or really enjoy the focus around the head of the glans, this is an opulent jewel for your genitals.
CONCLUSION
- Exquisite design
- Deep rumbly vibrations
- The mouth of the nozzle is wide and kind of teardrop-shaped
- Nozzle depth is on the shallow side!
WHERE TO BUY
Satisfyer Curvy 1+
Wow. Where do I start? It’s like this toy heard all of my concerns before I verbalized them, and manifested in my life to help me survive both puberty 2.0 and quarantine sex death.
Power + Function: 5/5
Much like Christina Aguilera, this toy has range. It can go from a soft tickle that captures your attention, to a fast burst of pulsations that make your crotch feel like a rocket ship. Zoom!
Much like the Pret-a-Porter, the vibrations from the Curvy 1+ are buzzier than I usually prefer but in combination with the thuddy air pulsations and I barely notice it.
The real cherry on top is the Satisfyer smartphone app. It’s absolutely ingenious. You can download different vibration/pulsation patterns uploaded by other users or create your own. You can connect it to your music library (including Spotify!), or have it listen to the ambient noise around you and vibrate to those sounds.
To add to the app’s experience, connecting with a partner is a real dream. Not only can you have your partner control the app from a distance, but you can also video chat with them as you virtually fool around with each other. Fun fact: the app stops any screenshots from being taken while video chatting!
Sound: 5/5
This is a shocking quiet toy. Even at the highest setting, the toy was only around 80 decibels. It gets much quieter when pressed against a body, so it’s ideal for someone who wants an effective but stealthy toy.
Aesthetic: 5/5
This toy comes in either white or a rich merlot burgundy color. What a refreshing choice! I got it in red, and it coincidentally matches my favorite harness from Aslan. It looks approachable, yet unquestionably sexy. It’s definitely the hotter gothy cousin of the bunch!
Fit + Use: 5/5
The nozzle fits an AA battery with a little room to spare.
It fits! Not only does it fit my clit in its entirety, but the nozzle has a swirly texture. When properly lubed up, the toy feels so good. Normally I lust after the exciting textures available for people with dicks, especially from Tenga toys. The Curvy 1+ makes me feel like I’m finally getting some fun texture. Finally!
After getting myself off solo, I wanted to try this toy paired up with partnered sex. I’m someone who has a lot of trouble climaxing with partners, hence why I always gravitated towards using battery-powered toys.
Using this toy with a partner felt like being a porn star; it was so incredibly fast, and powerful that I felt like I was having some kind of out-of-body experience. I was tensing up so much that my jaw hurt from clenching so hard!
Trans Specific Concerns
This toy has very few concerns for me with regards to being a trans man. The box wasn’t the most gender-neutral like the We-Vibe Melt but wasn’t specifically screaming “HELLO I AM FOR CIS WOMEN” either.
Overall, it actually gave me bits of gender euphoria from the feeling of being able to penetrate a motorized toy with my bits. So far, it’s been the toy I’ve reached most for.
CONCLUSION
- This toy has the largest nozzle of any FTM suction toy on the market currently.
- If you’re someone with moderate bottom growth, this toy will fit you.
- If you’re someone whose girth is larger than an AA battery, this toy will be too firm to accommodate you.
WHERE TO BUY
Again, we would like to thank Shevibe.com for sending us some of the toys included in this review. This roundup wouldn’t’ve been possible without their help!
