Warning: the toys listed in this round-up review will make you climax so hard that it’ll feel like your soul is being (lovingly) ripped from your body. It will feel so intense that you will pull away at the last moment just before climaxing, too afraid to have your genitals blast off and shoot themselves directly into the sun. You have been warned.
For the last decade, air pulse toys have been the new darlings of the sex toy world. Despite being specifically air pulses (emphasis on pulses), they can give the user a kind of suction-like sensation, which is why so many people have called them “blowjob simulators”. For a trans man, the prospect of a toy providing a “blowjob experience” was supremely enticing. I mean, this decade has already decided to suck out all the serotonin from my brain so why couldn’t I fight back with some happy chemicals of my own? However, trying to find an air pulse toy that would fit meant running into the same problem over and over again: after being on testosterone for a few years, which toys would fit my bits? I wasn’t the only one worried about this either. After mentioning my sizable issue to some trans friends, they lamented about the same concern regarding size. No one wanted to drop some serious cash on a promise of pleasure, then find out they were too big to ride. There was also the issue of dysphoria: which toys would be the most gender-neutral in design, so as to not make anyone feel dysphoric? So upon hearing of my plight, I was generously sent a few toys by Shevibe.com to test and compare.
Ratings will be on:
Power + Function
Fit + Use
Trans Specific Concerns
Let’s get started!
Okay, let’s just get this out of the way: I really dislike the name. I really really dislike it. I’m not the only one either! I know plenty of trans men who will not even consider touching this toy at all from the name alone, despite being oh so thirsty and under lockdown. This isn’t the first time I’ve played with a Womanizer toy either. Back when I was still presenting as a woman, I got extremely curious by the extreme praise of the new air-pulse technology and bought the Pro 40 model.
It knocked my socks off, but how I winced when I had to share the company name. I hated it then and still dislike it now with the upgraded Womanizer Classic. If you’re a trans person, and will not approach this toy for the name alone, I totally understand. It’s not a good name! I’m not a branding specialist. Heck, my name is Zack Zoetic, I have plenty of people tell me how ridiculous that sounds. However, I feel like this name even limits the potential of this brand. What happens if they ever develop a toy marketed for penises? It could still be called a “Womanizer” but considering their vulva-specific toys are so cisnormative… I doubt they’d be so considerate with gender inclusivity. What a shame! Moving on.
Power + Function: 4/5
This thing is powerful. It’s more of a thuddy kind of air pressure, but wonderful. It reminds me of a motorcycle or a tiny little sonic boom. Unlike the Satisfyers that include both vibration and air-pulsation technology, the Classic only uses air-pulses to get you off. This isn’t terrible, I find them sufficient, but having the option to really take this solo-love-fest to another level would have been appreciated.
It’s very quiet! If you have roommates, a quiet toy can make solo sex so much more enjoyable. I don’t want to have the entire household aware of how long I’m enjoying myself for. Also, anyone who’s brought sex toys into the shared bedroom can attest: there’s nothing quite like a sex toy screaming loudly to break up the sensual vibe. RRRRRRRGH! No thank you. The Classic is quiet! At the lowest level, it’s only 50 decibels and at the highest level, it’s 75 decibels.
The Classic’s look doesn’t thrill me. There’s nothing wrong with it! It just doesn’t excite me. With its matte purple plastic body and matching silicone head, it leans a bit clinical or cosmetic. It reminds me of pore-sucking tools from the mid-2000s, and for some people, that’s exactly what they’re into. (I see you, you little pore cleaning freaks, you!) Having said that, if you had the Classic on your bedside table, very few people would immediately recognize it as a sex toy.
Fit + Use: 3/5
The nozzle opening fits between an AAA battery with a little room.
I’ve been on testosterone for almost three and a half years, and it’s changed my body. As I’ve previously mentioned, being on testosterone causes your clit to grow and become bigger so lots of clit-focused sex toys just simply don’t fit. The Classic, sadly, doesn’t fit. Looking at the nozzle, I wasn’t totally surprised by this fact, especially since it’s not as deep as the others on the list. It comes with two nozzle sizes, but they’re not even the biggest-sized nozzles that Womanizer creates. Having said all that, the Classic still works. I know, I was surprised too! It also packs a real punch, and somehow manages to actually be enjoyable even though I wasn’t able to actually fit my entire clit into the nozzle.
The shape of the toy will also allow for some comfortable use if you use it with a partner which was an unexpected bonus.
Trans Specific Concerns
Oof, where do I start? The name is a problem. I mean, a capital P problem. It’s the reason why many people, cis women included, have told me they avoid trying one of these toys. The name just sounds like the fevered sex dreams of a sleazy club owner who decided to make a toy for vulvas and named it after his personal email address. The aesthetics of the packaging are… well, they’re very feminine. It’s gorgeous, but it could definitely cause some dysphoria for people, as it’s very women-centric. There are photos of a woman’s face, and she’s wearing purple to match the toy’s packaging.
