Ejaculating dildos are a great & surprisingly popular concept.
Society would have you think that body fluids are just plain yucky but some folks just love the stuff to a point they’d even simulate it! And that’s without counting all the other practical uses for these niche dildos.
In short, squirting dildos are underrated.
Sadly, most ( if not nearly all ) dildos that ejaculate aren’t made of body-safe materials.
So if you care about the health of your bits you pretty much have to give up on your dreams of artificial cream pies and cum shots… until now!
It seems that once more the kink gods have answered our prayers because, in the past few years, silicone ejaculating dildos have slowly started to appear, making their mark on the industry.
To sweeten the deal I won’t only cover the best squirting silicone dildos, but also all sorts of fake cum lube and recipes for different situations!
That’s right, this is the one-stop-shop body-safe cum fetish/artificial insemination article you’ve all been dreaming of! And THAT is a sentence I never thought I’d ever utter.
Why use squirting dildos?
Back when they weren’t body-safe, I was more focused on why not to use them. But as the times are changing into a more body-safe world, there are almost TOO MANY reasons to actually use them.
- The obvious: Cum fetishes!
This is for the cumshot fans, bukkake aficionados, and lovers of being internally filled to the brim with the stuff!
This is what most people think of when they think of ejaculating dildos, and while they are partially right, boy are they missing the big picture!
- More “natural” artificial insemination for lesbians, trans men, and the infertile!
Didn’t see that one cumming, did ya?
You see, the official method of good ol’ spunk and turkey basters just isn’t exactly all that romantic… or fun. So it is entirely understandable & logical that one would want to strap on a nice silicone dil, and put some love into it! So for many, a fully-functional ejaculating strap-on dildo is quite the dream!
Now for trans men, it isn’t strictly a conception thing. It can also just be about gender euphoria. All boys want an explosive finish after all!
- Seamless lubrification during play!
Yep, another curveball from your buddy Jim the Dildo Dealer!
This is an underrated but not to be forgotten use for squirting dildos. If your “cum alternative” is lube, you can slowly release it as you play to stay lubricated for as long as you’d wish!
So if you like a long session, need help with lubrification, or just like to keep your play as slippery as humanly possible, this is an awesome method to keep you going well into the night.
Also, make sure to see our guide on what lubes to use as well as how to clean your toys to avoid any complications.
With that being said, here’s our list of the best squirting dildos & fake cum lubes, not necessarily from worst to best, because everyone’s needs and budgets are different.
- 1 TL;DR
- 2 The Best Ejaculating Dildos
- 3 Best Imitation Cum
The Best Ejaculating Dildos
Pop Squirting Dildos by Tantus
The OG! When these first came out, boy was I stoked! They were the first silicone squirting dildos to ever grace the sex toy world after all.
Before the rebrand, they were called Semenette and were pioneered by Stephanie Berman, a lesbian woman looking for a body-safe alternative for strap-on assisted artificial insemination.
Being catered to women who love women, all their designs were unrealistic/abstract so they wouldn’t look like bio dude dicks.
A few years later in 2018, they sadly crumbled under the huge demand for such toys and, to my dismay and that of many body-safe sex toy die-hards, disappeared from the map. But they’ve recently reappeared under the wing of legendary silicone dildo brand Tantus! Another pioneer in the body-safe sex toy world.
With their return, they now offer two non-realistic silicone ejaculating dildos: POP and POP Slim.
POP is for people who prefer bigger bits at 7.5 inches of insertable length and 4.75 inches of circumference. It also has a nice pronounced head for the sake of all eager g-spots & prostates around the world!
POP Slim is their smaller model with 5.5 inches of insertable length and 3.5 inches of circumference. A real champion for beginners and people starting out with pegging.
Both models come standard with a syringe system, though they can easily be swapped with a bulb system instead.
You’ll be also glad to hear that their spare parts ( that includes optional bulbs ) are easily available through Tantus and various other online sex shops!
They’re the OG body-safe squirting dildos, after all. So you can’t really go wrong here!
Strap-On-Me Squirting Dildo
Here’s a little brand that’s been slowly earning its place in my silicone heart.
You see, back in my sex shop days, strangely enough, I used to be the guy to talk to when it came to strap-ons. I say strange because I’m not a lesbian or a transgender man and I’m not into pegging either… I just really knew my stuff! And as the strap-on guy, I can tell you that Strap-On-Me is doing a lot for harness aficionados!
You might notice that these dildos have a lot in common with the POP dildos.
I believe this is because this ejaculating dildo came out during the disappearance of POP before their recent return.
So why include this toy on this list if it just riffs on the OG? Well, I think it’s a great in-between size for the POP & POP Slim.
While it doesn’t come in as many colors as the POP squirting dildos, it does come with a feature I always like seeing on dildos with cum tubes.
It offers multiple alignments for the tube itself, so you can better fit it into a multitude of harnesses. So if you’re looking for the best squirting strap-on dildo, this might very well be the one because It’ll fit in pretty much any harness comfortably.
Plus, since we’re all very particular when it comes to our own pleasure, just having the option of having the tube come out at an angle that is most comfortable for you is always good!
The silicone here is great as well, not too rigid or not too soft, so it should please most!
And the multiple tube orientations make it an awesome squirting strap-on dildo as well since it’ll comfortably fit any harness you decide to couple it with.
Of course, if you prefer more realistic or fantasy designs, you will love the next entries.
Use our Strap-On-Me Coupon code TABOOLESS10 for 10% off!
POP ‘N’ Play by Tantus
Are lovers of realistic dildos feeling left out yet?
Well, don’t fret! POP dildos, with their return to the industry, came back with the POP ‘n’ Play dildos as well!
While originally made for trans men for play, packing, and conception, there’s nothing stopping anyone from using them as just plain old silicone squirting dildos also!
To make these dildos feel as natural as possible, they’ve also opted for dual-density silicone, which makes the POP ‘n’ Play almost feel like the real thing!
For those who don’t know, dual-density dildos are made with a rigid but still flexible silicone core wrapped in an extra layer of squishy silicone, which makes your dildos feel almost like IRL bio cocks!
If you’re trans masculine, you’ll also be glad to hear that this dildo also doubles as a packer.
Pack & play prosthetics are already a rarity and so are squirting prosthetics. So this is kind of a gift from trans heaven right there! It’s also not too big as to not look like you’re fully erect at all times. A big plus in my book, especially if you live/work near a school zone!
There is a small caveat though, especially for size queens & kings.
This dildo only offers 4.25 inches of insertable length and 4 inches of circumference. Now, this shouldn’t be much of an issue for most but if you like your peters to err on the side of huge, this might be a bit underwhelming for you.
The reason they went for the smaller size is so trans men can fit them in their pants as packers when not in use. But I get you, I would’ve still liked them to make a non-packing larger version of this dildo as well as it would probably be quite popular!
Of course, size queens & kings are all shedding a lone tear as they read this, but we’re not done! Keep on reading my size-hungry friend!
Big shot by Evolved
The 6-inch long & 1.6-inch wide Big Shot is probably the most feature-packed silicone squirting dildo around… BUT it’s a bit of a mixed bag as well.
Evolved’s squirter vibrates, ejaculates electrically ( no external pumps/syringe required ), and is fully waterproof.
The 10 vibration modes are surprisingly good and rumbly, which wasn’t expected at all!
The electric cum pump though is maybe not for everyone as it isn’t as powerful as some would like. It’s also quite noisy in action ( as most electrical pumps are ). So the result is a bit of a noisy and underwhelming squirt. Think dehydrated and tired vocal dude and not professional & stoic pornographic loads.
Still, if you want something a bit more natural ( if not slightly below average ) this squirting action might still do it for you! Plus, for those looking for a squirting strap-on dildo, no tube means an easy fit in any harness!
While most can live with somewhat loud and underpowered squirts, there’s a caveat that definitely isn’t for everybody here:
This toy is REALLY rigid. As in “is this even silicone” kind of rigid. So if glass & stainless steel toys just scare your orifices to death, this might not be the dildo for you.
Either way, use plenty of lube and it should make your experience much easier to handle!
If you don’t mind SUPER hard dicks, and somewhat noisy and underwhelming loads ( We all know a guy like that ), this is probably the most high-tech silicone ejaculating dildo in the business!
Of course, I realize that many of those caveats can be full-on deal breakers to some, but for others this might be the perfect toy for their needs! So there it is.
Deep Fantasies’ Dildos With Squirt Tubes
I love it when indie Etsy toy makers make it to the big leagues / mainstream retail. I love it even more when they’re fellow Canadians! We canucks gotta stick together, eh?
But more seriously, many of the best sex toy brands are actually Canadian, so it’s not just bias here. Us northerners have to stay warm somehow, you know!
You’re probably wondering why you aren’t looking at Bad Dragon right now.
As I’ve mentioned in our ever-popular Bad Dragon alternatives article. BD has had a fair share of controversies in the past and I fully understand and support folks looking for good alternatives. So here we are!
Deep Fantasies are currently selling two gorgeous pre-built silicone squirting dildos:
They come in gorgeous marbled colors ( a personal favorite when it comes to silicone toys ). I also love that the cum tubes match the colors of the toy. Usually, the tubing and pump systems on these dildos look out of place and unsightly, but not in this case! It’s a solution that is simple, smart, and just looks awesome.