Honestly, it looks more like branding for women’s yoga clothes than toy packaging.
This toy is for you if:
The company name or cis woman-focused packaging doesn’t bother you.
Your clit or bottom growth is on the smaller side.
I have been looking forward to trying the We-Vibe Melt for ages.
I’m someone who doesn’t climax without specific industrial-strength attention on my dickclit, and many satisfied customers were raving about the Melt’s ability to turn penetration into a non-stop climax dispensing experience.
I wanted that for myself, damnit! I needed the boost of happy hormones and wanted it from the Melt’s adorable package.
Sadly, my dreams were dashed just from it not quite matching my anatomy.
Power + Function: 5/5
This is a powerful little toy. It’s thuddy, and reaches levels of intensity that surprised me.
Unlike the Satisfyer Pret-a-Porter or the Curvy 1+, this toy is only air pulse stimulation. If you’re going to be dropping money on the Melt, I would recommend being certain that air pulses are something that can get you off.
The Melt also connects to a smartphone app, and can connect to another smartphone anywhere in the world! I absolutely adore smartphone-powered sex toys; even if I’m not playing with another partner, the apps offer so much customization to my experience. You can even have the toy vibrate to the music of your choice! (Can you Rick Roll your pussy? Just asking for a friend.)
It’s a quiet toy, quieter than most of the other toys on the list between 50-80 decibels. Your roommates won’t be able to hear it, and it won’t be distracting during a hot hookup.
Look, I know… it’s pink. So many sex toys marketed towards vulvas are freakin’ pink and this one doesn’t break that mold. Personally, pink is a favorite color of mine but as a trans man, having another “pink is for vulvas” toy is a bit of a downer. Now, for the sculpt and shape… I’m a big We-Vibe fan, so I adore the soft squishy silicone covering. I love the kind of odd, approachable, and organic shape it is. However, not everyone agrees. When I showed this toy to a play partner, she wasn’t impressed and wrinkled her nose at it. “Ew,” she typed back, “It looks like a slug. Why would anyone want that near their genitals?” I emphasized that the shape was supposed to make it more friendly to use with a partner, especially if the person using the Melt was being penetrated face-to-face. The shape fits between two bodies comfortably, but she was so squicked out by how slug-like it looked that she wanted nothing to do with it. That is… until she tried it.
Fit + Use: 1/5
The nozzle opening fits an AAA battery… snugly.
Do you have hipsters where you live? Specifically, those artsy hipsters who insist on wearing beanies that stay effortlessly on their head without covering their ears and kind rest on the crown of their head?
Well, that’s how the Melt fit me… and by “fit”, I mean not at all.
We-Vibe is a company I truly adore, so I don’t want to needlessly beat up on them… but nothing was working for me with regards to this toy. The nozzle is shallow and the opening is small and slanted, which still perplexes me. Just when I thought I was getting this toy to work well for me, suddenly I’d slip out of place and completely lose sexual momentum.
Can one be discouraged by a sex toy?
I got so frustrated that I asked my playmate to try it out on herself to see if I was just failing at masturbation. As I mentioned earlier, she wasn’t a fan of the shape of the toy and was skeptical that the nozzle would be big enough fit her clit at all. I was watching as she was trying to match her body up to best fit the toy, and could audibly hear when it was suddenly working. She tried it solo and was breathless. She tried it while partnered, and was breathless. “It took a while to figure out,” she replied afterward, still slightly panting, “It’s unique! I’ve never had such strong orgasms from a toy that isn’t a magic wand, and even then… it’s completely different.”
Trans Specific Concerns
The overall look of the toy isn’t the most neutral or masculine, so some trans masc or trans men might find that too dysphoria inducing. In contrast, the packaging is strangely the best one of the bunch in that regard.
The size and angle of the nozzle is a bit odd, especially if you’ve had any kind of bottom growth. I was hoping the squishy silicone would stretch, but it failed to hit any of my good spots.
If you have a small clitoris, this will suit you.
If you want a toy that you can use while fucking your partner face to face, this will work!
The overall look of the toy is cute but not as gender neutral as I’d have liked.
Are you sexually attracted to luxury? If so, the Pret-a-Porter is for you! The Pret-a-Porter was a strange experience for me. Initially, I was confused and thought it was going to be a wearable air pulse toy; in French, “pret-a-porter” means ready to wear and this confused my sad bilingual brain. Instead, the Pret-a-Porter was a powerful, gorgeous, and an oddly sophisticated hand-held toy.
Power + Function: 4/5
Don’t mess around: this is a powerful toy. It includes both vibrations, and air pulses so you won’t need to reach for other toys to help get the job done. No questions, this toy is packed to the gills with vibration power, like it’s been force-fed a steady diet of amphetamines and candy. The controls are easy and uncomplicated. The vibrations have 10 different settings (steady and patterns), and the pulses have 11 levels of intensity. As a whole, the toy leans towards more “buzzy” sensations versus “rumbling” ones. I prefer rumbly toys, so this is a little buzzier than I’d normally go towards but it works really well!