While Xenomorph has a normal cum tube alignment, I also love that Irkox has a tube hole placed a little lower on the underside of the shaft, adding to the Alieness of it all! So if you like your fantasy toys to be a little uncanny and alien, this definitely is a dope option.
Now there are plenty of indie fantasy toy makers that didn’t pierce through mainstream retail making awesome squirting dildos as well.
I put Deep Fantasies on the list because I know some folks don’t love the wait times that come with getting a custom toy. But if you’re patient, here are some of my favorite trustworthy & quality brands making fantasy silicone ejaculating dildos right now:
Plus, colored cum tubes are also something I never thought the world needed but everything else just looks like an ugly piece of medical equipment to me now.
If you’re looking for a Bad Dragon alternative that has the same level of choice, customization, & extras as the popular brand, Sinnovator is probably your best bet.
Sinnovator allows you to make your own marbled ( or not! ) color mixes, offers optional suction cups, Vac-U-Lock holes, and most importantly, most of their toys can be outfitted with cum tubes!
So if you felt a bit underwhelmed by the limited ( but awesome ) choices of Deep Fantasies, you will definitely find something to cheer you up at Sinnovator.
Here you can find almost any fantasy variation you could hope for, tentacles, slinks, dragon dicks, you name it, they got it!
Most of their toys also come in multiple sizes from manageable to scary. Additionally, they offer multiple silicone densities, and the color choices are nearly endless. So don’t feel limited by their stock setups! Though some of their signature toy-specific colorways are pretty awesome as well.
The only downside ( for non-europeans ) is that Sinnovator ships from the UK so you might have to deal with customs if you’re in America. Still, their prices are great enough to make up for it!
So as long as you don’t mind shipping things from the U.K. there’s almost no reason to deal with BD anymore if you don’t feel like it.
Joystick by Transthetics
What if you want a super realistic silicone dildo that vibrates and ejaculates but you don’t want it to be as noisy or rigid as the Big Shot?
That’s where the Joystick comes in! Another sex toy innovation coming straight from the queer world!
Kind of interesting how lesbians and trans men are at the forefront of most body-safe ejaculating dildo innovations. Still, that doesn’t mean cis straight folks can’t reap the benefits and indulge as well. Everyone’s happy!
While the Joystick can easily work on its own while playing solo, it is a great “strapless” dildo for partnered play as well.
You will need to buy Transtethic’s special harness underwear ( or easily modify your own underwear ) for optimal play, but this is a great solution to make the wearer feel like this dick is actually their own!
The positioning of the wearer’s stimulation head is super unique and rubs against their sensitive bits as they play. Unlike other strapless strap-ons it provides external stimulation vs the usual internal stim, which is definitely welcome.
You know what else is welcome? That part on the wearer’s bits vibrates and it vibrates good! A Vibration that can be felt on the person on the receiving end as well.
What’s more, to ensure a perfect match with the wearer’s complexion, the Joystick comes in a nice range of natural skin tones!
The material is squishy and realistic, and the vibrations are great but what about that ejaculation action!?
It depends! For one, I love that there aren’t any external tubing or bulbs attached. The cum/cum imitation is simply inserted through the tip and you squeeze the base of the tip for the big finale.
Now, the lack of external apparatuses also means you won’t get the most explosive finish. But this truly depends on the consistency of the faux-semen ( or actual semen ) you use. If you’re using a thick cum lube, for example, it’ll tend to just flow out, but if you use a more liquid substance, it’ll truly shoot out.
This is as luxurious as silicone squirting dildos get! This toy is super realistic in looks and feel, vibrates beautifully, is an awesome strapless strapon/trans prosthetic and doesn’t have any kind of external bulb or syringe.
Of course, this does limit the explosiveness of your climaxes, but if you go with a less thick imitation cum, I’m sure you won’t be disappointed!
Best Imitation Cum
Sliquid Silk Lube
While you can just use standard lube if you’re only in it for constant lubrification during sex, Sliquid’s Silk makes that concept even better by being creamier and whiter than your standard lube, adding an extra layer of realism in the process.
It also helps that Sliquid is one of the best brands for healthy, body-safe, and PH-balanced lube!
Silk isn’t just for cum fetishes either. It was originally made to be a “best-of-all-worlds” lube in the first place, mixing the qualities of water-based lube with the long-lasting effects of silicone lube. So it’s not even branded as a cum lube, which can be a plus if you’re afraid of folks rummaging through your drawers.
You’ll be getting a great lube out of this purchase, not just a regular cum lube … which are often irritating, smelly, and have questionable shelf lives! So if you were looking for THE Bad Dragon cum lube alternative, this might be it!
If you’re looking for a cum lube that is safe to use for artificial cream pies, this is it!
Since it was made with the standard of being healthy for the ever-capricious vaginas, you won’t have any problem with other orifices either.
You can empty entire syringes/bulbs of the stuff in you and still remain healthy to do it again the day after, how wonderful!
Just keep in mind that since there is some silicone in this mixture, you will need to clean your silicone toys thoroughly as soon as possible after use so as to not deteriorate the silicone of your toys over time ( Hint: Solid and liquid silicones don’t always agree with each other )!
All in all, If you’re looking for a cum lube made specifically for internal use, it doesn’t get much better than this! Cum appreciation aside, this is an awesome lube to start with, so you won’t be disappointed!
WHERE TO BUY
J-Lube is probably the most realistic and affordable faux cum you can get your hands on.
It comes in a powder that you have to mix with water so you can adjust the viscosity to your taste. Plus, you can make literal tubs of the stuff for pennies!
J-Lube is stringy and cloudy just like the real stuff so it really adds to the realism of it all as well.
So why not skip the more expensive and tad less realistic Sliquid silk above?
Due to the sucralose content, it won’t be safe for sensitive vaginas, but still perfect for anal and cum shots!
So if you are prone to bacterial or yeast infections or just have a very sensitive flora, I’d avoid it for internal use.
If you’re more into anal or getting covered with the stuff though, there is a lot to like here! Plus, the fact that you can essentially produce it in bulk for cheap means that if you have a bukkake fetish, you’ll be able to indulge on the cheap ( if you don’t count the multiple dildos required of course )!
So while not all vaginas can take sucralose, most if not all anuses and bodies will love J-Lube! It’s stringy, cloudy, dirt cheap, and allows you to choose the exact viscosity you want for yourself. So it’s pretty hard to beat when it comes to cum lube!
WHERE TO BUY
Liquified Coconut Oil
If you’re planning on putting the stuff in your mouth as well as in your various other orifices, Extra Virgin Coconut Oil can go a very long way.
Of course, if you’re in a place where the temperature is below coconut oil’s melting point, you will have to warm it up a bit before it is usable in its liquid form. Plus, the warmth makes it feel all the more real.
You can also add a bit of water to alter viscosity to your liking.
Additionally, If you want to keep the mixture in its liquid form, mix it up with body-safe emulsifying wax and you can have it always at the ready!
While Extra Virgin Coconut Oil is safe to use in most orifices, you might not want to swallow gallons of the stuff.
Oil is pretty heavy and can negatively affect your health in large quantities! ( As a Greek, I tend to overdo olive oil and forget how caloric it is myself, so I’m speaking from experience here ). So if you’re planning on drinking the stuff like your life depends on it, you might prefer the next option better, though this one won’t be safe for internal use!
Keep in mind that if you’re a woman and extra sensitive down there, coconut oil might still irritate you. So do a small test before indulging!
I suggest starting with a small drop on the underside of your forearm and if there isn’t any redness, then try it around more sensitive areas before making the jump.
Warnings aside, this is a great option for people who wants one fake cum to do it all!
It’s a great natural cum lube ( if you’re not sensitive to it ), it’s cloudy, and not disgusting in the mouth. I’d just avoid swallowing big amounts of it if you care about your line! All in all, if you’re looking for a great bad dragon cum lube alternative that’s also edible, this is an awesome AND natural solution.
WHERE TO BUY
DIY Edible Fake Cum
Now, what if you actually want to swallow the stuff? There’s a solution, but keep in mind:
It’ll only work for swallowing and getting covered up as I wouldn’t use these recipes internally!
The base is simple, Either use potato starch or corn starch mixed in with water. ( about 4 tablespoons to 1 cup of water )
Next, you will want to heat it up on your stovetop at medium heat until it reaches a light boil. Stir well for about 30 seconds, remove it from the heat and let it cool completely before use/transferring it into bottles.
There are extra steps you can take to modify the recipe for your needs.
- If you want to make it tastier, you can add sweetener to the mix as long as it doesn’t alter the color ( like sugar or stevia ).
- If you want to make it taste more like the real thing, use salt instead of sugar. Ignore everyone online saying to add bleach, they just have a death wish.
- If you want it whiter/creamier, add yogurt! ( Greek yogurt is the thickest, and is an awesome protein supplement! )
- For extra viscosity, others like to add egg whites, though raw eggs aren’t safe to use everywhere in the world. So check how your country regulates this first!
Alternatively, another tasty method is to mix Piña Colada cocktail mixer with water.
It’s pretty realistic looking and tastes pretty nice if you’re into that type of flavor, of course. It’s also simpler than most recipes out there so it’ll leave you with more time to actually indulge! It’s just a little pricer than the starch method above.
So If you love the stuff so much that you just want to drink it, these recipes should do the trick. Just keep in mind that it’s for your skin and your mouth only!
WHERE TO BUY