Out of all four toys, this is by far the absolute loudest. While the other toys hovered around 60-70 decibels, the Pret-a-Porter was almost 90 decibels! So if you’re concerned about other people hearing your toy, especially through thin walls, this will definitely need to be taken into consideration.
Overall, this is a beautiful toy: the silicone is a milky pink color, the metal buttons and accents are rose gold, and the faceplate is a rich white leather. It looks like the personalized clutch of a luxury car, and for that reason alone I find it confusing.
I’m not a vegan, but I’m skeptical about the inclusion of leather for a sex toy. Leather can’t be sterilized in the same way as silicone, and I wonder if there are any issues with either the leather drying out or absorbing body odor.
The toy looks so pretty, it’s easy to assume it’s something else entirely. Will anyone be able to tell that it’s a sex toy from look alone? Probably not. It looks ultra-sophisticated, but also very feminine and reminds me of a beauty tool sold at Sephora (or Goop).
Fit + Use: 5/5
The nozzle opening fits an AA battery.
The Pret-a-Porter has ample room for larger clitorises and bottom growth. I had absolutely no complaints about it pinching or rubbing in a painful way, and with a little lube, it was awesome. The nozzle is really deep and can fit about 1-1.5 inches inside, so it really felt like a kind of motorized masturbation sleeve! If you’re looking to use this with a partner too, I would consider the overall angle of the toy. It’s roughly five inches long and needs to stick straight out from your pelvis which means that your partner will have to either stimulate your bits from behind or some other creative configuration if you can.
Trans Specific Concerns
The aesthetic of the toy is not the most gender-neutral or affirming for trans masculine folks. It really looks like a luxury haircare tool, which can be beautiful but doesn’t necessarily make me gender euphoria.
If you have a large clitoris or significant bottom growth, the nozzle size will be ideal for you.
If you’re vegan or have issues with leather on a sex toy, check out other toys instead.
Wow. Where do I start? It’s like this toy heard all of my concerns before I verbalized them, and manifested in my life to help me survive both puberty 2.0 and quarantine sex death.
Power + Function: 5/5
Much like Christina Aguilera, this toy has range. It can go from a soft tickle that captures your attention, to a fast burst of pulsations that make your crotch feel like a rocket ship. Zoom! Much like the Pret-a-Porter, the vibrations from the Curvy 1+ are buzzier than I usually prefer but in combination with the thuddy air pulsations and I barely notice it. The real cherry on top is the Satisfyer smartphone app. It’s absolutely ingenious. You can download different vibration/pulsation patterns uploaded by other users or create your own. You can connect it to your music library (including Spotify!), or have it listen to the ambient noise around you and vibrate to those sounds. To add to the app’s experience, connecting with a partner is a real dream. Not only can you have your partner control the app from a distance, but you can also video chat with them as you virtually fool around with each other. Fun fact: the app stops any screenshots from being taken while video chatting!
This is a shocking quiet toy. Even at the highest setting, the toy was only around 80 decibels. It gets much quieter when pressed against a body, so it’s ideal for someone who wants an effective but stealthy toy.
This toy comes in either white or a rich merlot burgundy color. What a refreshing choice! I got it in red, and it coincidentally matches my favorite harness from Aslan. It looks approachable, yet unquestionably sexy. It’s definitely the hotter gothy cousin of the bunch!
Fit + Use: 5/5
The nozzle fits an AA battery with a little room to spare.
It fits! Not only does it fit my clit in its entirety, but the nozzle has a swirly texture. When properly lubed up, the toy feels so good. Normally I lust after the exciting textures available for people with dicks, especially from Tenga toys. The Curvy 1+ makes me feel like I’m finally getting some fun texture. Finally! After getting myself off solo, I wanted to try this toy paired up with partnered sex. I’m someone who has a lot of trouble climaxing with partners, hence why I always gravitated towards using battery-powered toys. Using this toy with a partner felt like being a porn star; it was so incredibly fast, and powerful that I felt like I was having some kind of out-of-body experience. I was tensing up so much that my jaw hurt from clenching so hard!
Trans Specific Concerns
This toy has very few concerns for me with regards to being a trans man. The box wasn’t the most gender-neutral like the We-Vibe Melt but wasn’t specifically screaming “HELLO I AM FOR CIS WOMEN” either.
Overall, it actually gave me bits of gender euphoria from the feeling of being able to penetrate a motorized toy with my bits. So far, it’s been the toy I’ve reached most for.
This toy has the largest nozzle of any air pulse toy on the market currently.
If you’re someone with moderate bottom growth, this toy will fit you.
If you’re someone whose girth is larger than an AA battery, this toy will be too firm to accommodate you.